Dígame
by Lov3good
Summary: I'd be lying if I said that Peter never left his mark on me in Narnia... Peter/OC COMPLETE!
1. Bang Bang, You Shot Me Down

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my character and the plot!**_

**_A/N: I'm sad to say that my other Narnia story Goodbye Alice In Wonderland is now officially discontinued, I couldn't make myself write while I didn't feel anything for the story anymore. Thus this is the new version, but different and with a twist. I kept the names etc the same so maybe that'll help. The whole purpose is still the same and I hope you'll like it just as Goodbye Alice In Wonderland, I did keep that version on my profile so if you want to, you can still read it, but I won't update it anymore. But I can't delete because of the support it had gotten. It means to much to me. _**

**_Anyway, I do want to finish this story and it starts with Prince Caspian because Peter was so adorable then. Obviously this is a Peter/OC fic. Hehe, anyway enjoy and do not hesitate to leave a message. I love hearing from you guys. So behold Dígame:_**

**_P.S Dígame means Tell Me in Spanish I think. I got it from a song Forever Love by Anna Nalick and that songs tugs on my heartstrings. _**

_**Bang Bang, You Shot Me Down**_

"Cee, are you listening to me?" I questioned. She wasn't, I knew that. Her long blonde hair was plaited and it was held together by a blue ribbon. I huffed and leaned back against the bench as I watched Cecilia Marks stare at a boy. I of course knew who this boy was. Peter Pevensie. I rolled my eyes. What she found so special about this boy, I didn't know. He was just the same like everyone else. There were tons of boys who looked like that.

I didn't know Peter Pevensie, so I refrained from judging him. For me he was the boy who was quiet during class yet fought a lot. His sister Susan Pevensie was in my class and I sat with her regularly but never really conversed with her. She was a bit too reserved for my liking. I didn't bother her though, what is it to me? Exactly nothing.

I rubbed my eyes exhaustedly and pulled my knees to my chest while one hand played with a stick that my hand found. My eyes felt like they would close any second but I couldn't afford to, I had to catch a train and if I fell asleep I would miss it, that's no doubt. Considering Cee would forget about me. It wasn't like she would do it on purpose. Her mind just works that way. I suppose she is a bit self-centred.

When I moved my eyes again several things happened. It could've been me, or it could've be him but as I looked up and met his curious eyes, who belonged to none other than Peter Pevensie, I felt a shiver run down my spine. All the way till my toes. I couldn't help but scrunch my nose at the odd feeling. While one hand was grasping the bench, the other lay limply on my knees holding down my skirt.

As for Peter, a stranger bumped into him, thus losing the connection we had. He didn't move an inch, or so I thought because the moment I heard their angry whispers that slowly got tuned up like an old radio I knew that there would be a fight and I forced my eyes to look somewhere else, because I wouldn't want to see it all, yet I failed and I was right where I started.

I saw different emotions run through his eyes. Those dark blue eyes that could put you six feet under if looks could kill. I was glad that he hadn't looked like that to me.

"I asked for an apology." His voice was oddly haughty and I wondered if he was only doing it to seem superior or if it was just his nature. I wished I was wrong both. He dropped his bag and before I knew it his hand had formed a fist and he swung it forward knocking the poor boy down.

Everything went haywire in less than a second. Cecilia, who also had witnessed the whole situation, started to scream pathetically and I automatically stepped away from her, annoyed by her reaction thus saving myself from embarrassment. Peter however was fully focused on showing the boy every corner of the platform. I quickly moved out of the way when the tables turned and Peter got slammed against the wall. I covered my mouth with my hand as I weakly backed up again. It didn't help, suddenly there were more boys joining the fight and it was three against one. I couldn't just stand here and do nothing. I walked over to one and tried to pry one of the boys off Peter. It didn't work; in fact one just brushed me away like I was a feather.

Suddenly someone pushed me away and I saw that he had come to help Peter. Things became better for them in a few seconds. But again the tables turned, what else could happen, they were outnumbered and some of them were bigger then they were, I was glad when two guards settled the whole thing. Peter trailed off with the dark haired boy behind him. Two other girls, one including Susan Pevensie, brushed by me and followed them. They sat down at the same bench where I was seated only a few minutes ago.

My things were still there and I wondered if I could go up there and just take it without them noticing me. I was fine with the things were between me and the Pevensies. They were always a bit more reserved than other children, at first I thought it was because of the war. But than I realized that they weren't the only ones. There were hundred of people maybe even millions, who were suffering the same fate they were. But everyone deals with it differently.

My dad left, a year ago. He didn't come back, nor do I expect him to. Cecilia has lost her whole family in the Blitz. She changed to, not for worst though. Or that is what you would think. Cecilia started to live more, she was the shy one before, but things have changed and so have we. We've all grown, matured, and we've been through a lot more than a person who wasn't involved in the war.

I sighed and made a decision. Why wouldn't I go and just retrieve my things. I was there first, remember? I walked back to the bench when I heard their voices. They were arguing. Naturally. I bended forward and grabbed my bag when I felt someone's eye on me. It was Susan and she was looking at me peculiarly. I was caught.

"Uh, don't mind me." I said pathetically while I clutched the bag against my chest. She gave me a small smile before she turned her back on me again. Peter was standing and as I felt his eyes on me I ignored it. I'd rather not be confronted with him at the moment. I'm sure he wouldn't want that either.

I heard the train arrive and I steadied myself upright while I clumsily tried to get a grip of myself. My current condition made me feel quite ridiculous actually because I wasn't quite aware of _what_ I was feeling. I wasn't even sure _if_ I should be feeling _something_.

As the roar of the train got too load to hear my own thoughts I took a step forward, I didn't see the stray bag though and as I felt my left foot get tangled up in the strap I managed to fall sideways, taking an unexpected person with me. I scrunched my eyes close as I mentally prepared myself for the blow. Strangely enough I didn't feel the blow, in fact, it took me a long time to fall and it wasn't because someone had cushioned the blow. I opened my eyes and what I saw was something I wouldn't dream of.

I was standing in a cave. There was sand. Lots and lots of sand. There wasn't any sand in London. I could also see the sun, the sun wasn't shining today, it was raining. There was also a deep blue sea; I hadn't seen the sea for a long, long time. So if this isn't London, what is it? Did I knock myself out and I was hallucinating now? Or was I dreaming because I hadn't woken up this morning? Whatever it was, it was something curious and out of reality.

As I looked around I saw four figures move, I couldn't entirely see them because it was dark but when they came closer and I could see them properly I gasped. Peter? What was he doing here? He wasn't alone no, Susan was there to, with another boy with dark hair and freckles and a young girl who looked like the youngest of all of us. Her reddish brown hair was plaited in two pigtails and she looked at me with those big hazel eyes. Now I was sure I had knocked myself out, they were the last person I've seen when I was on the platform. They looked at me with the same shock that was radiating on my face and I realized that it merely was a dream. I might as well play along.

"Hello?" I said weakly.

"What are you doing here?" Peter asked rudely. Oh never mind his politeness.

"How did you get here?" The younger and darker boy continued. I bit my lip subconsciously and shrugged, not knowing what else to do.

"I don't know."

"I think she was the one that bumped into me, just before we left…the platform." Susan said looking at Peter. He looked over to me again and gave me one hard stare before he turned his back on me and walked out of the cave. Susan and the other boy followed leaving me alone with the little girl.

"Wait, what about me?" I cried out. This may be a dream but it was still rude to leave me all alone, especially when I'm somewhere unfamiliar. I than felt a much smaller hand grasp mine and I realized that the little girl had took it and she was leading me out of the cave.

"My name is Lucy. That is Edmund." She said pointing to the boy with the dark hair and freckles. "That's Peter and that is Susan. We are siblings. Who are you?" She seemed quite calm and comfortable with a stranger. But I suppose it must be her nature.

"I'm Ana Deloria. I'm sorta lost…" I said trailing off while I looked around. The sun was shining and radiating heat and I couldn't help but feel at ease.

"Lucy. Do you mind me asking, but where are we?" I asked Lucy. "I know it isn't London, I don't even think we are in Britain anymore but this place seems so familiar yet I cannot put my finger on it. But I suppose that's normal in a dream, right?" Lucy looked at me like I was crazy.

"Peter, Susan, Edmund." She called and her brothers and sister came back again even though they never were really gone, they were hovering from a distance. Supposedly to make me feel less intimidated. Or that's what I like to tell myself.

"She doesn't know she's in Narnia and she thinks it's a dream." Lucy said. I frowned. Narnia? What is that? Are we in it? Or maybe it's a game!

"Is that a game?" I voiced. Susan shook her head but Peter gave me a weird look, I immediately looked over to something else.

"It's quite beautiful." I mused. "I wonder where we are. Do you know?"

"This is Narnia." Edmund stated. He looked at his siblings and I felt a bit left out. Like they knew something I didn't.

"Narnia? Hmm, never heard of it before. You sure it's Narnia?" I asked. They nodded in unison. I shrugged and slipped out of my shoes letting my toes feel the sand. It was slightly heated but it felt great to feel the sand again.

"Yes, we're sure but how did you get here?" Peter responded. I shrugged.

"I think I knocked myself out when I fell or I'm still dreaming. Don't worry though, I'll wake up in a second." I replied honestly. Hey it's a dream; I can say anything I want.

"You're not dreaming." Lucy said, she was giggling slightly while Susan looked at Peter worriedly. I didn't like that look.

"Yes I am." I replied stubbornly. I held out arm for her and she gave me a strange look.

"Pinch me and you'll see." Lucy looked at Edmund and he sighed and moved forward to pinch me.

"Ouch!" I yelped. I looked at him while I held my arm close. He rolled his eyes. Wait a second. I'm still in _Narnia_. It must've not worked. I glared at him and silently pinched myself. Again. And Again. And Again.

Nothing happened.

I looked over at them panicked. I wasn't waking up. What's wrong? Did I hit my head that hard? Or is my mind playing tricks. Whatever it is, I wanted it to stop. I hoped the Pevensies would have answers. They didn't, they looked just as surprised as I was. If not more.

"I'm not dreaming am I?" I asked quietly. I wasn't quite sure what to expect as an answer. The whole situation seemed strange, weird, and almost surreal.

"That's what we've been trying to tell you." Susan said gently. "This is Narnia. You're _in_ Narnia, with us." I wasn't sure how to react so I looked at everyone evenly before reality hit.

"Wait, what?" I started to feel a bit light headed. So I was transported somewhere unfamiliar in less than a second? Not to mention a place that didn't even exist on the map.

"Welcome, I suppose." Lucy said, smiling. I didn't remember anything though because one second I was staring at Lucy and the other moment the only thing I could see was a lot of blue while it turned darker and darker.

Now I seriously knew that I had knocked myself out.

**_Leave a review anything! _**


	2. Eyes Wide Shut Unopened

**_Disclaimer: All C.S Lewis. Everything! _**

**_A/N: The second chapter guys! I'm glad with the response! Thank you! So here is chapter two! _**

**_Eyes Wide Shut Unopened_**

I felt warm hands trace my shoulders down to the small of my back supporting my back. If I had any control over my body I would've shivered. But sadly enough my whole body felt weak and limp. Suddenly I heard whispers, which became clearer every second.

"I didn't expect that." I heard Edmund say. His voice was very easy to distinguish from the others. Slowly I began to feel my limbs again and my eyes fluttered open. The moment I saw the bright sun shine in my eyes I scrunched my eyes close and let out a groan. My head felt like it was swimming and I silently moved closer to something solid on my right. I hadn't realized that I was clinging to it like child would hold on to his mother.

"She's waking up." Lucy pointed out. I opened my eyes again and Lucy's face was the first clear vision I had. I raised my hand to my head as a husky smell filled my nostrils. I wasn't quite sure what I smelt but it was nice and it was soothing. I wouldn't mind having it around me constantly.

"What happened?" I asked in a groggy voice. Susan's face came in vision and so did Edmunds. They were looking at me, still weary. I hoped they would loosen up a bit. It would surely make things easier for me.

"You fainted." Susan said. Her voice gentle and concerned.

"Just what I need." I muttered. Suddenly I realized that Peter wasn't there. I wondered why it took me so long to figure out that we were missing the fourth Pevensie. Suddenly I realized that there was a hand on the small of my back. Another hand was on my arm and as I traced the arm, up to the shoulder I let out a small yelp. Peter let me go immediately and I quickly put my hands down, ready to support myself.

"You alright now?" Peter asked. He didn't really seem concerned. But I shouldn't expect him to. I felt a bit odd seeing him stand so far away from me, he was so close not just a minute ago.

I nodded and Susan helped me get back on my feet. I was glad I didn't feel faint anymore. Peter didn't reach out or anything. He just kept standing there, as were the other Pevensies. Just waiting for me to say something. I wasn't quite sure what to say though.

"So this isn't a dream?" I began. I might as well state the obvious. Lucy nodded eagerly. At least someone was glad to have me around.

"Right." I mumbled. "I'm going crazy. That's it. I'm mental!"

"You're not crazy." Lucy responded. She looked at Susan as to encourage her.

"We might as well start with the beginning." Susan said and she beckoned me to sit down again. As they all seated around me, telling bits and pieces of their story, which contained a witch named Jadis, a lion named Aslan and Mr Tumnus, a faun and let's not forget the beavers. I noticed how entrancing it all was. I didn't completely understand it but I kept on nodding anyways. I realized that Peter didn't say much. In fact, he kept quiet most of the times and he only pointed out when somebody told the tale wrong. He really seemed conceited.

"Wow, so you stayed here, for how long?" I wondered.

"Fifteen years." Edmund said. "Then Lucy found the wardrobe again and we went back to England."

"Oh. Right." I rubbed my forehead and shrugged out of my cardigan revealing my grey uniform.

"It doesn't explain why I got here though. All of you had a purpose here in… Narnia." The word still tasted foreign in my mouth. I looked at the Pevensies and I realized that they wanted to know the same thing. They were just as oblivious as I was, if not more.

"Don't worry. Aslan will know the answer." Lucy responded. I didn't believe this girls enthusiasm. It was unbreakable almost. It was impossible to break this girl's spirit.

"And Aslan was the real King of Narnia right, the lion?" I asked. Hoping it would get easier by time.

"Yes, that's Aslan." Edmund responded.

"I can't believe I ended up here." I cried out loudly. "I want to go back. Let me go back to England and I swear I won't ever lock up Mrs Figg's cat in the basement."

"You lock up cats in the basement?" Edmund looked at me like I was crazy. Well I suppose I was.

"I hate cats." I murmured. "I absolutely hate those bloody things. They're evil, I'll tell you." Edmund rolled his eyes but Susan laughed.

"I understand what you mean, I don't like cats either." She said. I smiled at that. It's quite funny to see Susan run away from cats. I chuckled at the image.

"Why do you want to go back?" Peter's voice broke through the calm atmosphere like a knife. Wasn't it obvious?

"Because I live there, why else?"

"There is a war going on there?" He pointed out. I shrugged. I know there was a war going on there, but my father was there to. I needed him.

"I know, but its home. It's all I have and I wouldn't want to trade that for anything." Peter huffed at that and I glared at him.

"There's no need to act all superior. Just because you're a king _here_ doesn't mean you should bring it up all the time. If I recall correctly you weren't treated like a king back in England." I snapped angrily.

"What are you implying?" Peter hissed. His face was frighteningly close.

"That you are a conceited little git." I responded meeting his eye.

"Maybe we should all calm down." Susan suggested while she pulled Peter away from me. I crossed my arms and turned my back to him.

"Why don't we all go into the water?" Edmund offered. I looked at him and than at the water. It was quite tempting if I was honest. Why not, what did I have to lose?

"I'll race you." I shouted while I looked at Lucy who bolted immediately. I followed her and as I pulled my hair loose I charged in to the water. The cold liquid made my skin tingle. I could taste the salt in the sea as it sprinkled my bare skin.

As I turned around and splashed the nearby person I realized it was Peter. Maybe it was time to get him back for being mean? Ah well, I might as well do that. I splashed water in his face and burst in to laughing when I saw his face. It was shocked but also amused. I have to say, he looked quite adorable with that clueless look on his face. It made him seem harmless, though I knew better of course. He wasn't harmless. Not at all in fact.

Peter cupped the water in his hands and threw in my face. As the water filled my open mouth I spluttered. Before I knew it I had lost my balance and I had tumbled in to the water. I didn't mean to get _that_ wet. I felt his hand around my arm as he pulled me out of the water again. I spit the remaining water back into the sea.

"Was that really necessary?" I growled. He just rolled his eyes and moved away from me. I never understood boys and Peter was no exception.

"What is it Ed?" I heard Peter call out. I moved my eyes back to him and I saw Edmund look at the scenery.

"Where do you think we are?" He asked to no one in particular.

"Where do you think?" Peter said looking at him pointedly. I knew it wasn't what Edmund meant. I followed his gaze and it settled upon ruins.

"Well, I don‟t remember any ruins in Narnia." He responded. So it seems that I wasn't the only clueless one.

"Maybe we could get up there?" I offered as I followed Edmund and Peter out of the water. Even though I was wet I was glad that the sun was radiating heat. My clothes would dry up quite easily and I grabbed my shoes and cardigan, propping it beneath my arm. My grey dress was wet, as was my white blouse but I didn't mind. Not even the fact that it was clinging to my curves and it made two certain Pevensies glance over in my direction. The latter was slightly disturbing, and I had trouble hiding the ridiculous blush which was colouring my cheeks.

I looked at Susan and Lucy who had straightened their clothes again and were trailing behind me. As I fell in step next to them I couldn't help but feel apprehensive if not uncomfortable. The Pevensies had each other, and who had I? Nobody, besides, they were all here for a reason while I tagged along accidentally. They were somewhere familiar and I was stuck in some dream like situation where I'm too far gone to even distinguish reality from fantasy. It wasn't normal, it most certainly wasn't but the only thing I could possibly do was following them.

"Don't you think somebody will miss us back home?" I asked Susan. Susan shook her head steadily and here brown hair bounced along. Her blue eyes which seemed to be some what dull before were now glittering with excitement.

"No, time works differently here, they might not even miss us." She responded earnestly.

"Ah, I see." My voice sounded very crestfallen and who could blame me?

"Don't worry. Narnia is a lot of fun, especially the fauns. You should see Narnian balls Ana. They're beautiful and so much fun." And so Lucy started to tell me all about the Narnian balls as we three girls trailed behind the two male Pevensies.

**^*^**

"I'm hungry." Lucy complained. I had to agree with her, my stomach was sorta grumbling to, demanding food but the food I had was in my bag. This was left behind in England because I dropped it when I stumbled. So either way, we were without food.

"I'm sure we'll find something eatable." Susan reprimanded. Susan was very rational and had great instinct based on common sense. Wish I had that, most of the time I'm irrational because I'm far too stubborn to listen to others. So I assume I'm pretty selfish to.

I sighed again as I walked up the hill, we were almost there. The whole walk was pretty exhausting and I simply just wanted to sit down and take a time out. But Peter was dead set on us getting up there and since nobody was complaining, except Lucy, we followed behind him like little puppies.

"Lucy! Catch!" Peter's voice rang in the silence and I saw him toss Lucy and apple. She caught it effortlessly and she took a bite.

"Ana!" I looked up and managed to catch the red blur that was heading my way. It was apple and Peter had thrown it for me. I smiled. It was sweet. Sort of. Nah, it was a nice deed. Let me put it that way. He smiled back but something in that smile made me a bit cautious.

"Does anyone still have their sandwiches?" Lucy asked cheerily.

"Well, I left mine in my bag. And I left my bag in the train station. And than I left the train station in England." Peter's voice sounded happy and it made me smile that he was so excited to be back. But his words were the thing that didn't made me happy.

The train station was in England. We were in Narnia. Which was, I don't know how far away from London. I sighed and pushed myself to quicken my pace and as the unruly ground beneath me started to straighten I realized we had managed it to the top. The sun which was blocked by the trees at first was now shining and it warmed up our already dry clothes.

"Come on Ana." Lucy urged as she took my hand and pulled me across the ruins. "Look." She pointed out as I look at the Bluegreen Sea. The colour that seemed quite familiar in one of the Pevensies. I automatically turned my eyes as I skimmed all over the place for the one I recognized. Peter.

"It's beautiful." I murmured as I found Peter walking up some steps. I suppose he must've felt someone watching him because he turned his head and our eyes locked. Just like on the platform. I managed to give him a small smile before I turned my attention back to Lucy who gave me this funny look. I just shrugged and turned back to the sea.

"I wonder who lived here." I wondered out loud. Lucy voiced that thought along with me and I followed Lucy, leaving the beautiful view behind me. It wasn't like I wasn't ever going to see it again.

"I think we did." Susan responded and she bended forward to pick up something. I made my way to her and looked at the golden statue which was being held in her hand.

"Hey." Edmund exclaimed and he got closer to Susan. "That's mine…from my chess set."

"Which chess set?" Peter asked. He walked to us and I was faintly aware of a certain smell that was filling my nostrils when he stood beside me. I cautiously took a step away from him hoping nobody would notice. Only Susan did. She glanced in my direction and I bit on my lip and hoped she wouldn't mention it with everyone here.

"Well, I didn't‟t exactly have a solid gold chess set in Finchley, did I?" Edmund said sarcastically. Oblivious to what was happening around him.

"It can‟t be." I heard Lucy whisper next to me. She was looking at the ruined dais and suddenly ran off. Peter yelled her name and followed her in quicker pace.

"Don‟t you see?" Lucy pointed out. She pulled Peter to the middle and did the same with Edmund and Susan while I stood in front of them in the dais. "Imagine walls. … And columns there… and a glass roof."

"Cair Paravel." Peter whispered. I met his gaze and realized that this wasn't a happy moment. Because this was the castle they lived in. Or used to live, there wasn't much left of it anymore.

**_A/N: Leave me review! There are chocolate chip cookies!_**


	3. It Feels Like My Life's Not My Own

_**Disclaimer: Own nothing bla bla bla! **_

**_A/N: Sorry for the long wait but here it is! Thank you for the reviews and please don't hesitate to do so again! I love hearing from all of you. Tell me anything that pops in your head! Thank you for reading, so here is the next chapter:_**

_It Feels Like My Life's Not My Own_

Home. That same word went through my head every single second. In fact, it was all I could think off. I wanted to go home. Right now, I didn't care how we would figure out a way to go home, but I wanted to go home. Immediately. No pun intended, no jokes, the plain, simple truth. My wish, right now, I want to go home. However, I was the only one thinking about that. The only one that seemed to yearn for home. The Pevensies were more distraught and shaken up by the fact that Cair Paravel was destroyed. If there was someone who would understand how it felt to be away from home, it would've been them. Because they had lost their home and were standing in the dais, surrounded by what was left of it. It was like the Blitz all over again.

But I didn't care. Call me selfish, but how could I possibly care since they were familiar with both worlds. I wasn't, I didn't know where Narnia was, what the language was, the origin, the culture, everything. I couldn't say where we were if I got a map of Narnia and had to locate myself. Basically I was lost between familiar people. I was the stranger here, forced to follow another road while I my mind was set on something else. How was I going to ask them to bring me home?

"Susan." I muttered quietly. I wondered for a few second if the brunette had heard me but when her ice blue eyes turned my way I knew she had. Her face was scrunched up in sorrow and her eyes were portraying a certain meaning of pain. Of course, Cair Paravel. Their home. It was destroyed; of course she would be hurt.

"What is Ana?" She asked gently, trying to keep the hurt she felt inside, even though her face was easily readable. I suppose that's the way it was with Susan. Hiding emotions, hoping nobody would recognize something, while in fact everyone around her knew how she felt. The more she held in, the more the others knew. It may sound strange, but it felt logical.

"I was wondering, uhm, I don't want to be rude or something…" I was ridiculously careful around Susan. I took a deep breath and realized that I still had the apple Peter had given me in my hands. I wasn't that hungry anymore.

"Yes?" Susan waited patiently and I decided to leave the matter. Why would I bother her now while she was obviously busier with her own feelings? I was indeed very selfish.

"Never mind, I'll ask you later." I murmured and with a strange look in my direction Susan turned her back on me again and sat down on a rock which was served as a little bench.

"What are we going to do now Pete?" I heard Lucy ask. Her voice was drenched in sorrow and she was turning to Peter for comfort. Her older brother. Her protector. It was obvious he loved his little sister a lot. I suppose it was because she was so young and he felt a certain need to protect her. He was with her every single second. Busy with keeping her from danger, making sure she wouldn't stray away.

"I'm not sure Lu, Ed and I are going to look around a bit more, we'll call you if we found something. Just stay here and I mean it. No wandering off." Peter said with a stern look on his face. He looked in my direction and saw that he was looking at Susan with a pained expression. Something was going on here and it was obvious it wasn't my business. Peter made that quite clear.

"I don't want to stay Peter. Let me come! We could go together. It'll be much safer." Lucy replied. She stood with her arms crossed in front of him and her eyes glistering with a certain kind of fire that she used on him quite often apparently because he gave in only a matter of seconds. He opened his mouth to say something when he was cut of by a yell. Everyone turned to the source of the volume and saw that it was Edmund.

"Peter! You have to see this!" He yelled and he beckoned him to follow him. He went immediately and Lucy, Susan and I followed. What else could I've done?

We saw Edmund crouching in front of something which was blocked from our view. He stood up carefully and eyed Peter, he was already there.

"Catapults." He stated and he looked at Peter, whose face was looking awfully pale.

"What?" Lucy asked, I was glad for Lucy or else nothing would be cleared out for me to understand.

"This didn't just happen." Edmund said. "Cair Paravel was attacked by catapults."

"But who would want to attack Cair Paravel?" Susan wondered. Peter shrugged coolly but it seemed like he was boiling from the inside.

"Did you have any enemies?" I asked carefully, hoping I was saying the right thing. Peter's face turned to be so abruptly I was scared he would have a whiplash, he was free from that though but the evil look he gave me was enough for me to shut up. I could hear Susan tell Peter off in a manner it reminded me of my aunt. Peter didn't look at me after that.

"No, at least, not that we know of." Edmund answered. "We left Narnia in peace last time, I can't imagine anyone who would be responsible for this." I nodded in understanding though I didn't grasp the entire meaning the concept was clear. Narnia was supposed to be in peace. Yet something happened which disturbed the balance.

Peter moved to a wall and started to move it, revealing a wooden door behind it. We girls trailed behind them. As the door was fully in view Peter ripped off a part of his white blouse and picked up a stick. He started wrapping it around the upper part of the stick. He looked at Edmund.

"I don't suppose you have any matches in there, do you?" He asked looking at the bag Edmund was carrying. Edmund looked inside and retrieved a torch.

"No, but would this help?" He asked with a grin, holding up the torch. We all smiled with him as Peter threw the stick away.

"You might've mentioned it a bit sooner." He said and he opened the door. He stepped back and let everyone in. Wasn't he the perfect gentlemen? Edmund went first with Susan right behind. Lucy moved after that and than his gaze settled on me and he gave me a pointed look which obviously said 'get inside'. How was I going to tell him? I took a cautious step and peered inside the dark. I didn't see anything though when I looked at my feet I saw that there was a staircase leading somewhere. I felt a little push and realized that Peter was waiting for me to get in. I took a step back and managed not to collide with Peter.

"What are you waiting for? Get in!" I shook my head.

"No thank you! I'd rather wait here. Where it's not dark and stuffy." I murmured the last part but it was obvious Peter had heard. He gave me one exasperated stare but I wasn't going to budge. I didn't want to go inside. What would I do there? He suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me in the tunnel behind him while he was mumbling incoherently, though I managed to pick out something like: overreacting and something like utterly adorable. I didn't understand that last part.

"Where does this lead?" I asked hoping I would sound casually but as the dark of the tunnel was closing in on us I couldn't remain calm. I was thankful for Peter that he was leading me even though I'd rather go back.

"Just stick close." He replied. Now that's a clear response. Sure makes things easy to understand. Hope you're noting my sarcasm.

"Okay." I mumbled. I just gave in to the most conceited prat I've ever met and I'm even liking it. Now you see, that is a problem.

We walked as I would collide with him often enough which caused some awkward moments from my side. I wasn't so sure how he handled it because I couldn't see his face in the dark. Suddenly his pace quickened and I had no other choice but stumble behind him in the same pace.

"I can't believe it's all here." He muttered when we entered a round chamber room with four chests and golden statues. They all rushed to each one while Peter stayed behind and grabbed a round shield which was covered in sand. He blew bits of the sand away and looked at it sadly. I couldn't help but wonder that there was more to Peter Pevensie than he let through. I felt like I was imposing and sat down on the last step of the staircase and watched all of them pick out things out of their chests like dresses, helmets, arrows.

"I was so tall." Lucy gushed as she pulled out a lavender coloured dress. It was far too big for her. Susan looked at it whiles she held a crossbow in her hands.

"Well, you were older than." She pointed out and I frowned, forgetting for a moment that she was older when she left Narnia a year ago.

"As opposed to hundreds of years later…when you're younger." Edmund confirmed my thoughts and I held in a laugh as he had a helmet which was far too big for him on his head. He was practically swimming in it.

"What it is it?" I looked up at Susan and saw that she frowning while she was looking fervently in her chest for something.

"My horn." She clarified. "Must've left it on my saddle the day we went back."

As Susan went through her chest again I saw Peter walk towards his own chest and pulled out a sword. It felt strange seeing them with medieval weapons. Weapons we wouldn't use back in England. Yet they were so comfortable with holding them, I wouldn't want to know how they would look like using them. Peter's sword suited him. In fact, a sword in general suited him, and somehow I felt this strange longing ignite in my veins and spread throughout my body. Suddenly Peter looked at the blade and I could see a description written on it. Even though I could only see it very faintly.

"When Aslan bears his teeth winter meets his death." He spoke.

"When he shakes his manes we will have spring again." Lucy finished. "Everyone we knew. Mr Tumnus and the Beavers, they're all gone." The heartache on Lucy's face was hard to miss as I got on my feet and moved to the Pevensies. I didn't ignore the painful look Susan gave me and as I was in no state of offering comfort as I needed my own I still tried and wrapped my arm around the sniffing Lucy, whose shoulders were shaking while silent tears fell.

"I think it's time we found out what's going on." Peter replied and he turned back to his chest and grabbed some clothes, or so it seemed and moved to Lucy. I pulled away from her as he kissed her head brotherly before beckoning Edmund to come with him.

"We're going to change upstairs; we will see you upstairs in a bit." He said, his voice was strained as he kept it all inside. He gave me one lingering look of which the meaning was unknown to me.

I always wondered what in heavens name made Peter so attractive, I stopped wondering now, because I was attracted now. Obviously. I still wished I knew why. I don't fall for boys, I don't. I'm no Cecilia who sees the best in every single male, I don't feel obliged to. She however did, which was of course the reason why she was so popular. Popularity was a luxury for me, a luxury I didn't crave. The whole thing with Peter made me feel so dependent. Dependent on his reaction and it was something I avoided.

I hadn't realized that Peter had left the chamber room along with Edmund when suddenly Susan handed me over a dress. The dark blue colour contrasted well with my slightly tanned skin and my dark hair. I looked up at Susan and she gave me a smile which I returned. As I looked more closely to the dress I saw that it was cut that deeply and I was thankful for that. Lord knows how that would look like.

"Uh Su? May I call you that?" I asked carefully. Susan turned to me and nodded, she was holding a purple dress that looked similar to mine in her hands.

"Are we supposed to wear these dresses, as in right now?" I gulped nervously and I realized I was clutching the fabric of the dress a bit too tightly than necessary.

"Yes, these dresses are common in Narnia, seeing as we can't go in our school uniforms, that would look a odd, wouldn't it Lu?" Lucy laughed in response and I laughed along side with them, even though I didn't understand the pun.

We all got dressed in silence and as I tugged off my dirty clothes and shrugged into the dress Susan gave me I wished for a bath. Wouldn't that be splendid? A warm, nice, long bath to relax my muscles. That was exactly what I needed to feel at ease again.

"That dress looks wonderful Ana, doesn't it Su? Look at her." Lucy cried out enthusiastically and I was waken from my reverie. Susan was done and she was plaiting her hair. I wondered how she could do that. I never plaited my own hair; my aunt always did that for me, or Cecilia.

"Amazing Ana, you look wonderful, I wish you could see it on your own." Susan said. I shrugged and tucked the loose strands of hair behind my ear to hide the fact that I was feeling flustered.

"Are you done?" Susan asked and I nodded. There was much for me to do and I pulled the ribbon out of my hair and wondered why I took the effort to look nice. Ah, Peter. I almost forgot. Almost. I quickly ran my hand through my hair to look presentable and I took lead while Susan and Lucy followed me up the stairs.

Susan's dress looked lovely; the colour was exactly the right colour that suited her and accented her features. Lucy looked adorable in her red and golden dress. I than saw the little dagger sheathed at her hip. I than turned my eyes to Susan and saw the bow. I was almost certain that Edmund and Peter both had their swords. Suddenly realisation dawned on me, I was the only one without a weapon, and seeing that even Lucy has a weapon it meant that Narnia wasn't safe at all! How would I manage when I didn't even know how to defend myself?

As we manoeuvred through the narrow stairs back to the sun I suddenly wished Peter was here again, to help me with every single step. I know it sounded pathetic but I hated the dark, ever since the Blitz. I shivered and took a step when suddenly my left foot gave away. I let out a shriek and was ready to fall in the abyss when I felt two arms pull me back. I fell back on my behind on the step before and I saw that Susan and Lucy had pulled me to safety. I could hear the thumps of my heart in my ear pump louder and more erratic.

"Are you alright? That was a close one." Lucy cried out and I shifted away from the black none existing step. I nodded and pressed the palm of my hand to my heart rubbing it anxiously. Susan cried out her brothers names and they appeared looking frantic and anxious. I didn't blame them. I slowly got on my feet again and looked at the steps in front of me. Three of them were missing. How could I have not seen?

"Bloody hell." Peter cursed. I winced and saw Lucy move closer to me, clutching my hand. I clutched just as hard back.

"You alright there?" Edmund asked and we all agreed, I didn't say anything though, still shaken up. I suppose I understood the seriousness of the whole situation, and I wasn't talking about the missing steps. I was stuck here. With noting to protect me.

"Ana?" I looked up startled and saw that Peter was holding out his hand for me to take. His blue green eyes stood determined and I felt some parts of my anxiety fade away. I hadn't realized that Susan and Lucy were standing behind him and Edmund. I hadn't felt Lucy dropping my hand. I swallowed the big lump that made it hard to breathe and reached out for his hand as he pulled me close to him while I jumped the distance.

His hand never slipped.

**_A/N: Let me know how it was, a few words are fine to!_**


	4. Beards And Bedsteads

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine!**_

**_A/N: I am so extremely sorry for the delay. This is the longest delay I've ever had! I'm sorry, I just got so caught up that I forgot about this fic entirely. But don't worry, I'll keep updating. So thank you for the reviews in my absence. Here is the next chapter, I hope you'll like it :)_**

_Beards And Bedsteads_

The blistering heat that shone upon us was tiring for us. Little beads of sweat were pooling at the back of my neck and I had stopped trying to wipe it away. We were walking for an hour now and the heat was still the same. I think it was getting worse every second. I sighed and carried myself through the sand and trailed behind the Pevensies. I didn't mind being left alone right now. If I was honest I was quite comfortable with it all, I had time for myself and the Pevensies were being quite nice by staying clear for a while.

But I suppose that wasn't just for my own good, it was partially because they didn't know what to say. I understood that, especially with everything going on, and with the little incident that just happened. I shivered and it had nothing to do with the non existent cold. It scared me a lot. But not just because I almost dropped dead, quite literally. But because I put too much trust in Peter. It felt strange, and it wasn't a good kind of strange. It was uncomfortable and confusing.

Because I knew it was only coming from one side. And I think it was obvious from which side it's coming.

Me.

"Oye, stay close, will you?" I looked up startled, only to be confronted with Peter's face. I realized that I had stopped walking in all my pondering and I nodded at him. I picked up the hem of my dress slightly and carried on walking again. Peter was waiting for me and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. Great, he was waiting for me.

"Sorry." I murmured embarrassed as I fell in to step beside Peter. He mumbled something incoherently and with that he kept walking besides me. At least he didn't invade my personal space that much.

I raised my hand and wiped away the dampness on my forehead. I was sure I looked like a mess. My hair was clinging to the back of my neck like a second skin and the dress was getting heavier every minute. Or so it seemed. As I looked at Susan and Lucy I realized that I wasn't the only one having trouble. Although Susan looked so much more graceful than I did. Lucy kept smiling however and I realized that I was the only spoilt sport here.

I glanced at Peter and saw that his eyes were focused on his siblings who were a small distant ahead of us. Suddenly his eyes were on me and I quickly looked somewhere else. Pretending I never looked his way. I heard him sigh and I bit my lip, feeling somewhat ill at ease.

"Thank you." I murmured. I realized I hadn't even thanked him for before and couldn't help but blurt it out like that.

"I realize that I haven't even thanked you properly. So thank you." I dared to look at Peter and saw him nod gently.

"Don't mention it Ana." Peter replied and there was sincerity in his voice and I liked the fact that he was capable of being genuine after all.

"Narnia, huh?" I asked trying to start a conversation.

"Yes, Narnia." He responded and I realized that he wasn't put that much of an effort to keep the conversation flowing so I kept my mouth shut after all. Like I said before, this was just coming from one side.

"This is really happening, right?" I asked out loud. It was something that was still in my mind. The surreal ness of the whole situation was still taking its toll on me. I still felt like it was a dream and that I was going to wake up soon enough.

"Fortunately." Peter said and I saw a ghost of a smile on his face.

"You don't have to do this, you know." I told Peter. "You're not obligated to baby sit me. I can handle myself." I saw his surprised face and was almost fooled by his confusion but I knew that he knew as well what I was talking about.

"Do you truly believe that? You don't even know where you are, if I knew you could handle yourself I wouldn't be here. You can trust me on that." I flinched. That was harsh but at least it was the truth. I sighed and nodded in understanding.

"But still, I don't want to inconvenience all of you."

"You're not." I looked up. "A burden, I mean." Peter clarified. I pulled away my eyes and looked at my feet.

"How'd you figure that?" I asked. He shrugged and looked at the sky, the sun shone in his face and he looked at me again. It was hard to keep my eyes on him.

"I'm sure there's an explanation for all this." He suddenly changed the subject. "We just need to find Aslan and we'll find out what to do next." He assured me. I frowned. From what I've heard was that finding Aslan was a difficult task on its own. Aslan finds you, you don't find him.

"And what if you don't find him?" I voiced out loud. Peter looked at me and frowned.

"We will." He said coolly and he quickened his pace forcing me along with him.

And with that the little bit of kindness I never knew he had in him faded away and I was left with the same impression I had of him before. It didn't soothe my stomach though. It still felt like it was in knots. I sighed annoyed and just followed Peter. The silence that had engulfed us wasn't pleasant and I wasn't so sure how to react.

"Drop him!" I heard Susan shout. Before I knew it she had shot an arrow at something as Peter ran up to her with his sword drawn. I picked up the hem off my dress a bit higher and followed them. In front of us was a river bordering a forest and on the river there were two soldiers with something in their hands. I squinted my eyes and saw it was a child. Or so I thought because of the size. They dropped the poor thing in the water and one of the soldiers grabbed a crossbow aiming it at us. I gasped and moved backwards while Lucy grabbed my hand and stayed close.

Susan had strung another arrow and shot the soldier right in the chest. Peter and Edmund jumped in the water and several seconds later Peter came up with the child in his hands. But as both of them approached I saw it wasn't a child, unless children nowadays had beards. I pulled away from Lucy as she bended down on her knees and cut the bonds with her dagger. He looked like a dwarf as he pulled off the gag.

"Drop him?" The dwarf exclaimed, looking indignant. "That's the best you can come up with?"

"A simple thank you would suffice!" Susan responded back offended. I didn't blame her. He was being very ungrateful. Susan just saved his life.

"They were doing fine drowning me without your help." He replied heatedly. I scoffed and realized that I was hiding behind Edmund. For being younger than me he was still tall.

"Maybe we should've let them." Peter responded back coolly.

"Why were they trying to kill you anyway?" Lucy piped up. I looked at her and than realized that all off the Pevensies were far too comfortable with the dwarf. I felt left out and it was obvious that this wasn't going to be the first time.

"They're Telmarines, that's what they do." The dwarf responded exasperated. Telmarines? Another foreign name I didn't recognize.

"Telmarines, in Narnia?" Edmund looked surprised.

"Where have you been for the last hundred years?" It sounded a bit like a joke; at least I think that was the intention. The dwarf suddenly looked like he had an epiphany as he looked at the Pevensies, his eyes than rested on me and I knew I looked out of place. I stepped back a little.

"It's a bit of a long story." Lucy excused. Susan handed back Peter's sword and the dwarf looked at the hilt.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me. You're it?" The dwarf exclaimed. "You're the kings and queens of old?"

Peter held out his hand for him to shake. "High King Peter…the Magnificent." I could've slapped myself for that last bit. Peter was most definitely proud of his title, I knew that but this was a bit too much. Or so I thought.

"You should've let out the last bit." I murmured under my breath and I looked up to see Peter give me a little glare. I smiled at him apologetically.

The dwarf chuckled. "Probably."

"You might be surprised." Peter said as he held out his sword at the dwarf.

"Oh, you don't want to do that boy."

"Not me, him." Peter nudged Edmund and he pulled out his sword. The dwarf took Peter's sword and it dropped in the sand. Peter pulled me away from the scene and I looked at Edmund and the dwarf in anticipation.

Suddenly the dwarf swung his sword and knocked Edmund's sword away. Edmund ducked when he got hit in the face. I gasped pulling at Peter's sleeve. He wasn't going to stand there and do nothing? Edmund was his brother for crying out loud.

"Edmund?"

"Aw, you alright?" The dwarf taunted.

They started to circle around each other while ducking and swinging their swords. The dwarf aimed for Edmund's feet and he jumped, his feet off the ground causing the dwarf to miss. A few clashes later the dwarf's sword flew out of his grip and Edmund pointed his sword at him.

"Beards and bedsteads, maybe that horn worked after all." The dwarf said as he fell in the sand looking at Edmund in awe. I had to admit. That was pretty impressive. I glanced downwards and realized I was still clutching his sleeve. I let go abruptly and Peter noticed that. He looked at me with an unreadable expression and I mumbled an apology.

"What horn?" Susan asked sharply.

**^*^****  
**So apparently the dwarf's name was Trumpkin and it was obvious he didn't trust me. Great, another obstacle and issue for me to worry about, whether a dwarf trusts me or not. Now I only need to worry about the fact he won't drown me in the river. I sighed again. It was the only thing I could do, the only way I could possibly let out my anger and frustration. So I kept sighing.

"Who is she?" I heard Trumpkin ask. Well that was quite rude. I looked at him and saw that he was talking to Peter. Great, the two people who disliked me the most.

"She's with us." He said calmly. Trumpkin glanced at me and saw me looking at him. He grumbled something incoherently and walked to the boat as Peter made his way to me.

"I think I should leave." I announced. Peter looked at me surprised, if not amused. Susan and Edmund were in hearing distance and I knew it was attracting attention.

"I'll find my way back home on my own." I said weakly. That didn't sound convincing at all.

"You're being ridiculous Ana." Edmund exclaimed, he stood next to Peter. There wasn't that much of an height difference.

"Well, than I am ridiculous." I exclaimed, feeling so aggravated. "But I'm sick of this." I motioned between us. "I don't know what to do and all of you are so familiar with it all and it's just so exhausting because I just want to go home. So please just let me go and…" I trailed off. I didn't understand what I had just blurted out and it looked like I wasn't the only one. Peter and Edmund looked at me with confusion in their eyes.

They don't understand.

"Ana." Edmund sighed exasperated. "I know this is hard and it must be really confusing for you."

"But it would be better if you stayed with us." Peter finished. I winced at the harshness of it all. I saw Susan glare at him. "What? Look, we all know she could get herself killed if she wandered off alone." He said casually and I felt stupid.

"Ana, don't mind him." Susan said looking at Peter. "I know that this is frightening but you cannot leave us. If you're with us we are able to protect you." I felt tears burn in my eyes and I buried my face in my hands as embarrassment washed over me.

They weren't seeing my point. I wasn't so sure if I was seeing it either. I was tired with all of the fairytales and other magical things that were happening. It wasn't real and now I was stuck in Narnia with no clue of getting back, if I was even getting back because the last time the Pevensies were here, they didn't leave for fifteen years. I didn't want that.

"You don't get it." My voice was cracking. "You belong here. I don't."

"No." Peter said. His eyes were slightly softening when he saw me but the harshness of his tone was still there.

"What do you mean no?"

"No, as in you're staying with us. And the issues you seem to have are all in your head. Right now, all of us don't belong here, but we're going to figure it all out. So do us all a favour and just stick with us."

Susan grasped my arm and pulled me with her. I felt the dampness of my tears on my cheeks. I sniffed and wiped the tears away. I didn't want them to see me this way, even though it was already too late.

"Don't take it too personally what Peter said. He means well, but his words don't always match his actions." I nodded.

That was one thing I finally understood.

He meant well.

**_A/N: Please review, I love 'em!_**


	5. Up Where The Hunted Hide With Ease

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, but the obsession I seem to have with these people!**_

**_A/N: Sorry for the delay, I was thinking quite a lot about where I wanted to go with this fic and where I wanted to put Ana into it all. Not to mention what I wanted her to be for Peter. But anyway, I figured it all out and expect the updates to be more frequent, if my agenda will allow it of course. I'm in my senior year now and I'm exhausted, already, and school just started! Lol! But I suppose anyone get's tired with all of it. But anyway, I'm happy I got this out today, I updated my Oh Jules story yesterday, so check that out, if you're into Twiligt and imprinting stories. I think being sick has it's perks when it comes to this site, you suddenly have free time! _**

**_Anyway, the chapter title is inspired by Missy Higgins's song Going North! Love the song! Though I was listening to Jan A.P Kaczmarek Overture from The Visitor OST, that made this chapter melodramatic, I think! Ugh, me and my drama streak! Sorry, enough blabbing. Thank you for the reviews. They make my day :) Now do the same again :P_**

**_P.S I changed the summary, did someone notice?_**

_Up Where The Hunted Hide With Ease_

As my fingertips brushed over the cool water I couldn't help but let out sigh. It was comforting. Not to mention it somehow cooled off my body, the temperature hadn't risen but it didn't mean it wasn't hot. The trees however shielded us from the boiling heat the sun's rays brought us. Rowing down the river, which was the Glass water, did take off my mind of the possible danger we were in. Shooting those soldiers was meant to give us trouble and I wasn't so sure where I stood in all of this.

"You're being quiet." Peter commented, he was the one rowing the boat and I was seated next to Edmund facing him. I shrugged looking at the back of Susan's head who was conversing with Lucy and the dwarf Trumpkin.

"There isn't much to say, is there?" I replied and I bended forward again, letting the water touch my fingers.

"Switch places with me." Peter said and Edmund sighed before getting up. I frowned at the sudden change of demeanour and scooted closer to the side of the boat so Peter could sit down next to me.

"I wouldn't bend too far if I were you." Peter said, there was a small smile on his face only I couldn't decipher what it meant. I glanced at Edmund in front of me who was looking at Peter with a meaningless expression, or so I thought.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He shrugged crossing his arms and I found him looking around with a lazy expression on his face. I caught myself of being extremely tense. My shoulders were stiff as was every other movement I made. And even though I was exhausted I couldn't bring myself to relax. I wasn't comfortable with Peter so close and I wondered if he could hear my heart beat out of my chest. As I felt my body sag forward in fatigue and my eyes started to flutter close I jerked backwards. I was not going to fall asleep.

"You alright?" I heard Peter's voice close to my ear and I found myself nod eagerly. I tried to ignore his warm hand on my arm as its warm was seeping through the fabric of my dress. I put my hand to my mouth to hide the yawn.

"You _can_ sleep. It would do you some good." I glared at Peter. The latter of his sentence wasn't necessary and I huffed before I leant against the back of the boat.

"I'm fine." I emphasised. "No need for your concern."

"I wasn't concerned." Peter said casually. "I merely suggested it so we wouldn't have to worry about you falling asleep when we're on our feet again."

See, this is what I mean. Peter has no idea how to treat a girl. But that of course was common knowledge seeing he was getting into fights for the past year that easy that I was surprised they hadn't suspended him from school. I glanced at the blond next to me. If I was honest, I had mixed feelings when it came to Peter Pevensie. Surely there was one part of me slightly attracted to him not to mention there was some tension between the two of us. Something I don't think went unnoticed by his siblings. But there was also a part of me that couldn't understand him one bit.

I wanted to understand him, trust me, but I wasn't so sure how to approach the guy I mean, we barely knew each other before we ended up in Narnia. I didn't know the boy and he surely wasn't making an effort to converse with me which didn't make things easier either.

"You know what I'd like to know." I said out loud looking at the Pevensies. "Why I am here. I mean, from what I've gathered you were here to save Narnia from the White Witch." I swallowed before continuing. "I don't think that you need my help to save Narnia this time."

I heard Peter sigh next to me and I inwardly cringed, waiting for a lecture that was heading my way. But it wasn't Peter that spoke up though.

"You don't know that Ana." Edmund spoke up. "If there is one thing I've learned, it is that Aslan has a purpose for anyone who has been brought to Narnia. Including you."

"Edmund's right." Lucy chimed in. "I'm sure that when we will find Aslan things will become so clearer." I heard Trumpkin snort and frowned.

"It's easier for you to say." I replied. "Lucy you _know_ Aslan, you know that he is capable of doing whatever he can but I don't have much to go after."

"Then I suggest you start trusting us." Peter suddenly said. I snapped my head to him.

"Peter, that's rude." Susan scolded but he ignored her.

"It's not about trusting you or not." I defended myself. "Try being in my place, I'm stuck God knows where and on top of that you're making things so hard."

"Me making things hard?" Peter looked at me surprised with slight anger in his eyes. "Ana, don't think we don't know how you feel because we've been there! And if you're talking about trust than it's not us who is having trouble. It's you."

"I beg your pardon?" I stood up quite violently mind you when I suddenly realized that making sudden movements on a boat wasn't the smartest thing to do. I could hear Trumpkin yell as I my sense of equilibrium was unstable and I tumbled backwards.

I felt the impact of the cold water on my back and I had no time to take a breath before I was taking under. The whole thing may have taken about a few minutes at most but once under water things seemed to slow down and I found myself looking around in shock. I hadn't realized that I was letting myself sink down when I felt something solid underneath my feet.

Going without air isn't the easiest thing to do but if you stop paying attention something else always captures you. And with me, it was the coldness of the water. At first I could feel needles prick my skin, it was that cold, but after a while it was becoming less noticeable and I realized that I couldn't feel anything at all.

It was than I was starting to notice the lack of air and I felt the edges of my vision blacken. I realized that if I stayed here doing nothing I would most likely drown and I pushed my feet against the bottom of the river so I would have a bigger chance of getting out the river when suddenly something yellow caught my eye. Something was moving towards me and I recognized it to be Peter. He grabbed me by my arm as he pulled me up with him.

We broke the surface and immediately the numbness disappeared replacing itself with a prickling sensation I could've done without. I grabbed onto Peter's shirt as I gasped for air. I could hear him curse and mutter something. I tried not to focus too much on that as I felt him guide me to the boat. As both of us got back in the boat I finally realized how big of a moron I was.

"Clumsy girl." I heard Peter scold me. I felt his voice far too close for comfort as his arm was around my waist and I was still coughing up water and with all the shaking it wasn't an easy task to do.

"Peter, she's turning blue." I heard Lucy point out. I felt a hard slap on my back and more water came out of my mouth. Finally I felt like I was able to breathe again and I let myself fall backwards. A warm hand was rubbing my back and I leaned against the touch.

"Easy now."

"Thank you. That's twice today." I muttered hoarsely. My throat was hurting because of the large amount of water I had swallowed and I grasped the edge of the boat.

"Just don't make it a habit." I heard Peter reply.

"Wasn't my intention."

**^* ^**

"Susan wanted me to apologize." His voice made me look up from where I was sitting. We were making camp for the night since the journey was too long for one day. Tomorrow we would continue per foot and I wasn't looking forward to that. I sighed and nodded turning my face to the water again. I was leaning against a rock, looking at the water from a distance. I was also quite far away from the camp but not far enough because I was still visible to them. I felt Peter sit down next to me. His arm brushed against mine, a shiver went down my spine.

How much can an innocent brush affect me?

_Too much._

"I am sorry." Those words sounded foreign in his mouth and it showed, not only in his voice but also on his face. I glanced from the corner of my eye, his blond hair was dark in the night and in the pale moonlight it shimmered slightly. My almost black hair contrasted quite a lot with his.

"Apology accepted. The blame is partly mine." I admitted. "I'll admit I was slightly overdramatic."

"Slightly?" Peter scoffed and I had to refrain the urge to push him. Sensing this issue Peter held his tongue. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on top of it. The night was most certainly chilly but I was managing for now.

"Why are you here all alone?" I shrugged.

"I was craving silence." I told him not knowing what else to say. Partly it was true, because being away from them made this issue somehow easier to bear. Without the constant looks of pity they gave me. Also because I was so out of place.

"Are you trying to tell me that I should bugger off?" I let out a small laugh and smiled at Peter. There was a smile on his handsome face as well and he seemed some what at ease now. No more jests, no more taunts.

This was just Peter.

"I want to go home, Pete." I confessed. His hand was suddenly on mine. The warmth the little gesture gave me brought me more comfort than thought and I leaned against his arm. Tears collected in my eyes and some oozed out of the corner of my eye.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry." I pulled away from Peter, wiping away the dampness on my skin.

"Don't be." Peter murmured and he looked at me, waiting for a reply.

"I suppose I'm still waiting for someone to tell me this is all a dream." I said.

"I think we're beyond that point now." Peter responded and he got back on his feet. He held out his hand and after a slight hesitation I took it. He pulled me up on my feet in a swift motion.

"Doesn't mean it's true though." I replied stubbornly.

"Ana, why can't you accept that this is real?" Peter sounded aggravated and his voice was lowered to a violent whisper. He didn't want his siblings to hear us. I understood that.

"Because I just can't. It's unreal. These things don't happen, Peter. You tell me, if you were in my shoes, wouldn't you question all of it?" I waited for a reply yet none came. "You can't honestly tell me that you would believe it immediately?" I sounded astound.

"Let's say, I got my proof." Peter said. His voice, low and harsh, was filled with hidden messages.

"Well I want mine." I replied simply. "I want it now."

"It doesn't work that way?" Peter sighed exasperated and he dropped his hand leaving mine cold and open again.

"Then tell me, how does it work? Because frankly I'm getting tired of it."

"Trust me Ana, you're not the only one who's tired. All of us are, yet you do not hear us complain."

"That's different. You can't possibly compare my situation with yours." I argued. "You just can't."

"Why not?" Peter suddenly shouted. I cringed. "We're in the same situation Ana, when will you get that? All of us were pulled into Narnia. The sooner you see that, the less troublesome this journey will be." I tried to ignore his vivid blue eyes on me alongside the way he towered over me.

Both of us were breathing loudly, him in anger and me in tears. So there we were, strangers stuck in the same situation. The one difference was that he had the knowledge of a lifetime and I had no other option than to trust him blindly in whatever he was planning. I raised my hands to my face, hiding behind it.

Things always seemed better when my eyes were closed.

"It's late. Let's head back to the fire." Peter's hands were on my shoulders and he gave them a gentle squeeze before turning away.

I think it was time to fess up and stop all the nonsense I was giving everyone. Not only was I making things difficult for everyone else, I was making things hard for myself as well and the latter was quite difficult to burden. I blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill over. Nothing was easy these days. And it didn't help that I despised and liked Peter at the same time. I wanted to take his word, but I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to believe all of this.

Maybe I was really insane and I had created this world.

Or maybe this was really happening.

Or maybe it would be better if I went to sleep now.

**_A/N: Review and let me know your thoughts :)_**


	6. Everything Is Out Of Focus

_**Disclaimer: Not mine. You know it!**_

**_A/N: Gosh I'm exhausted right now, I think I need some sleep. Anyway, here is the next chapter. This was really spontaneous so pardon the randomness and the lack of drama here. But it felt good actually. Next chapter will have a wee bit of drama but till then I hope you'll like this chapter. _**

**_Thanks for all the alerts and reviews. I got some new 'fans' if I may use that word for this story and it's making me giddy. Yay! You're making me forget my current issues by just reviewing. It's seriously cheering me up :) I've read all of the reviews by the way and I know I haven't replied but I love them anyway :D I'm glad that people think this isn't just the Prince Caspian movie but with an extra OC because I didn't want it to be that way. I actually have to force myself to stay in line with the movie because I have the tendency to stray. But things are going pretty darn well ;) Enough yapping though and enjoy :_**

**_P.S This chapter title is from the song Out of Focus by Kari Kimmel.  
_****_  
P.S.S This will be probably be the last update for a month because I'm going on a trip but maybe I'll post a chapter before I leave, to please you guys ;D But give me some dough for that though :P_**

_Everything Is Out Of Focus_

The night went by quite fast, even though I hadn't slept most part of it, the cold made me shiver and I couldn't sleep too well because of that, the fire went out somewhere in the middle of night, so there wasn't anything providing any warmth. But once I fell asleep due to exhaustion there were images running through my mind. They kept blending in and out of my conscience and everything seemed so out of focus that it still felt like I hadn't slept a wink. So on top of everything that was going on I was still exhausted.

"Ana? Wake up." My eyes snapped open and I saw Lucy hover above me. Her reddish brown hair was glistening in the morning sun and I squinted my eyes because everything seemed so bright.

"You're fairly hard to wake up you know, I've been calling your name for five minutes now." I smiled.

"Sorry, my aunt always told me I slept like the dead." I used as an excuse and Lucy smiled beckoning me to get up before she walked over to Edmund who looked like he just got up himself. I sat up straight and looked around till my eyes found the one they were looking for.

Peter.

He was talking to Trumpkin while he held out a map. His eyebrows were furrowed and the corner of his mouth was pulled downwards as it seemed he was engrossed in whatever the dwarf was telling him. His hair was slightly askew and the back was sticking up in various directions. I found it adorable. I heard someone clear their throat and I pulled away my eyes from Peter just to be confronted with a curious Susan.

"Good morning." I quickly mumbled as the heat rose to my cheeks. I knew she caught me looking. She smiled at me yet suspicion was in her eyes and I bit my lip in anxiety, wondering if she was going to say something.

'Good morning." She replied and I raised my hands to my hair to flatten it. It must look like a bird's nest. Susan chuckled.

"Don't worry, it doesn't look too bad." She told me as her sharp blue eyes were filled with mirth.

"I hope it doesn't." I responded wishing there was a comb to brush my hair with.

"He won't mind either." Susan remarked sharply. My cheeks were most definitely red right now. See, this is what I was so worried about. The fact that they knew something they shouldn't. Not because it was true, far from it, I mean, fine I acknowledge the fact that there was something between Peter and I, but not in the way Susan thought.

We were different.

"Let's go, shall we?" Susan urged and I got up, following her all the way.

The journey continued and all of us were in the boat. I avoided talking to Peter mostly. Just answered shortly and probably dismissively when he asked me something. I knew I was being irrational, I knew I was being immature but somehow Peter always managed to bring out the bad side of me. I didn't do it on purpose, gosh no!

As we pulled out on the shore again everyone got out of the boot. Happy to stretch their legs again. As I followed Edmund I felt my foot get tangled up, I turned around with my upper body just to lose my balance. I knew this was going to hurt; the thing was I didn't know I was going to take someone else with me. As I put my hands in front of me I felt something solid and I grabbed it, merely to hold on to something.

I forgot that someone was Edmund.

Both of us went down, hard. I gasped as I felt my side collide with the ground hard. I wasn't the only one, Edmund screeched, not so manly I might tell you, and somehow he managed to swipe me up and I fell on top of him. My head on his left arm. Both of us were groaning in pain when suddenly I realized the position we were in. Edmund did to and I rolled off his arm as both of us got red. I felt arms haul me up.

"Sorry." I apologized. "I'm truly sorry, I wasn't looking. Bloody hell. Truly sorry." I mumbled. Edmund rubbed his arm where I had landed.

"It's alright." He grumbled and I tried to keep in the laughter that was about to explode.

"Real elegant Ed." Susan commented and she sent me a smile that made me roll my eyes and laugh. I dusted off my dress and felt Peter's eyes on me.

"I can feel you looking you know." I pointed out when Edmund wasn't in hearing distance. I looked up only to find Peter much closer than before. I felt like frowning, I couldn't figure out his expression. It was torn between amused and something else which I couldn't decipher. Confusing right, isn't it?

"You got something right there." Peter murmured and he pointed at my cheek. Realization came over me and I wiped my cheek with my hand. "Missed it." And he tapped his cheek again. "Here let me."

He raised his hand and caressed my cheek with his rough hands. I bit my lip giving him a small smile as he pulled away. His small touch gave me shivers and I was already feeling so undone in his presence. I closed my eyes, feeling woozy.

"Don't move your majesty." Trumpkin's rough voice shook me out of this moment and I looked at him, following his gaze, my eyes settling at the scene. Lucy was standing while a real life bear was on his back paws, ready to attack.

"Lucy!' I yelled out as everything went in slow motion. Peter and Edmund rushed to their swords as the bear charged towards Lucy. I could see the terror in her eyes as she started running towards us. I was frozen in fear as Susan strung her bow.

"Stay away from her." Susan shouted as Peter ran past her.

"Susan shoot!" Edmund ordered and he as well moved past her. The bear kept charging and Lucy lost her footing and screamed. Oh no, this wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. I felt my feet move and I realized I was running towards the scene. Suddenly an arrow hits the bear and it crumpled to the ground. I turned around, Susan still had her arrow. I than saw Trumpkin behind her, he had shot the arrow.

Peter hauled Lucy up on her feet holding out his sword to the bear, in case he wasn't entirely dead. Lucy was clutching Peter's tunic and as I approached them I could see dirty tear streaks on her cheeks.

"Why wouldn't he stop?" Susan murmured and I saw her next to me. She was confused. I wasn't however. It's a bear; it wouldn't stop just because some raving lunatics came around swinging weapons.

"I suspect it was hungry." Trumpkin said stonily and he bend down on his knees next to the dead beast.

"He was wild." Edmund cleared up.

"I don't think he could talk at all." Peter sounded surprised and I found myself raising my eyebrows. Talk?

_Talk._

I must've forgotten. Animals were able to talk in Narnia. I wonder why I forgot. If the message wasn't clear, this was me being sarcastic.

"If you get treated like a dumb animal long enough, that's what you become." Trumpkin said and he drew his sword and before I knew it he had plunged it in the animal's stomach drawing blood. I felt the nausea set in. The crimson liquid poured out on the ground staining it red.

"You might find Narnia a more savage place than you remember." Trumpkin said gruffly and I couldn't agree more, feeling astound by the calm of the dwarf. He didn't seem bothered by the blood. The others were, well minus Peter. Although I suspected he looked a bit peaky when seeing all the blood.

Susan pulled me away and she led me back to the boat with Lucy. She seated Lucy on the shore and grabbed her duffel bag and pulled out a cloth. Dampening it with the water she started to wipe all the dirt from Lucy's face as Lucy still cried. It reminded me of what a mother would do. I sat down next to Lucy, my hand rubbing her back, trying to offer some soothing.

"Why c-couldn't he talk?" Lucy cried out.

"I don't know Lu, I don't know." Susan sounded lost herself and I realized that they felt just as lost as I did. Because this wasn't the Narnia they left behind. It had changed the second they left and now they're back and things weren't as they expected it.

"I'm sure we'll find out." I murmured. "There must be a logical explanation for this. I mean, there must've been some non talking animals when you were here? Right?"

Lucy shook her head. "We've never met an animal who couldn't talk in Narnia. Never." She shook her head fervently. More tears spilled over and Susan pulled her sister in an embrace not even bothering to shush her. I suspect she knew that Lucy needed to shed a few tears not just because she was almost attacked by a bear who was planning to maul her but because of what happened here.

Two hours passed quickly and we had set camp. Tomorrow we were planning on continuing the journey on foot and I really wasn't looking forward to it. Walking miles for days, I couldn't get afford to get lost here. Especially because I didn't want to provoke Peter's wrath. I sighed, wondering how long this whole adventure would last. I know all of us desire adventure, the rush, adrenaline, but once thrown in one we back out. It's exactly what I'm doing.

All of us were gathered around the fire and we weren't talking a lot eating silently. I wasn't so hungry and settled with the apples we found for dinner. The night was cold and I huddled closer to the small fire. We didn't want to attract unwanted attention hence the small fire. I knew it would go out before it was even midnight and we'd be shuddering all night long. I would do anything for a warm bed.

"I suggest all of us get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day." Peter suggested and he sounded tired. I glanced over at the blond and I could see the shadow of the flames dance on his face. It illuminated his face and I could his sea blue eyes stare in front of him meaninglessly.

"Good idea." Edmund murmured next to me and he got up heading towards the trees. "Be right back." He said and the only who reacted was Susan. Telling him to be careful.

This day was tiring and I hadn't even done much exhausting. I felt heavy though, like there was this strange pressure on my chest. I wasn't sure where it came from, I was sure of the feelings it made me feel. Mostly fear. It was out of control. I had no control over it, whatsoever. It was hard to ignore as well, the ominous trees surrounding us didn't soothe my silly thoughts either. I exhaled shakily and lay down on my side. My back turned to the fire and the heat it radiated warmed the fabric of my dress and like that my body temperature rose.

Getting comfortable on the soggy ground wasn't an easy task to accomplish. After hearing the others shift and move around for a while soft snores started to fill the starry night. Trumpkin being the loudest made it impossible for me to catch sleep and I realized that this night I wasn't going to sleep. I'll be honest though, it wasn't like I was trying real hard to fall asleep. But with the cold I wasn't so sure if I wanted to sleep.

My mind was far too occupied with thoughts, running around, making me dizzy and draining me from the little energy I had in the first place.

"You really should get some sleep." Peter's voice startled me and I shot up. He was next to me and I watched him warily as he sat down next to me. I pulled my legs to my chest rubbing my knees.

"I know." I murmured. "But it's not that easy."

"That I know Ana." He said tensely and suddenly I saw him in a different light. We hadn't talked much, and when we did both of us were tense. Like now for example. Peter seemed jittery whereas I felt fine for once.

"You look tired." I remarked as his weary face seemed heavy for some reason. It worried me and that worry was followed by surprise. Why would I care? Maybe because he seemed to care about me as well? I still remember how his hold on me when I had fainted.

"I'm alright. You shouldn't worry about me." He said, hitting me right on the spot. I bit my lips, a small smile tugging on the corner of my lips. I felt caught, but since everyone else was asleep and it was only him and I. I didn't mind. Or at least, not enough to make a ruckus. Something I'm quite good at.

"I don't worry." I replied simply. He shifted closer to me. His side now brushing my arm. I went stiff.

"Wouldn't hurt if you did though." His reply made me frown. Since when did Peter care if I worried. He was the masochist here, so bloody convinced by his own righteousness and his duty as the eldest of the family.

"Don't flatter yourself." And with that silence engulfed us, except for Trumpkin's snoring though. I was aware of the proximity of the distance that seemed to lessen between us. I shivered as a breeze went by us, I shivered and the fire went out.

It was pitch black. And I hated it. I couldn't see anyone just the small white dots in the sky that resembled the stars. My breath hitched in my throat, last night I fell asleep while the fire was still lit. But now it's out and I couldn't see a bloody thing. This small thing made tears appear and the familiar anxiety filled me up from my toes.

I felt Peter's warm hand on my arm pulling me closer to him. I turned to him. I could outline his features and the movements he was making. I was able to see a bit of him because of that and I let him pull me into his side. His arm went around my waist as he slowly rubbed circles. I tried to protest.

"We shouldn't…" Peter shushed me, his breath on my chin.

"Let's not think of that, just tonight." I found myself nodding and I rested my head on his shoulder. Fatigue creeping up on me. My hands were resting on the hem of his tunic and I found myself pulling at the loose threads. I suppressed a yawn by burying my face in his chest. I felt completely at ease and it surprised me. Was I even supposed to feel this way just because I knew that there was this chemical reaction the both of us seem to have?

"Sleep." He whispered and I my hand lay limply on his leg as I could feel his breath on my lips. I closed my eyes involuntarily as I tasted his sweet breath on my tongue. He made me tingle, from my toes till the top of my head.

I wasn't sure who initiated it all. After all, it wasn't something both of us planned, I hope. But our lips met somewhere halfway as we leaned and suddenly his cinnamon lips were on mine. We weren't moving. We were merely connected by his lips gently on mine. I wasn't on fire, it wasn't passionate. But it did feel nice. Soothing, and for a first kiss it felt perfect.

No need for passion, there was plenty of time for that. For now, I was perfectly content with this. A mere brush was enough. It made breathless anyway.

It made me tingle.

**_A/N: Let me know your thoughts, I love hearing them. _**

**_P.S I published new Twilight fic, a Paul/OC called It's Not Me, It's You. If you're interested go take a look :)_**


	7. We Built A Tall, Tall Tower

_**Disclaimer: Not mine! You know that!**_

**_A/N: I know I said I wouldn't update in quite a long time but this chapter had a mind of it's own so I had to update. Thank you for all the alerts and reviews. I absolutely love them, thank you! And all the silent readers, thank you as well :) I love hearing from you as well, don't be shy!_**

This chapter is actually in two parts. The second part will be out when I get back :) The chapter title is inspired by the song Speaking A Dead Language by Joy Williams. It's a lovely, heartbreaking song! Listen to it :)

_We Built A Tall, Tall Tower._

"I don't remember this way at all." Susan mentioned. I ignored the throbbing pain in my feet and kept on following the Pevensies. Lucy had brightened up more and she was back to her perky little self. I saw her give me a curious glance as she caught up with me.

"That's the problem with girl. You can't carry a map in your head." Peter jested and he turned his head to show his little smirk. I rolled my eyes but couldn't keep the smile from appearing.

"That's because our heads have something in them." Lucy remarked and I laughed. Peter turned around again. Looking a bit sour now. I raised one of my eyebrows at him and Lucy's elbow connected with my side. I turned to the smaller Pevensie. She was giggling.

"I wish he'd just listen to the DLF." Susan said behind us. She was clueless to the whole exchange and I was grateful for that. Heaven forbid another Pevensie would pressurize me into saying things I do not want to say.

"DLF?" Edmund sounded confused and I turned around. Walking backwards.

"Yes, Dear little Friend." I clarified. My own contribution to it all. Trumpkin looked up and glared at me. His blue eyes piercing with indignation.

"Oh that's not patronizing at all." He remarked and I shrugged it off.

As we entered the rock passage I reminisced about this morning. I couldn't remember falling in sleep but when I woke up it was still early. Dawn I presumed. It took me a while to realize that I was lying next to something warm and solid. Something that had attached itself to me. As I turned carefully I was confronted with the sight of Peter snoring softly. He was lying on his stomach with one arm around me, his hand resting comfortably on my hip.

My head was tucked in the crook of his neck and I was able to inhale his cinnamon scent. It was so strange that I had kissed the boy I barely knew yet knew that there would be more kisses to come. I sighed loudly and his hold on me tightened as he shifted in his sleep. His eyes had not fluttered so I assumed he was till asleep. His sharp features seem to strike me more now in the morning passages that I raised my hand slowly. Tracing his jaw till I reached his lips. I pulled away when his eyes suddenly snapped open and I found myself looking at Peter.

"Morning." He said and I smiled not knowing what to say. Now this was slightly uncomfortable and I slowly untangled myself from him.

After that I couldn't help but catch myself sending him secret glances. He saw that, I knew it, everyone else understood. So I wondered what was worse.

"I'm not lost." Peter murmured and he pulled me out of my reverie immediately.

"No." Trumpkin grunted. "You're just going the wrong way." And with that the argument ignited.

"You said you last saw Caspian at the Shuddering Wood, and the quickest way there is to cross at the river rush." Peter pointed out. He turned to Trumpkin and accusation was in his eyes. I bit my lip knowing that Peter was wounding up about nothing. At least Trumpkin was calm.

"But, unless I‟m mistaken, there‟s no crossing in these parts." Trumpkin replied and I couldn't help but curse Prince Caspian. Couldn't he just come to us?

"That explains it then. You're mistaken." Peter gritted out arrogantly.

"Peter." I had said his name before I even realized it and he turned to me with a 'don't start with me as well' look and I mumbled and apology as he pulled me in front of him urging me to continue walking. We returned to the woods again, those bloody trees were giving me a headache.

"You could listen to him." I suggested as the silence began to make the migraine I had grow.

"No need for that Ana. I know where we're going." I huffed. He was a bit too stubborn.

"Yeah but don't you think things would be different? I mean, you guys haven't been here for hundreds of years." I pointed out. Peter chose not to react and suddenly I realized that his hand was holding on to my wrist.

"Peter." I mused. "I'm not going to run away you know. You can let me go." Peter dropped his hand startled and I smiled at him genuinely, loving it to catch him like this. Not to mention the way I'm putting him on the spot like this.

I grinned. "Loosen up Pete. It'd do you some good." I said as I patted him on the shoulder. He rolled his eyes at me and gave me a small push, his hands on the small of my back. I snapped my fingers at him.

Suddenly the trees thinned out a bit and we found ourselves on a cliff. I quickened my pace and walked in front of Peter looking over the edge. I wasn't so sure how high we were but I knew that if we fell that we'd most likely be dead before we even reached the river beneath.

The water seemed wild and I felt Peter pull at the back of my dress. I turned to him but he wasn't looking anywhere close to me and as the other approached us I couldn't help but blush at the looks the others were giving us. Peter seemed immune to it and I felt ridiculous. Why should I be the only one bothered by this?

"Over hundreds of years, water eroded the earth's soil…" Susan began but Peter cut her off.

"Oh shut up. Is there a way down?" Peter asked and I looked over the edge again.

"You mean besides falling?" I wisecracked .Peter glared at him me and I exhaled loudly. His firm grip on my upper arm seemed to tighten. I was used to the butterflies his touch seemed to bring but we were getting used to touching awfully fast.

"There's a ford at Beruna. Any of you mind swimming?" Trumpkin replied and he beckoned us to follow him.

"Anything's better than walking." Susan sighed. We turned around and moved towards Trumpkin when suddenly Lucy's voice rang out.

"Aslan?" Lucy sounded surprised. "It‟s Aslan! It‟s Aslan over there! Well, can‟t you see? He‟s right…" All of us turned around, following her pointed finger, just to see nothing but the trees.

"Lucy there's nothing there." I pointed out. She turned around.

"It's… there." She trailed off and her face drooped.

"Do you see him now?" Trumpkin sounded sceptic. I wasn't so sure if I could blame him for that.

"I'm not crazy." Lucy exclaimed looking at us with accusation in her eyes. "He was right there; he wanted us to follow him."

"I‟m sure there are any number of lions in this wood. Just like that bear." Peter said righteously, he sounding patronizing and I nudged him in the elbow giving him a warning glare.

"I think I know Aslan when I see him." Lucy gave her brother an offended look. Peter sighed looking at the ground.

"Look, I'm not about to jump off a cliff after someone who doesn't exist." Trumpkin piped up and I couldn't agree more with him. He wasn't there. Besides why would only Lucy see him?

"The last time I didn't believe Lucy, I ended up looking pretty stupid." Edmund suddenly said and I turned to the reserved Pevensie. He was the one that talked less than everyone combined. I shot him a contemplating look. Whatever he meant, it was obvious it was meant for Susan and Peter.

"Why wouldn't I've seen him?" Peter questioned.

"I don't know." Lucy said. "Maybe you weren't looking."

"Sorry Lu." He apologized and he took a few steps further in to the woods and we all followed him as Edmund gave Lucy a sad smile. Lucy looked hurt and Edmund pulled her in front of him.

I quickened my pace trying to catch up with Susan who was right behind Peter. I grabbed her arm pulling her away from the group slightly. Her sharp blue eyes fell upon me and I saw hesitation in her eyes.

"Peter was harsher than necessary." I pointed out and Susan shrugged slightly.

"What else could he have done? Aslan wasn't there; you didn't see anything, right?" I shook my head when something suddenly dawned upon me.

"Maybe it was because I was there? Maybe it was just meant for all of you!" I suggested and Susan bit her lip in thought.

"I don't know Ana." Her voice was a whisper. "But whatever it was, I'm sure it wasn't you. Trumpkin was there as well. Remember." I nodded and we mingled ourselves with the others again.

"I hope we find this Prince Caspian soon." I said as I winced. "My feet are about to fall off." Susan laughed and nodded her head in agreement.

"Same goes for me. I don't know how long we'll be walking like this." I smiled at the younger girl and both of us continued walking. Grunting all the way.

^*^

It was quiet as we manoeuvred through the woods. The sounds of crickets racketing somewhere around us but as harmless as they were I knew that there were more harmful things in here. Just because we didn't stumble upon them didn't mean that they weren't there.

Lucy was quiet and didn't talk to anyone except Edmund who offered his assistant when needed. Susan had secluded herself from everyone and I knew that she was thinking we were lost. I thought we were lost. But we kept following Peter and Trumpkin. I sighed and for the millionth time I felt my feet give away due to the lack of coordination and I had grabbed Trumpkin's arm just to keep myself from falling. I released him as soon as possible after I mumbled an apology. He chose to not react and I felt a sense of alienation come over me.

As I ducked under a branch I felt the hem of my dress get tangled up in a bush full of thorns. I cursed under my breath, moaning with exasperation. This kept happening. I wasn't the only one, it happened to Lucy as well but she had Edmund who quickly untangled her dress for her. Susan didn't even have to since her dress seemed to glide over those bloody thorns since she was so _graceful_. I pulled with all my might but it did no good and in fear of ripping the dress I tugged it slightly again.

"Not again." I complained when I felt someone warm behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. It was obvious who it was.

Peter.

"Hold still." He mumbled, his voice so suave that I found myself nodding as his chest pressed into my side. He slowly untangled my dress as I watched his fingers do the work. I held in my breath when his scent washed over me. He told me to pull and I weakly tugged my dress away from the bush. I ignored his small laugh feeling ridiculous anyway.

He put his hand on my hip and the spot burned again. There were times I was less intoxicated by his presence but somehow, since I was already tired and practically drowning in fatigue, he was able to affect me more than usual. He pushed me to follow the others and I stumbled slightly, his arms already held out to catch me.

"I'm alright." I said quickly as he opened his mouth to say something. I looked in front of me and could see the back of Edmund's blue tunic which meant the others weren't too far away but they were far enough.

I wasn't so sure where the surge of courage came from, but I had this aching need. Just waiting to be satiated and I knew that I had this weak spot that made me succumb to it quickly. And that's exactly what I did. I gave in.

I turned around and pushed myself on my toes letting Peter's warm breath wash over me. I tried to be as quick as possible, not wanting to attract attention but I wasn't the only one in this game. I pressed my lips on his gently and pulled away just as quick as that impulse pushed me towards him. My lips were burning and so was I from the inside. But this was still so innocent. There was more to it. There was more for us.

I ignored his demanding eyes who seemed surprised by the display of affection but I couldn't be bothered less. I pulled away from his warmth and started walking again. Afraid if I stuck to close to him I would be intoxicated again. He was on my heels immediately though grabbing my elbow as he spun me on my heel. Shocked by whatever he was playing at I yelped. He didn't drop his hold on me, in fact it tightened and a surge of excitement went through me as I tried to anticipate his next move.

He was leaning in again and my eyes fluttered close in response. He was so close and I just wished he would stop the chase and just give in to the thing both of us seem to want so much. He didn't. The crunching of leaves made me snap my eyes open and I found myself looking into the deep eyes of Peter. His one hand was on my waist as the other went to the hilt of his sword. I gulped.

"Are you two going to keep up with us or not? We can't afford to lose…time." Edmund trailed off slowly suddenly seeing the compromising position Peter and I were in. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. I quickly stepped away from Peter and eyed the other Pevensie with wary eyes. How much could he have seen?

"S-sorry." Edmund stuttered, he turned a not so attractive colour red. "I didn't mean to interrupt." He brought out and he focused his eyes on the ground.

"You didn't interrupt anything Ed." Peter quickly said and I felt my frown burrow. I turned to him and he avoided my eyes carefully. So apparently it was nothing. Aggravation coursed through me but it joined with hurt and rejection. I gave Peter a harsh glare as I moved past Edmund, not sparing him another glance either.

"You're going the wrong way." I spun on my heel and walked into the other direction. So this is how it felt to be brushed off by a boy.

At least I knew how to sympathize with Cecelia now but I was perfectly content before thrown into the sympathizing demise that suddenly seemed to be present at mind. I knew that it was my fault to begin with. What did I want Peter to say instead? Whatever was going on between us was meant to be a secret of course he was going to brush off every subtle hint that made it obvious. What else was he supposed to do?

I sighed and moved towards Susan, Lucy and Trumpkin who seemed to waiting in a small clearing. Susan was sporting a look that made me realize that it would be hard to keep things from Susan. She was smart, smart enough to put two and two together. Lucy on the other hand was giving me a worried look and I smiled at her hoping that it would reassure her in some way.

Trumpkin however seemed grouchy. And with me and Peter wandering off, it didn't do any good. His eyes seemed to pierce a hole in me and I rounded on to him. I knew he didn't like me; he might as well get it out now. I was on a masochistic role, speak now or remain silence. I preferred the latter.

"I'm sorry. I got…got held up." I mumbled looking at Susan and she tilted her head to the side, contemplating the lie I fed her.

"You shouldn't wander off Ana. What if something had happened?" Susan pointed out and I shrugged.

"Peter was with me, don't worry." I assured her.

"Ah, _Peter_ was there Su." Lucy sniffed and I saw a mischievous smile on her face and I frowned at whatever was going through her head at that point.

"Don't let it happen again." Trumpkin grunted as Edmund and Peter appeared. I avoided his eyes.

"Peter-" Susan began but was held up when Peter rolled his eyes and held up his hand, motioning her to stop. She gave him a furious glare.

"Leave it Susan. I got the message." Lucy huffed and crossed her arms and turned around marching away as Trumpkin followed her. I swallowed away the lump when I felt eyes on me. I looked up and felt Edmund's eyes pierce my brown eyes. His dark eyes were unfathomable and hard to decipher. He pulled away before the gaze would be too hard to manage and he followed Trumpkin and his sister.

"Peter." Susan began again but Peter silenced her with a glare. Though I knew Susan. She wouldn't be silenced by her brother by just a glare and her eyes narrowed in blaze. "What do you think you will achieve with this?" She bristled.

I felt embarrassment course through me and I turned around, hoping I would be able to save myself from further questioning when suddenly a loud sound cut off every train of thought. I stopped in my tracks when suddenly a warm hand grabbed my elbow. I turned around to see Peter, he was holding on to my arm as he pulled me behind him.

"Stay here." He ordered. I narrowed my eyes at him and ignored his plea and followed him anyway.

"What was that?" Susan asked as Trumpkin, Lucy and Edmund were with us again. The sound echoed again and I felt my insides cringe. I didn't know what it was.

"I think I might know where it is coming from." Trumpkin answered and he pulled out his sword. Edmund and Peter did the same. Lucy grabbed my hand and we followed them in line, hunching our shoulders hoping we wouldn't get caught by whatever was out there.

As we crawled further through the bushes the source of the banging made itself known. There were people, soldiers, who were cutting trees. They were building a bridge.

"Now what do we do?" Susan asked and her hushed voice seemed far too loud.

"We should leave." Edmund added and suddenly an arrow whizzed past my head. Imbedding in the tree behind me. I paled grabbing Edmund's shoulder when more arrows followed.

"Perhaps this wasn't the best way to come after all." Lucy murmured.

"We need to stay low." Peter ordered. His sword out in the open now. "Ed, Su get the girls out of here." Edmund looked at Peter incredulously before nodding. Lucy grabbed my arm and we started to run.

My heart was pounding but somehow my mind was filled with thoughts. What was Peter doing? He was staying there? I pulled my hand out of Lucy's turning back. Edmund and Susan were still running and suddenly another arrow whizzed past me and I dove behind a tree.

Susan. Lucy. Edmund.

They weren't there anymore.

**_A/N: The ending is sorta abrupt but somehow I had to stop here! Anyway, leave me a message :)_**


	8. I Hope It's Lost In Translation

_**Disclaimer: Everything is the beautiful work of CS Lewis. I'm merely tapping into his characters for my own infatuation I seem to have with Peter Pevensie.**_

**_A/N: I know I said I wasn't going to update in a month and since I posted the last chapter after I told you guys that sorta showed that I wasn't going to uphold that promise. Some of you didn't seem to mind, hehe, but since I'm leaving in a day I thought to post this chapter today. I hope you guys will like it, it turned out differently than thought. But this time, the next chapter will be out after I get back. Which is three weeks. I hope you guys can wait that long. Anyway, enough yapping, here it is :) Enjoy:_**

**_P.S I updated my CSI Miami story This Way. If you're interested :) I also published a new Twilight Saga fic. An Imprint/OC story. Go check it out :)_**

_I Hope It's Lost In Translation_

The trees seemed to blur together as I tried to regain my wits whilst the panic was threatening to overwhelm me. I heard the crunching of footsteps as suddenly dark-haired men ran past me. Ignoring me fully. I wasn't so sure if I should feel relieved by it all. I put my hand on my mouth knowing that any sound would possibly bring their attention to me and I wanted to avoid that. I pushed myself back against the tree and I heard the harsh whispers of the men in a language I couldn't understand but all in all, the message was clear.

_Where were they?_

I moved my feet closer to the tree hoping I would be able to flatten myself against the tall brown tower that seemed to be my only chance when all hell broke loose. My foot may have broken a twig or something to attract attention and I had dropped my hand and gasped out loud. The twig they didn't seem to hear, me gasping was another story. There were two soldiers. Two. And their eyes turned to mine simultaneously. Everything froze for two seconds when both of them raised their swords at the same time.

They charged at me and I froze. Not able to do anything. I suppose this was why I wanted something to defend myself against. Or maybe it was a good thing because I knew I would hurt myself more than the others and the result would've been still the same. I closed my eyes hoping the blow would hurt less if I didn't know when it was coming.

Out of nowhere though I heard a cry of pain. My eyes snapped open and I saw Peter run him through right in front of my eyes. He pushed his sword right through the soldier's side and retracted it as the body fell limp. Blood dropping from the wound and his mouth. I felt my chest tighten and I couldn't make a sound. Dark glassy eyes peered into mine as suddenly they fell empty. He was dead. Peter didn't hesitate though and he had raised his sword again to strike the other one. I closed my eyes but it didn't drown out the sound.

Peter just killed two people.

"Ana? Ana! Can you hear me?" I opened my eyes to find Peter stare at me worriedly. There was blood on his shoulder and from the stain on his tunic it seemed like it was his own as the pool seemed to grow.

"Blood." I murmured. "You… a lot of blood." I felt his hands on my shoulders. They seemed so warm. I exhaled shakily.

"Ana, snap out of it." I glanced upwards.

"I never saw someone die before." My voice sounded not like my own and I leaned forward feeling nauseas. My forehead rested against his chest. I could smell the copper blood on his clothes as he seemed to be drenched in it.

"We need to go." He ordered and he pulled me away from the bodies around us and I wondered if their families would cry. Even though they attacked us first. I realized I wasn't really keeping up with Peter and he seemed to notice that as well as he tugged harder on my arm pushing me to keep up. I breathed loudly as my feet seemed to quicken their pace. The trees blurred again and I blindly followed Peter to wherever he was planning to take us.

Suddenly I heard the foreign tongue again and Peter pushed us behind another tree. His weight pinned me against the tree and suddenly everything dawned upon me. I felt a lump in my throat grow and my eyes filled up with tears. They spilled over immediately and I spluttered a sob. Peter's attention was on me. I knew he wanted me to be quiet and I put my hand on my mouth again muffling any sound that wanted to escape. I scrunched my eyes close and felt the tears run down my cheeks, down the hollow of my throat.

Peter pressed his forehead against mine as he grasped the one hand that was between our chests. He squeezed it gently as he shushed in my ear. The adrenaline seemed to leave my body and I felt shaky.

"Don't make a sound." Peter whispered. A silent plea in it. I could only nod and the warmth that seem to be on my chest pressed closer.

Peter seemed to listen carefully as every faux pas could lead to our deaths. I don't think I completely grasped that fact but when the sounds were moving away from us his muscles relaxed. He pulled away from me slightly his eyes glaring at me.

"What were you thinking Ana? Why weren't you with the others?" I blinked; it took me a while to understand what he was talking about.

"I-I…We got separated." I whispered and his hands were gripping my shoulders firmly, I wondered if it would leave a mark.

"Don't you understand? You could've gotten killed if I didn't get there in time." I swallowed the lump that rose in my throat as tears suddenly spilled over. I suddenly recognized the feeling that was churning uncomfortably in my stomach. It was embarrassment. I leant fully against the three as I listened to Peter's rant. I stopped listening and just focused on harshness of it all.

"Ana! Are you listening?" He shook my arm and I lost my footing, crashing into him with all my weight. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my face in the crook of his neck.

"You came." I murmured and after a while, when Peter got over his shock, he wrapped his arms around me. His hands rubbing circles on my back. Soothing me in a way I never thought he could.

Suddenly a thought crossed my mind again. Blood. Peter's blood. I pulled away with a gasp and eyed his right shoulder. I swallowed thickly, my mouth dry.

"You're bleeding." I whispered and I touched his shoulder gently wondering whether it hurt or not. If it did Peter didn't show anything and he grasped my cold hands in his.

"We need to find the others." Peter said firmly and he looked around us, as if the trees would give us signs which way to go.

"But how are we going to find them Pete?" I asked. "We're god knows where, not to mention those soldiers are still out there. If we get caught…" I trailed off slowly, scared of whatever the ending of that sentence could've been.

"Oh, now you're thinking?" Peter remarked and I narrowed my eyes at him. My emotions taking a different route. I crossed my arms and glared at the blond as he seemed to be thinking of a solution.

"We need to…" He murmured to himself and he suddenly grabbed me by my arm and pushed him in front of him.

"We need to?" I elaborated as he pushed me again, forcing me to walk. My feet were completely torn apart, or so it felt, yet I couldn't bear to complain. Somehow the current situation seemed worse than thought.

"The gorge." Peter said. "We need to go there." I nodded, remembering the height on which it stood.

"What about Trumpkin? Where is he?" I suddenly asked when the dwarf entered my mind.

"He was supposed to take the others to the gorge since _you_ got lost." I hated the edge in his voice. It was unnecessary and I already felt like an idiot. I couldn't defend myself here, I knew that, but to make me as little as possible wasn't really an option.

"No need to patronize me Peter. I know it was stupid, might as well drop it." I snapped. Peter grabbed my arm again and he spun me around till I was facing him. He was furious and his blue eyes were piercing through mine brown ones.

"Patronize you?" He brought out, he sounded like he was trying to restrain himself. "I think I'm entitled to since you were so bloody reckless to do something which was completely out of the question. I told you to follow Edmund yet you managed to get lost, not only risking your own life but mine as well. A thank you would've been enough but instead of telling me that, you're showing me attitude?" I looked at Peter blankly as he hissed all those words.

"You think I did that on purpose? It wasn't my intention to get lost." I responded, my voice turning up a notch as I poured my frustration on to him. "I don't know these woods like _you_ do."

"_Shut up_." Peter cut me off. "Stop victimizing yourself and then we'll talk about being patronizing or not." I snapped my mouth shut and glared at him. My eyes were burning with the amount of tears I had shed in the last hour and for the first time I suddenly realized how stupid I was.

Peter was allowed to be angry with me.

I looked at him through the corner of my eye and saw him pinch the bridge of his nose, he seemed aggravated, and he exhaled loudly. "Keep on walking Ana." He said blandly and I tried to let the coldness of his voice not affect me.

Easier said than done.

As Peter urged me to walk and I had no choice but to trust him blindly. And even though I was hurt by what he said, not regarding the fact it was true, I still worried about his shoulder. I observed him long enough to see that he was having a bit of trouble and even though he was far too arrogant to admit it, I wish he'd at least tell me. As we reached the familiar clearing we had passed a few hours ago I knew that it wouldn't be too long before we'd be with the others again. I just hoped that they didn't get in any kind of trouble.

"Ana, you're going the wrong way." Peter's voice rang in my ears and as I looked up I saw he was standing in between two trees. He beckoned me to follow him and I sighed, pulling at my dress and headed towards him. He was still standing there, waiting for me. I decided to walk past him when he suddenly grabbed my arm. I swear to God that his fingers have left imprints on my arms. I stopped walking and turned to him slowly.

"You know why I said it, don't you?" He asked and I shrugged. He sighed and somehow everything got lost in translation when he bended forward and kissed me. My eyes closed involuntarily and my mind couldn't form anything coherent. I was solely focused on the one thing that mattered right now. And that was his lips.

I think I sighed in the kiss as I stepped closer to him, our bodies pressing to each other. His hands were on my waist and my hands lay limply on his chest. His kiss felt brief, and it was. Suddenly I realized what he was doing and my eyes snapped open and I stepped away from him quickly.

"You can't do that." I hissed at him. He looked befuddled. I tried to ignore the confusion in his eyes and the emotion it called upon me.

"Do what?" I motioned to him, my arms flailing. I was acting like such an idiot.

"_That_." I hissed and Peter suddenly rolled his eyes. He crossed his arms and I glared at the silent mirth that shone in his eyes.

"I wasn't the only one participating Ana. If I recall, you didn't mind." He stated smugly and I huffed.

"Because you _surprised_ me." I defended myself and I realized my voice was getting squeaky. I cleared my throat and settled for glaring at Peter.

"If that's what you want to call it." Peter responded calmly and suddenly I was really upset. My eyes burned and I looked at Peter.

"I've had it." I brought out angrily. "You can't just go around and kiss people randomly. You can't just kiss _me!_" A tear spilled over and I brushed it away quickly. Peter's eyes softened.

"Alright, I won't do it anymore." I wasn't so sure whether I wanted that. "I'll ask for your consent next time." Now that was slightly better. "Are you alright with that?" I swallowed thickly looking at him with a hurt expression.

Didn't I matter at all? Was I only good for that? But the worst of all. Didn't_ I_ have any self respect, just because Peter happened to make me tingle, didn't mean he could have all of this power over me? It didn't feel right, not at all. And not because I didn't want Peter like that. I did, but somehow the timing didn't feel right. I looked at Peter and wanted to push him away from me. Hit him, do anything that made him hurt but I couldn't move.

"I'm not alright with that." I murmured. "I'm not." I repeated again with more strength in my voice. "I'm sorry that you seem to think so but I'm not like that and I do not want to give you the wrong idea."

"Ana, I didn't mean it like that." Peter interrupted as he grabbed my wrist.

"Really?" I snapped. "How did you mean it then? Because apparently we are not on the same track here."

"Ana, hear me out." Peter began and I pulled my wrist out of him. "Ana, could you stop behaving like a child? It's getting rather old" I fought the urge to stamp my foot but pushed him away from me instead. He stumbled backwards slightly, surprised by the display of anger.

"Bloody hell, what was that good for?" He exclaimed surprised.

"Do not act like a bloody moron, it doesn't suit you Pete." I hissed and with that both of us continued the journey to the gorge again. Both of us angry, hungry and aggravated with each other more than usual.

**_A/N: Lame ending, ah well *shrugs* I hope you guys will leave me a review. My muse welcomes them with open arms :D_**

**_P.S Thank you guys for all the alerts ;)_**


	9. In Which An Impasse Is Introduced

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine! **_

**_A/N: So sorry for the long wait, but I completely forgot about this fic. But I'm back, with new ideas, and quicker updates of course. Thank you Mairenn for pushing me to update. I didn't realize I was neglecting all of my readers, so sorry about that! Anyway, Merry Christmas and happy holidays. I'll update in a few days but till then enjoy :)_**

_In Which An __Impasse Is Introduced_

"Thank Aslan!" Susan murmured the second she saw us. She ran towards Peter and wrapped her arms around him. Peter patted her on her back before pushing her backwards.

"We don't have much time." He said and Susan grabbed my hand. I smiled weakly as she looked me over with a frantic look in her eyes.

"Are you alright? You look horrible." I shrugged as she pushed away strands of hair, like a mother stroking her child's face. She didn't push me to say something yet stayed with me and it was more than I could ask for. I grasped the brunette's hand and I saw Peter and Edmund look over. Peter less subtle as Edmund.

"Where do you think you saw Aslan, Lu?" Peter asked Lucy and Susan and I walked towards them. Lucy straightened her shoulders and glared at Peter.

"I wish you'd all stop acting like grown-ups." Lucy snapped. "I didn't think I saw him, I did see him." She finished and I saw Trumpkin shift uncomfortably.

"I am a grown up." And I saw Lucy look at him as if it were an insignificant detail. It brought a small smile to my face. Just something little that made my heart flutter in amusement. It only lasted for a split second but at least it was something. I moved towards Lucy realizing she was starting to grow red of the frustration no one believed her.

"Where did you see-" I couldn't even finish my sentence when the ground beneath Lucy collapsed. A loud shriek escaped her mouth and everyone watched in silent horror before they moved. I could hear the hard thumps in my ear as the shock washed over me and I realized that Lucy had fallen off the cliff.

"LUCY!" Susan's scream was painful and I stumbled forwards. Suddenly we heard a small voice. A voice that resembled Lucy's

"Here." She mumbled and I saw Peter and Edmund storm over to the part that had collapsed. Underneath, it showed a steep and narrow path going slantwise down into the gorge. Lucy's eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she moved closer to the wall of the cliff. She was only a few feet below us.

"Lucy." Peter breathed out in relief.

"I'm alright." She said quickly as she held out her hand and Peter lifted her back. His arms going around her in a split second, holding her close to her. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and grabbed Edmund's sleeve. I held on to it and peered into the abyss. If Lucy would've fallen, she wouldn't have survived the fall. The strong current of the river beneath would've taken her and we couldn't have done a thing.

"Pete!" Edmund said, attracting his older brother's attention. Peter let go of Lucy and Susan held the small girl close to her.

"We can cross the river if we go down this path." Edmund said and I scrunched my eyes close. Not even wanting to hear the answer to that question.

I was getting tired.

^*^

I took careful steps. My hands tracing the wall as I kept my eyes solely on the ground below, at least I wouldn't fall. Everyone else was way ahead of me and the only one, who was close, was Edmund. Even though he glanced backwards to make sure I met their pace he kept his distance from me and maybe that was a good thing. I felt like I was on my last nerve anyways. Knowing how I react at times like this it was a good thing he stayed away from me. I was going to snap at him anyways.

As we slowly got levelled with solid ground I let out a shaky breath I was holding in for so long. We were able to cross the river now. There were rocks and I saw Lucy at the front crossing it with Trumpkin's help.

"Need help?" I turned to the voice and shook my head.

"No thanks Ed. I'm fine." He nodded and took it upon himself to help Susan. Peter was now behind me. I tried ignoring him but I was far too aware of his presence behind me. As I followed Edmund and Susan on the flat rocks I felt a hand grab my elbow and in the slight shock that came over me I jerked back my arm. Only resulting into a loud splash of the person behind me.

I bit my lip as I watched the scene in front of me. Here he was. The oh so mighty Peter Pevensie knee deep in the water with a frown colouring his handsome features.

"Sorry." I squeaked and I coughed before continuing. "You scared me."

"Apparently." He gritted out as I heard the others laugh.

"Just what I needed." He mumbled and I held out my hand. He looked at it and I dropped it.

"Suit yourself" It felt nice not to be the laughingstock for once.

"You surely must've enjoyed that?" Peter asked sarcastically and I rolled my eyes before I turned around.

"For your kind information. Yes, yes I did. Now can we go on? I rather not end up like you." I turned around again and jumped to the other side. Now my feet were on solid ground again and I smiled smugly at Peter who pushed up the sleeves of his tunic.

"Right, so let's go on, shall we?" He looked at me and I silently gave Susan a look, who bit her own lip to keep in the laughter that bubbled on the outside.

"Girls." Peter muttered before moving past me and that was when Susan and I lost it.

At least I got rid of the bottled up emotions with laughing. Rather that than crying.

^*^

The heat that the fire radiated was pleasant. It warmed up the chilly air around us and I wasn't the only one who felt like this. Lucy and Edmund were sitting close to me while Trumpkin was on the other side, engaged in something private I presumed because he didn't look at us once.

"Ana." Lucy mused and I looked up. "What is going on between you and my brother?" I blinked. She most certainly didn't beat around the bush. I felt my cheeks redden and I swallowed.

"W-well. I-I." I spluttered and Lucy gave Edmund a sharp look.

"Does that mean there is something?" I shook my head. Was there something between us? Sure we've kissed but these days a kiss is equal to nothing. Maybe it meant the same to Peter?

"Well, no not really."

"I don't think Peter sees it that way." Edmund remarked slyly and I fought the urge to hide.

"Right, well. Sure." I stumbled with words just as often as I fell and I couldn't help but want to hide behind the trees.

"I think he likes you very much." Lucy continued. I blushed, I wasn't sure what Peter's intentions were but I nor was I sure of mine.

"Apparently the feeling is mutual Lu." Edmund pointed out and I ignored his smirk.

"Oh shut up." I snapped and I got up.

"Don't wander off too far." Edmund yelled and I glared at him before I moved closer to the water where Peter and Susan were. Susan was forcing Peter to take care of his wound but he was acting like a big baby.

"Su! You don't _have_ to be relentless." Susan shrugged.

"Stop being such a baby. You should've taken care of this hours ago." I smiled at them when Susan suddenly dropped the cloth in her hand. "I give up. I simply can't do it." She suddenly looked in my direction and I felt caught. "Ana, why don't you try?" And with that she got up leaving me with Peter.

So we were alone again.

I sighed and moved towards. Peter was more interested in his shoulder than me and that calmed me down somewhat. I kneeled in front of Peter and pulled the slightly bloodied cloth out of his hands, tending his shoulder myself.

"You don't have to do this!" I shrugged, choosing not to answer. He sighed and stopped complaining. While I carefully tried to rub off the blood he didn't say a thing. Not even exclaiming it hurt, like with Susan. But the only indication I got was that he held in his breath when I was a bit too harsh. I felt his eyes on me the whole time.

I suppose it made me anxious.

"I think this will do." I finally said. It felt like I was here an eternity.

"Thank you." He said and I looked at my hands.

"You're welcome." I got up and made my way past him when he grabbed my wrist, pulling me back towards him again. I let him do that and tried to ignore the fluttering that appeared in my stomach.

As I peered into his eyes he pulled me down and pressed his lips to mine quickly. Far too befuddled to protest I let him and I was soon engulfed in this warm cocoon where only Peter and I mattered. His lips, warm and gentle, moved with mine expertly. As if he knew what to do to make my insides tingle. Not to mention that I was probably glowing into the kiss anyways.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, carefully avoiding his wounded shoulder, and his hands settled on my waist. Maybe this time, he would kiss me properly. I pressed myself closer to him and forced him to deepen the kiss and I got that when I felt the tip of tongue run over my lower lip, asking for permission.

I just wished I remembered that there were also other people present. Even though they couldn't hear us, they could see us.

When that thought ran through my head I gasped and pushed Peter away. My hand colliding with his wounded shoulder. He hissed in pain and I started to apologize immediately.

"Sorry, sorry." I mumbled in a frenzy as he groaned in pain. I grabbed his head forcing him to look at me.

"I'm so sorry. I just got startled." He rolled his eyes but nodded anyways.

"Don't worry about it." Embarrassment washed over me and I nodded.

"Alright." I mumbled. I sighed.

"I suppose we should get some sleep. Tomorrow is probably going to be a long day." He nodded and got up and I followed suit. He grabbed my hand in his, which surprised me, and pulled me towards the others.

So maybe this wasn't as platonic as I thought it would be, maybe it meant more to him than I thought it would. And maybe I underestimated him, because even Peter Pevensie is capable of doing things that can shock people. No matter who it involves.

I sighed.

"They think you like me." I confessed as we walked towards the fire. Peter turned to me with a frown colouring his face. His blue eyes were piercing in the dark.

"Who?" I nudged my head towards his siblings. He rolled his eyes.

"I see."

"Is it true?" I dared. I knew this was a pretty tricky question, in our case I was afraid Peter wouldn't be honest towards me or himself, for that matter. But it was burning a hole in my brain so I let it slip.

He looked at me.

"What do you think?" I smiled. Was he leaving it all up to me?

"I don't know what I think." I bit my lip and took a deep breath.

"We'll see…" I said and he nodded. His eyes were focused on the road ahead of us.

"We'll see." He repeated.

So maybe this was easier than thought, but we had reached an impasse and I think I hated it more than the insecurity I felt before.

**_A/N: Shorter than I wanted it to be, ah well. Hope you guys liked it and please review :) They're my muse :D_**


	10. A Painting Of A City On A Hotel Wall

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**_

**_A/N: Sorry for the delay, but my pc crashed and I lost everything. Thank God, I had posted everything, except for chapter 10. But I had this new plot bunny so I didn't mind rewriting it all. Because ladies and gentlemen, there is a new twist. I surprised myself with it, because I was thinking about how to spice up this story and I came with this new idea that I really enjoyed. Now I hope I can write out the idea properly. Anyway, this time you don't have to wait for another update because I'm sick and I wrote this chapter in an hour or two and I'm finishing, or at least starting the next one right away. I'm bored anyways. I hope you guys will like it and I hope you will review and make my day :) I know I got the most loyal reviewers every. _**

**_P.S Read the story Halcyon Days: The Tale Of Rennie by Mairenn. Not only is it a brilliant story, she is a magnifcent author as well. Go check it out!_**

_**A Painting Of A City On A Hotel Wall**_

The only thing I heard that night was the soft breathing of the Pevensies and Trumpkin. We all lay around the fire trying to catch some sleep before we continued our journey to find Caspian. Prince Caspian. He was the one we needed right now. But unlike the others sleep didn't come as naturally that night to me and I kept moving, disturbing others frequently. Trumpkin had snapped at me a few times because he woke up because of the noise I was supposedly making. I wasn't doing much, just tossing and turning, but it was enough to annoy him. And since Trumpkin wasn't too fond of me anyways, I might as well try not to provoke him.

As I turned for the last time I heard someone groan. I bit my lip and could hit myself for annoying everyone else, just because I had trouble sleeping, didn't mean that the others had. I felt a hand on my waist and I turned around shocked. Peter's blue eyes were just as beautiful as usual, even though it was dark. I sighed.

"You scared me." He mumbled an apology and I sat up. "What is it?"

"You're keeping everyone else up." He pointed out and I grimaced.

"Sorry about that. Go back to sleep, I won't do a thing." Peter looked at me with his slightly tousled hair and nodded after a while. Before I knew it he bended forward and pecked me on the forehead. As he moved back to his spot I smiled shyly. He had never done something this affectionate with me and it felt nice. As I followed his example and lay down on my back I couldn't help but wonder.

What if I never got pulled into Narnia with the Pevensies, would Peter be interested in me when he came back? I suppose not, after all, the fascination or infatuation, whatever you like to call it, started when we were in Narnia. But my fascination with him was way before that. I remember how Cecelia used to gush about him and I would listen with only one ear because I was more caught up in my own observations about him.

I sighed and got up again. "Pete!" I whispered in the dark and I saw Peter's silhouette. "Are you awake?"

"I am now!" He pointed out and despite everything I couldn't help but smile. I crawled my way towards him and lay down on my side next to him. He turned and his hand found its way on my waist. His thumb circling a pattern on my hipbone. I bit my lip, trying to remember why I was here again.

"Pete." I began slowly. My voice a hushed whisper. I looked at him. "Do you think we would..." I trailed off. How do you say something like this properly?

"We would what?"

"We would've..." I began slowly. "Happened? If we were still in England." Peter frowned.

"Why you ask?" I shrugged.

"Just wondering."

"It seems to me you are over thinking it all Ana." He said slowly and I lowered my eyes. Even though it was dark I was fully aware of Peter's eyes on me.

I heard someone groan. Oh dear.

"Don't want to disturb your little heart to heart but there are people who would like to sleep." Edmund's voice was groggy but it was clear he wasn't amused at all. "You mind shutting up?" I bit my lip and looked at Peter who was glaring at Edmund's back and I rolled my eyes. His eyes slowly turned to me again and he opened his mouth.

"Go to sleep, love." I smiled at the term of endearment. I nodded and closed my eyes. I felt him brush a strand of hair from my face. "And the answer is no." He said slowly. I snapped my eyes open. "I don't think we would've happened if you hadn't come with us, but since we are here. There is no need to be concerned about that. After all, we did 'happen'." I swallowed the strange numbness that appeared and my stomach was in knots.

No. We wouldn't have happened if I wasn't with them but for him to say that, so directly, was painful and I tried to ignore the sharp sting that was stabbing its way in my chest.

"Goodnight." He whispered and after a while his breathing evened out and I knew he was asleep. I turned my back to him and watched the fire die out. Sleep wouldn't come to me now anyways, especially since Peter gave me something to ponder about.

Even though there was this sincerity in his voice when he told me his answer I couldn't help but feel hurt. I knew that this was only because I was used to these feelings I had for Peter which were much more mellow back in England. Going back to those mellow feelings would be unthinkable for me and since Peter didn't really know me back then, I couldn't demand from him to be interested in me.

And still, it hurt. Even though I was aware of the story behind it. It hurt. And I suppose the feeling of losing something was frightening me more than it should. Because after all, the only thing I gained from the second I arrived in Narnia were Peter's affections, nothing more, nothing less. Losing those would be something like losing Narnia in my own way. But I doubted that was going to happen. After all, we were here. We were in our own way together, we were alright.

I might as well stop this overanalysing because I knew it was going to confuse me even more.

"Goodnight." I murmured to the dark and in response Peter's arm around my waist tightened and I closed my eyes. This time letting sleep consume me.

^*^

The next morning I was up before everyone else. Or at least, that is what I thought. As I wiggled my way out of Peter's tight grip I saw that one of the Pevensies were missing. Lucy. As I peered around us, watching the woods I saw the crimson fabric of Lucy's dress. I wasn't sure what she was doing but for her sake I got up and followed her.

Following Lucy was more difficult than I thought it was because it didn't matter how hard I called out her name, she didn't hear me at all. I quickened my pace but it didn't matter, because I couldn't see the crimson of her dress anyways. I stopped walking and turned around, my eyes looking for the path I came from. There was one problem though, I didn't know where the path was. I must've gotten off it when I was following Lucy. I groaned in exasperation and slight panic.

Here I was, somewhere in the woods, with no bloody clue where the others were and how I was could get back. The panic that had risen was now running in overdrive, making my heart flutter in a way which wasn't healthy. As I tried to concentrate on my breathings so I could focus on the thing that was most important. Getting back to the others, or hope they'd find me. But I doubted they would be up right now.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." I muttered aggravated. How could I be so stupid, I should've waken up the others to tell them that Lucy was gone instead of trying to do something like this on my own. I sniffed and took a shuddering breath.

"Alright Ana. Think." _Think._ What would the others do in such a situation?

I knew that sticking here wasn't such a good idea. Because we weren't the only ones in this forest, there were other creatures as well and with nothing to protect myself I had no other choice but to start walking in what I thought was the right direction. The shame of my stupidity however was fairly dominant and I wasn't so sure of what to do with it. It was certain though, it dominated my every move and step.

As I moved and stepped over the roots of the trees that seemed to have a personal mission to make me fall I heard noises. Noises I hadn't heard in a very, very long time. It were the kind of noises that assured me that civilisation was near and I blindly made my way towards the noise. I should've thought about this myself, but somehow common sense was absent and I followed the noise like a bee making its way for honey.

I just don't understand that I didn't think by myself that the sounds of cars in Narnia was unlikely and hardly even possible but I was so happy to hear it that I forgot that I was in a place where the word technology didn't exist. I pushed away branches, ignored the few blinding rays of sun that struck my vision and solely made my way to the sound of civilisation.

As I reached a small clearing and the only thing I saw was this big mirror I felt disappointed. I walked closer to the familiar piece though, wondering how it came here. I sighed as a wave of missing washed over me, drowning me in its homesickness that I seemed to miss the fact that I couldn't see my reflection in the mirror. Instead I saw something else.

London.

I could see cars drive by as they honked before disappearing because the frame wasn't big enough. I could see the houses and the usual grey sky that seemed to pour down rain. The rain that was so normal in England. I smiled and took another step closer putting my hand to the glass. I knew that this must've been an hallucination. Maybe I was still asleep and dreaming all of this, but somehow everything felt far too real to be surreal so I took a leap and the second my palm was supposed to touch cold glass I felt this lightness in my head. It spread like a disease and I felt it lift my feet.

This feeling was new, it was indescribable but the impact it had on my body and equilibrium was astounding. Because one second I was still in the woods in Narnia and the next I was standing at Park Lane in London. The buzz of the city that seemed to go on as if it didn't know that someone had just appeared out of thin air and landed right in the middle of the street. Cars rushed by me but I was far too befuddled that I ignored the honks and the yells. "Oye lady, watch where you're going!"

I was back. I was back home.

Only this time, I was alone. Or should I say. I was alone. _Again_.

As I finally realized I was standing at fairly dangerous ground I forced my feet to move. I ignored the looks people were giving me from a distance. I knew what they were thinking. What is she doing? I looked down and suddenly realized I wasn't in my Narnian dress anymore. Instead I was wearing a simple black dress with a red coat. My hair was longer and I suddenly realized that it was raining. Pouring dogs actually and I was close to getting soaked. I looked around and moved for the sidewalk. I ignored the honks that I got used to and it felt good to wear my Mary Jane's again.

I took a deep breath.

So I was back again. Now what? I saw everyone with their black umbrella's and I knew I stood out for just standing in the rain but I felt so disorientated. Happy, but so disorientated. I wasn't so sure what to think of it. However, I was sure that this wasn't such a good thing. If I was back, where were the Pevensies? Shouldn't they be back as well? And if they were back, where were they?

"My dear, get out of the rain." I heard an old lady say and I turned around to see her shuffle towards me with her umbrella. "You'll catch a cold. Come here." She ordered me and I made my way towards her.

"Thank you." I said breathily and I realized I felt like a lunatic.

"What were you doing in the rain, my dear?" I shrugged. How could I answer that? I brushed away the thick mop of hair that bothered my face and looked around.

"E-excuse me for asking, but w-what's the date?" The old lady looked at me concerned. Her icy blue eyes widening as she looked me up and down.

"It's October fourth. Are you certain you are alright?" I swallowed. It was July when I left. I swallowed. Should I ask what year it was?

"Yes, yes. I'm absolutely fine." I assured her. "B-but what year is it, again?" She blinked at me.

"Well 1946 of course." I stiffened. 1946. That wasn't possible. It was supposed to be 1942. How could four years have passed that quickly? I stumbled and I felt an arm on my elbow to steady me. "My God, you look like you've seen a ghost." I took an airy breath and moved to the wall, finding my equilibrium there.

"Please." I said shakily. "I am alright. I just realized, I have to do something important." I made up an excuse and she gave me a funny look. I carefully moved away from her, into the crowd and as I felt other people bump into me, mumble their apologies, I couldn't help but feel lost.

Four years had passed and now I'm back. Whereas I couldn't have been gone for only a week. One week, four years. I couldn't discover the link between the two of them. My legs were still shaky but less chaotic than my mind. I stared at the post office building and suddenly saw a mop of blonde hair that seemed a bit too familiar. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but since I could still see it I knew it that it was real.

"Peter." I whispered and I took off behind him.

**_A/N: I hope you guys liked it :) Please review :) The next update will be faster. I swear :D_**


	11. Through The Crowded Streets

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! **_

**_A/N: A quick update! Yay, thank you for all the reviews and alerts :) I'm glad people seem to enjoy this story :) I know that the sudden twist in the last chapter confused some people but stick around :) Things will clear up slowly, and later on you will be; "Oh I knew that!" But till then, please stick around and review. I love hearing from all of you, no matter how short the message is :) Just let me know. Reviews stimulate quick updates, so shoo, review :D Here is the chapter and enjoy, next update will be after a while, I got a lot of exams heading my way and they are really important :) Enjoy though:_**

**_P.S: I want to change my summary and I was wondering if some of you can help :) Think of a summary, take in account the recent happenings, and the one I like best will be used. Of course I will credit the person whose summary I like best :D _**

_**Through The Crowded Streets Into The Fading Grey**_

I wasn't sure what I was thinking. All I knew was that I saw a familiar face and I had to cling to that. The rest is history. I knew I was running, not only colliding into people, but also aggravating others as I rushed past them. I didn't want to know how blue my shoulder was after the umpteenth I bumped into someone. Peter on the other hand, still hadn't heard me call out his name. Although he had crossed the street and was now on the other side, he still stayed oblivious. Wished the people around us could be that way. Those dirty looks they gave me made me even more anxious. I quickly glanced at the road before I crossed it.

"Peter!" I yelled again and this time he heard me. He turned around and our eyes met. Only, this wasn't the Peter I had left behind. I frowned. He seemed older. His attire was different of course, but so was mine. Though, that wasn't the part that bothered me the most. It was how he looked at me. Like he saw me for the first time. I didn't like that look.

Suddenly I heard a honk and I turned my head just to see a car heading towards me. Far too shocked to react I closed my eyes and waited for the impact of steel hitting flesh. I knew this was going to hurt and that scared me. I heard the screeching of the brakes, the shrieks of people watching from the sidelines.

"Oof!" The breath was knocked out of me as a heavy weight pushed me out of harm's way. My head was knocked hard on to the concrete as the heavy weight covered me, or should I say, smothered me.

For a split second it was quite around me. The only thing I could hear was the deep breathing of the person on top of me, but I was also aware of the fact that my heart was smashing its way through my chest. Painfully so. My head was pounding, throbbing and I knew that I was bleeding because I felt dizzy, but not just because of the injury. Also because that person on top of me was none other than Peter. I recognized his scent. It was still the same.

"Ma'am?" The weight was off me and now I could hear the panicky screams. "Ma'am?"

"She came out of nowhere." I heard a scratchy voice say. "Lucky for her, you where there in time." I assumed it was the driver. I took a shuddering breath and tried to open my eyes but the rain was still coming down and raindrops filled my eyes, mingling with my own tears.

"She is coming to." I fluttered my eyes again and it made my head hurt more. I groaned and opened my eyes, ignoring the blinding sensation it shot through my brain. The first thing I saw was the grey sky. The next was someone bending over me. I closed my eyes again, it was really painful.

"Ma'am. Can you hear me?" I groaned in response. "She's responding." This voice was familiar. In some ways or another but it had changed a lot though. Deeper, more mature.

"Peter?" I whispered. I opened my eyes again, this time with less difficulty and I was confronted with confusion. Confusion that swam in Peter's eyes.

"Who are you?" He demanded and I blinked hurt. Did he just ask what I thought he did? "How do you know my name?"

"You don't remember me?" I asked in a small voice and Peter shook his head fervently. Harshness radiated off him and I felt hurt wash over me. I couldn't believe this. I put my hands on the ground and tried to get upright.

"You shouldn't get up yet." I shook my head. I ignored the little crowd that had formed around the scene, I had only one wish right now, and that was to disappear.

"Let me go." I said firmly and tried to pull away from the warm hand on my arm. I brought myself back on my shaky legs and tried to find some stability by putting my hands on the hood of the car that would've hit me if it weren't for Peter.

I felt tears spill over mingle with the raindrops that were still coming down with the same vengeance as before and stumbled. My knees hit the concrete with a painful thud that seemed to echo in my head. A warm arm nestled itself around my waist, right below my breasts and it hauled me back on my feet. Only this time, I wasn't holding up my weight. Someone else was.

"You need to go to a hospital." Peter's voice sounded so formal and distant that it only stimulated my tears and I couldn't help but feel more lost than ever. I was home but not in the way I wanted to be home. This wasn't the home I had left behind.

"I'm fine." I replied, my voice sounded hollow. "It's just a bump on the head." I felt Peter lead me to a bench and he seated me down, crouching in front of me. He was just as wet as I was. His blonde hair clung to his forehead and his heavy eyebrows stood furrowed. His piercing blue eyes peering into mine. I knew he was trying to make out what to do with me. He was giving me the same calculating look when he saw me on the beach in Narnia. I raised my hands and touched his cheek carefully. There was an apparent stubble there which indicated he was older because the eighteen year old Peter I knew didn't have that much of a stubble. I remember my aunt telling me that blonde people had different kind of beard growth. I always laughed at that.

If four years had passed it meant he was twenty-two, which meant I was twenty-one. I didn't feel twenty-one though. Peter grabbed my hand in his and I was forced to pull away from his cheek.

"Let me ask again. Who are you? How do you know me?" I swallowed. He was still the same in a way. Rude but straight to the point. I wondered how I was going to say this. I had trouble finding my tongue the first time I saw Peter let alone doing this again.

"I'm Ana." I said and waited for his reaction. He surely cannot have forgotten about my name? Could he? But nothing came. His face, blank as ever, didn't change. He was still glaring at me and I felt another rush of tears. "Oh God." I sniffed putting the back of my hand against my nose after taking a deep shuddering breath. I put both of my hands on either side of me. "You don't remember me."

"Should I?" I nodded my head. "How?" I blinked, thinking. How could he possibly remember me besides Narnia?

That's it. Narnia.

"Narnia!" I whispered and I dared to look at him. His eyes now widened in recognition and I wondered if I hit the bull's-eye. He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him. I felt dizzy in his arms.

"How do you know about Narnia?" He demanded. There was this new desperation in his voice and I felt like we were finally making progress.

"Because, I just came back from Narnia." I explained hurriedly. "I was there with you, Susan, Lucy and Edmund. And of course Trumpkin. We were looking for Prince Caspian." Peter's eyes were shifting from my face to the places surrounding us.

"That was four years ago and I can't seem to remember you." He said with a firm voice, although I recognized the doubt. But there was something else as well, some kind of sarcasm. "You weren't there." He said. "Because if you were I _would've_ remembered you." His voice was getting louder and harsher.

"But I _was _there." I insisted, I just got back from Narnia.

"You're lying." He gritted out. "Now tell me, how do you know about Narnia?" I blinked feeling confused. I just told him, why didn't he believe me?

"I just told you. Because I was there." I urged. "You have to believe me Peter. Please." My voice was softer now and I felt despair make it through the shock. I was finally realizing that we had reached a problem. Something I might not be able to fix. His hands were gripping my arms tightly and I felt the slight sting now.

"You're hurting me." I said softly. He let me go in a jolt and he pinched the bridge of his nose, visibly distressed.

"I am sorry. I did not mean to." He said. I felt the distance in his words and it pulled on my heartstrings that were weakening in his presence.

I put my hand on my head as a certain lightness fogged up my mind. I felt my body sag forward. My chin hitting Peter's shoulder. His hand went to my shoulders and this time he put some distance between us more gently. The warm that seemed to seep through the fabric of my clothes was only because Peter seemed to have this effect on me, at least that hadn't changed. I sighed deeply as fatigue was present and I felt the adrenaline and energy leave me.

"You need to go to a hospital." He said again and I shook my head fervently, although that wasn't such a good idea.

"No." I protested. "No please, I just need some sleep." I told him. He pressed his lips together and shook his head.

"You might have a concussion, sleep is out of the question." Peter pointed out and I smiled drowsily. Even as an adolescent he was handsome but now, as a young adult he was even more so. His sharp jaw always fascinated me and now was no difference.

"Lucy's cordial would come in handy right now, wouldn't it?" The surprise on his face was priceless.

"How do you know about her cordial?" I huffed, was he still pretending I didn't know a thing?

"I told you." I reminded him again and this time I lay my head on his shoulder, not caring I didn't have his consent or the fact we were in a public place. "I was in Narnia with you." I was glad he didn't push me away like I expected him to, not most men let a supposedly stranger lean against their shoulders. "Don't worry." I whispered now and I enjoyed the sound of his heart that seemed to reverberate and echo in my ear. "We will find a way to make you remember. Maybe Aslan will know."

"Aslan." Peter's voice now matched mine. A soft whisper that couldn't be heard by anyone but us. After all, the soft rain in the background made sure of that. I put my hand on his chest taking a deep breath, the edges were blurry.

"You know Aslan?" He asked me and I shook my head. His arm was around my waist now and the other was holding my hand against his chest.

"I think he knows me." I said and I closed my eyes, my blurry vision making it hard to make out things. Peter's voice wasn't coming through anymore and I let myself succumb to the sleep. Even though I distinctively remember him telling me that sleeping with a concussion isn't such a good idea I couldn't help it. My mental state was more dominant than my emotional one and it was so easy to let myself be lead.

"Do you have any family?" He shook me awake and I blinked rapidly. He put his hand on my head gently. "Don't fall asleep."

"I don't know." I mumbled and he put some distance between us. I felt the loss immediately. "Apparently I haven't been here in four years Peter. I don't know." I said and he frowned, obviously in conflict. "I need to go back Peter."

"You can't go back." He said and I heard the pain in his voice. "It's not up to you to decide to go back. You must be here for a reason." I laughed dryly, all of it was pretend.

"This cannot be happening." I sniffed. "I wanted to come back but not to a place I don't recognize. How can four years go by? Didn't anyone miss me? " I said honestly and I felt the pity in his eyes. "Don't look at me like that."

"Let's handle the problems one at a time." He said firmly. He was making a decision now and I knew I was going to go with it no matter what. "First stop, hospital and I do not want to hear any excuses." I closed my eyes and he pulled me up from the bench. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I leant against him heavily.

"What was your name again?" I smiled watery.

"Ana." I mumbled. "Ana Deloria."

"Ana." He said, tasting my name on his tongue. "Pleasure meeting you, although I wished the circumstances weren't as serious as they are now." I chuckled and grasped his coat.

"Trust me, this isn't the first time." I looked up into his eyes and he gave me a smile. One that seemed different because I never saw it before. "Thank you, I hadn't expected you to jump in front of a car for me." I mumbled. I knew he knew what I meant.

"Anytime." Peter said. "Just don't make it a habit." I took a deep breath as a sense of déjà vu washed over me. I wondered if he felt it too.

"Wasn't my intention." I replied and he squeezed my arm in response.

**_A/N: Someone recognized something from one of the previous chapters? Please review :) _**


	12. Where Even Strangers Make More Sense

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**_

**_A/N: Sorry for the long wait. School was a hassle hence the delay. Thank you for the reviews. I'm glad the change is being regarded in a positive way :D It makes me very happy, especially if I read all those great reviews :D So here is the next chapter, and I hope you guys will review and make me even more happy :D_**

_**Where Even Strangers Make More Sense**_

After the doctor had established that I had a concussion and I should stay up for at least eight hours, there was only one thing left to do. Find out where my family was. When I left the platform that day because I got pulled into Narnia the war was still going on. Apparently the war had been over for over a year now. That meant, that my dad must've been back from the war. As Peter suggested phoning them first to check whether they still lived in the same place I felt this strange churning in the pit of my stomach. What if they weren't there anymore? Peter assured me I shouldn't assume anything without finding out. I went with that. As Peter waited outside the phone booth I dialled my aunt's number. Peter gave me an assuring smile that offered some comfort.

"Hello?"

"Aunt Maya?" I whispered and I heard a gasp on the other side.

"Ana?" I nodded but then realized she couldn't see me so I forced myself to answer but my voice wasn't cooperating.

"Y-yes." I stumbled over my words. At least I knew that they were still there. "It's me."

"Who is this? I swear to God if I find out who made this call I will personally come over and slap you so hard that you will feel it throb for the next ten years." The viciousness in her voice startled me.

"B-but."

"N-no buts. Ana has been dead for four years now. You should be ashamed of yourself, tainting my girl's memory like this." She hung up after that and I couldn't feel my limp hands. I was dead? For four years. I tried putting two and two together. That could only mean that I died when I went to Narnia. I felt a strong gust of cold wind as the door of the phone opened behind me. A warm hand clasped itself around my cold one and pulled the phone out of my hand.

"And? Any luck?"Peter asked.

"I'm dead." I murmured numbly as Peter pulled me out of the phone booth. "How can I be dead?" I felt my heart tear and I pulled away from the warmth that Peter provided. I took shaky breaths but the panic was too much and I felt my walls crumble. "T-this can't be happening." I sobbed and put my hands in front of my face, before I felt warm arms embrace me.

Peter's soft hushed voice whispered in my ear but I couldn't decipher the meanings. After all, I was dead. Something I couldn't understand. I can't be dead. I am not dead. I'm here aren't I?

When I calmed down somewhat Peter pulled away and I couldn't help but notice that he always put some distance between us so it wouldn't get too personal. I felt his thumb wipe away tears that strayed and held on to his arms. To the outside world it would look like a normal scene. A couple comforting each other but we knew better. Because to Peter I was nothing more than a stranger who happened to be closer to him than he to her.

I was glad that the hostile demeanour was leaving Peter and it was making room for the Peter I liked. The warm and affectionate Peter. The Peter that knew more about women than let on. The Peter that was Lucy's big brother and wasn't afraid to show sibling affection.

"Feeling better?" He asked and I slowly nodded. He let go of my face, forcing me to drop my hands from his arms. I looked up into his eyes that sympathized with me more than ever.

"What am I going to do now?" I pondered out loud and Peter sighed before putting his hand on the small of my back urging me to walk.

"You are going to come with me." Peter said and I nodded. I wasn't going to protest, after all, what choice did I have? Exactly none. "We will figure this out Ana. Don't worry." I closed my eyes and let Peter lead me to his apartment. How could everything change so much in only a split second. A few hours ago I was still in Narnia and now I'm back in London, four years in the future and supposedly dead. Peter linked his arm with mine and as we walked our steps echoed in the evening, alerting everyone of our presence.

^*^

"I called Edmund. He has agreed to meet us with Lucy tomorrow." I nodded slowly. I was sitting on the couch, doing nothing but stare out of the window. Peter had moved to close the blinds but I had stopped him. I was fine with the blinds being open.

"What about Susan?" I inquired and Peter's face changed. He shrugged and as a shadow darkened his face he moved to the kitchen. I could hear him fumble with cups.

Peter's place was nice. Cosy, comfortable and obviously a bachelor's house because it had this certain touch to it. But it was home and he at least had a place for himself. I found out he finished studying Medicine at Cambridge. I never figured he would've studied something like this. I was finally getting used to the idea of him being a king, but now he was back to being normal. Being normal contained doing a job. But it was either this or join the army. He wanted to join the army. But it was against his mother's wishes, hence he decided not to.

"Here you go." Peter said as he handed me a cup of tea. I smiled.

"Thank you." He gave me a small nod and sat down on the other side of the couch. My attention was still focused on the rain that crashed like waves against the window.

"You can sleep in the bedroom. I will take the couch." This pulled me out of my silent misery. I looked at Peter wide eyed.

"Oh no. I can't do that." I protested. "I can stay on the couch, you can sleep in your own bed." I said.

"Ana. It is fine. You are my guest and you can sleep in the bed. I'm sure that will be more comfortable." I felt uncomfortable with the thought of him sleeping on the couch while I hogged up his bed. It didn't feel right.

"Please, Peter. It's fine. I can take the couch, don't make yourself uncomfortable because of me." I couldn't put him in such a position.

"I insist." Peter urged and he smiled. "Really." I smiled back weakly.

"Alright, if you say so." I brought the cup to my mouth and sipped the tea. I was getting comfortable with Peter the adult and started to see the differences in the Peter the adolescent and Peter the adult. But I also saw the similarities, the things that could never change. Like the way he would pinch the bridge of his nose when he was frustrated. Or the lack of subtly, something he possessed. But also the way he was so suspicious of people making him somewhat rude, but I knew it was meant in a good way. It took me a while to convince him I was from Narnia but once he did, everything seemed to fall in place.

"Will we find Prince Caspian?" I had asked him in the hospital as we waited in the waiting room for a doctor that could attend my injury. Peter had turned to me.

"I'm not sure whether I should tell you that."

"Why not?"

"Because I wouldn't want to change something if you go back." And exactly those words were what sealed my fate. In my eyes but also in his.

"_If_ I go back." I reminded him.

Now sitting on the couch like we were strangers, even though I knew him so much better than that, I couldn't help but wonder, what was going to happen to me if I didn't make it back. I was supposedly dead and trying to make my relatives understand why I'm back and where I was in the past four years was a hard task, if not impossible. But somehow I knew that if we crossed that bridge it would be inevitable.

"What are you thinking about?" Peter's soft voice pulled me out of my reverie and I had told him what was on my mind before I could even blink. I had to remember that the bond between the two of us was different than the one I remember. But it was so hard to keep the Peter I know and the Peter I'm sitting with apart. Because they're one and the same. But I'm the only one that knows this.

"You shouldn't worry about that. We will find a way to tell your relatives what happened. But since we don't know ourselves it's best to leave that for another day. After all, we need to see if Lucy and Edmund might know something. Maybe even remember you." I nodded. Why they couldn't remember me was a question itself. But I did know it had to do with the fact I was dead.

"What about Susan?" I asked about Susan again. "She was in my class." Peter raised his eyebrows at that.

"That might be something, although I'm not so sure." I frowned at that.

"Why not? I'm sure she knows who I am, what happened to me." Peter nodded.

"Susan and I aren't really on speaking terms." Peter sighed and rested his elbows on his knees as he bended forward. The cup still in his hands. The tension in the air was thick, but it mostly was between Peter and the subject Susan. I put the cup on the table and put my hand on his arm.

"What happened?" Peter looked at my hand before his eyes trailed up my arm. I could see my reflection in his eyes, he was that close. A shiver went up my spine and I felt goose bumps cover my skin. The attraction between the two of us was old for me, but that didn't mean that this Peter was used to it. I slowly retracted my hand but didn't look away. Instead I found myself being pulled closer to him by an invisible force. I wasn't the only one though. Peter was moving closer as well, we were like magnets. Being pulled to each other, our attraction towards each other was sizzling with energy. I didn't know how or when but somehow we were this close that I could feel his breath on my lips. I felt the pit of my stomach tighten.

Someone else though, had the worst timing and I found myself pulling away again, putting some distance between us again. I felt remotely stupid, what was I thinking? I couldn't just go and kiss Peter Pevensie. Again. This was a different Peter, a Peter that hadn't kissed me yet. As Peter got up and walked to the front door to see who was knocking, I let out a deep breath.

"Oh dear." I mumbled and I put my palm against my chest. My heart was fluttering like crazy. I wondered if he could hear it.

"Peter!" I heard a male's voice at the door and I got up on my feet, seeing Peter's back but that's it.

"Evan, what are you doing here?" Peter asked. I heard Evan groan.

"You forgot, didn't you?" He said exasperated. "You were supposed to tutor me tonight." I heard Peter sigh.

"Right, Evan. Sorry, there was a family emergency." Peter lied. "I should've called you but it slipped my mind."

"Happens to the best of us mate." Evan said and he slapped Peter on the shoulder. I never thought Peter was weak, I knew he was a fairly strong lad but seeing him stumble because of a pat on the shoulder made me wonder whether he was still the same when it came to strength. But then I saw Evan and I realized that every person would stumble.

Evan was tall, at least 6"4 and muscled. All in all he was buff and not someone you would want to have a fight with. As he chit chatted with Peter his eyes suddenly fell on me. I hadn't realized that Peter had moved and Evan was able to see me.

"Who is this pretty gal?" Evan exclaimed as he looked me up and down, with obviously no shame. I felt a blush on my cheeks and took a step back. Peter rolled his eyes in exasperation and stepped away from the door letting Evan in. The dark haired, blue eyed held out his hand and I took it gingerly.

"The name is Evan Creeley." He said and he pecked the back of my hand gently. So besides being good looking he was also charming. From the corner of my eye I saw Peter scowl. "I can only assume the name is just as beautiful." I smiled without being able to stop.

"The name is Ana." I told him. "Nice meeting you." "

"The pleasure is all mine." Peter closed the door and I quickly dropped Evan's hand. I entwined both of my hands looking at Peter, hoping he would say something.

"I understand why Peter forgot about his prior engagement." Evan said knowingly. He nudged Peter on his arm amused. "If I were you I would've forgotten it too, but do not worry. A gorgeous gal like Ana can surely wait an hour while you tutor me." I shrugged and looked at Peter.

"Evan, about that. I'm sorry. I think cancelling would be better." He said pointedly giving Evan a look even I wouldn't dare to object to.

"If that's what you want, who am I to object." Evan said, his mood still the same. He smiled at me and gave me a small wave before walking out the door Peter held open.

"Call me next time." Peter reminded him and Evan nodded.

"Of course, wouldn't want to disturb ya." I smiled shaking my head as Peter tried to get rid of Evan.

Evan surely was persistent, but I suppose Peter wasn't someone to trifle with. I, however, remember objecting to many things that involved Peter. I made my way into the tiny bathroom and looked into the mirror. I still couldn't grasp the fact that the girl in the mirror was me. Of course I hadn't changed that much, but there was something different. My brown doe like eyes were still the same. I still had the short small nose, basically every feature was the same. But there was something that changed something, like the way my hair adorned my face. It was longer now, reaching halfway my back. My skin was still the same. Slightly tan, with a hint of yellow.

"Sorry about that. Evan has the tendency to be a bit...overwhelming." Peter said and I turned around. I smiled.

"It's alright, he seemed like a nice person." Peter gave me a careful stare.

"He is alright." I bit my lip at the obvious jealous tone. Who knew, even in this world, this Peter got jealous quickly. I looked at Peter through the corner of my eyes. He was leaning against the door, his eyes were staring at the ground and I quickly walked towards him.

"So we're meeting Edmund and Lucy tomorrow morning." Peter nodded.

"We're picking them up from the station." I nodded. "I will wake you up." Silence engulfed us and I could hear both of us breathe. It felt nice. I reached out for his hand.

"Ana, what happened back there?" Peter suddenly asked. I retracted my hand quickly. I knew he was talking about the almost kiss in the living room before Evan showed up. I wondered what to say.

"Don't worry about it Pete." I said. "It was nothing." I was lying to myself and hated it, but I knew that it was the best thing to do right now. Peter gave me a calculated look, I avoided it and moved out of the bathroom. Peter grabbed my wrist and pulled me to a stop.

"Ana."

"Peter." I sighed and turned to him. He seemed utterly confused. He let go of my wrist.

"Where we friends?" He asked and I looked at him curiously. "Back in Narnia I mean. Were we friends?" I smiled.

"Something like that."

**_A/N: Let me know your thoughts :D_**


	13. Don't Tell Me I Cannot Go

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**_

**_A/N: So this is just a silly filler for this story but I hope you guys will still like it. I have ideas how to continue this story but a stupid block is preventing me from putting it on paper. But now I have a bit more time, that I actually need to study for, I'll brainstorm to keep awkwardness from ensuing. Anyways, please review! I love hearing from you guys and I feel like even though I have tons of alerts, only a few actually review :( Anyways, here it is. Enjoy :)_**

_**Don't Tell Me I Cannot Go**_

"_Wake up." I knew this voice. Lucy. She was standing with her back to me but I knew she was talking to the tree. She put her hand against the tree whispering those words again before taking a step back. Her crimson and golden dress shimmering in the faint sunlight, she turned around and started walking again. Besides the sounds of the forest waking up there was something else there as well. It was faint but Lucy heard it._

_  
It was a growl._

"_Aslan?" _

I gasped, my raspy breath tickling my throat in an uncomfortable way. I sat up straight in the bed and looked at the white door, hearing footsteps behind it. Knowing, that someone else's day has started way before mine. I put my hand on the sheets, the soft fabric flowing over my skin. Today is real, all of this is real. I felt tears prick behind my eyes. I really was in London. I pulled my knees to my chest and sprawled my palm over the bridge of my nose, scrunching close my eyes. A few tears escaped. Why was this happening? Before I even knew Peter existed the most exciting thing in my life was my Latin teacher, who was very good looking. But the second Peter noticed me everything has been a hurricane of drama.

"Ana?" Peter's voice shook me out of my reverie. As I yelped I realized I hadn't heard him knock. I pulled up the sheets to my neck and looked at him with blurry eyes. It was obvious I had been crying. I forcefully focused my eyes on my hands.

"You alright?" I nodded, knowing if I used my voice I would sound strange, so to reduce the damage control I settled for not speaking at all. "Right, well. Breakfast is ready." I nodded, still not looking at him.

"I'll be there in a minute." I said. It was awkward to say, but at least the urge to prove myself was gone. I could just be Ana and that was fine. Slowly, I heard the door close and I looked at the now empty door. I knew I couldn't expect anything from Peter but just his help. And I was fine with that. He wasn't the Peter I was interested in the first place. I wanted the conceited Peter that I could wrap around my finger if I want to and who has me wrapped around his finger completely. And even though this is Peter, he isn't the one I can stay with.

After all, I have to go back.

I slowly pulled the sheets away and got out of bed, feeling the carpet under my bare feet. I quickly got dressed and fixed my dress and hair in the mirror before using the door that lead to the living room. As I shut the door behind me I heard the radio in the background. Some song I didn't know was filling the empty space and I wondered whether music was enough to keep the tension from the air.

"There you are." Peter's voice pulled me closer to him and I smiled at him. His blond hair tousled, shining in the morning sun. "Have a good night sleep?"

"Yes, thank you." I responded and I sat down on the chair as Peter poured me a cup of coffee. As he handed me the cup I wondered what we were going to do next. I couldn't stay with him like this for always. It wouldn't look right, not to mention what other people might say if they found out about the living arrangements.

"What are we going to do?" I asked and Peter sat down. He pushed a plate with toast and eggs to me and I murmured a thank you. He really was going overboard with it all. He didn't have to do this.

"Edmund and Lucy are coming over." I frowned. "We're going to see whether they recognize you."

"Peter." I began, swallowing the food. "If you don't recognize me, my family thinks I'm dead. Then I'm sure Lucy and Edmund won't know who I am." Peter shrugged, his pale eyebrows furrowing. I sighed, sudden knots appearing in my stomach. Why was this so hard? "I need to go back." I mumbled and Peter's blue eyes settled on me. His obvious scrutiny making me nervous.

"I know." He said. "But we can try." I nodded slowly. We had to start somewhere.

"Are you the only ones that know about Narnia? Well, besides me then." Peter nodded his head.

"Well, just us..." Peter brought his cup to his mouth when suddenly he put his cup down on the table with a sharp sound. I glanced at the blond in front of me. His eyes wide with realisation. "And Professor Kirke."

"Who?" I asked and he got up. Breakfast all forgotten. His grey pants and cardigan looked good on him and I wondered why I was seemingly hung up on that? I quickly shook my head and got up myself. Peter was in his room rummaging through his dresser and as I followed him, I could see the excitement on his face.

"What are you doing?" I asked. Peter didn't reply and I felt put out. Suddenly he came back again, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the front door. He quickly put on his coat and handed me mine.

"We are going to call Professor Kirke because if there is anyone who knows how to get into Narnia, he would be it." Professor Kirke? I felt giddy with excitement. We were finally getting somewhere. I quickly put on my shoes and shrugged into my coat as Peter held open the door shutting the door behind him quickly.

^*^

"Wait a minute. Are you telling me, you went to Narnia with us, but came back four years in the future, without us?" Edmund summed up. We were back at Peter's apartment, occupying his living room. But we weren't alone. With us were Peter's siblings Edmund and Lucy. After Peter called Professor Kirke to meet with him we picked up Edmund and Lucy from the station and after some awkward introductions and realisations for me that they didn't recognize me I had to tell my story to them again.

"That's pretty much it." I said and Edmund whistled lowly. Running his hand through his dark hair. Edmund was really attractive and if he wasn't several years younger than me and if I didn't have such a weak spot for his brother I would certainly be interested. But maybe it was a good thing I wasn't, although his dark brooding eyes seem to enchant me without him even trying.

"But why don't we remember you then? I distinctively remember only the four of us going. You weren't there." I shrugged. I knew it was confusing for them. The same with me.

"I don't know, what I do know is that I need to go back." Lucy shook her head. Lucy hadn't changed much, just for the attire she was still the same little girl. But one thing had changed. Long gone was the little girl, in front of me was a young woman who knew how to handle a situation.

"That's not possible Ana." Lucy said. "We don't decide when we want go to Narnia. We always end up there accidently and when Aslan wants us to. We have no say in this. Last time we were in Narnia was four years ago."

"Then care to explain how I saw you talking to a tree, asking them to wake up at the train station?" Lucy's eyes widened. Her mouth formed the unspoken words and she looked at Peter who was looking at me with a strange expression in his eyes. I wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"When?" He demanded and I flinched slightly of his harsh tone. I swallowed and looked at the ground instead of him. I already had trouble keeping my emotions at bay, but with him being so intimidating I had trouble to keep myself from lashing out. This is not the Peter I know, he might not react the same way.

"I had a dream. It was fairly brief but that's what I saw." I confessed and I saw Lucy and Edmund exchange looks as Peter's eyes were glued to mine. I rubbed the spot above my heart, a nervous habit, and decided to ignore Peter's eyes. "Look if there is a way back from Narnia, I'm sure there is a way in." I said firmly, or at least, I tried to.

"Wait, back to the beginning. How did you come back again?" I sighed at Edmund's persistence, even though I understood where it was coming from.

"I told you." I said exasperated. "I was following Lucy when I got lost myself. I found a mirror and when I touched the glass I was back in London. Only the difference was that I was four years older, even though I couldn't have been gone more than a week, and I was dead." Edmund and Lucy fell quiet.

"Dead?" Edmund asked and I licked my dry lips.

"Dead."I repeated, this little bit of news still frightened me. Lucy seemed overwhelmed and decided to stay quiet. The only thing we heard were the sounds of the traffic jam outside. The honks of cars, the grumble of people talking. The dog barking next door. But I couldn't care less about that. What I was more interested in was how all of this couldn't be a silly dream. Something like this shouldn't even be reality, in fact, it was scientifically impossible, however I was living proof that these kind of things were real. How could I explain the fact that I travelled from a different dimension back home, four years in the future.

"How did you die?" Lucy suddenly asked pulling me out of my silly thoughts. I shrugged, wanting to know that answer myself.

"I don't know. But apparently I died the day I entered Narnia. Only you don't remember me either and I don't know what happened to me back here." Edmund ran his hand through his hair, messing it up again.

"How is that even possible? People don't disappear for no reason."

"This is more complicated than I thought Pete." Edmund said as he looked at his older brother. "When you called me I thought you found a girl who knew about Narnia as well, you didn't say she went with us and is supposedly dead."

"Trust me, it wasn't like I had a choice." Peter responded. Edmund huffed.

"Bloody brilliant."

"Look, now we've established that this is a strange situation, why don't we talk about helping Ana." Lucy said. Her voice had a strange authority to it. This girl never ceased to amaze me.

"How?" Edmund exclaimed. "How could we possibly help her get back?"

"I don't know Ed!" Peter suddenly shouted and I held in my breath. This was slowly spiralling out of control.

"Peter!" Lucy shouted and Peter sighed and leant back in his chair. At least we were in Peter's apartment where we could discuss this without getting interrupted.

"We could start by finding out how I died." I said and I looked at Edmund who was a bit more than frustrated. I knew that this was more than just a slap in the face, especially because they weren't able to get to Narnia themselves. Helping me to get back was just ridiculous and I understood that, but if I didn't go back, I'm not sure what would happen to me here.

"I'm sure that won't be difficult." Peter said and he balanced his elbows on his knees. "We can go to your family." He continued. "We now know that they still live there."

"But what are you going to tell my aunt?" I asked. "She's not the type of woman who would trust strangers."

"We can pretend to be old acquaintances." Lucy said. "I can go with them and tell them you went to school with me."

"Look." Edmund interrupted. "I'm sure all of this might be a good idea, but what will we accomplish with it? You're dead." Edmund said bluntly and I felt a stab of pain. Did he have to be harsh about it? He ignored Lucy's indignant cry.

"I know, but please you have to understand. We have to start somewhere." I responded as Peter glared at his brother.

"And we will." Peter said firmly and Edmund dropped his eyes to the floor seeing his brother's expression. "We'll think of something." Peter told me. "Don't worry." I smiled weakly, feeling the sting of tears in my eyes already. I was a rock at crying.

"Easier said than done." I mumbled and looked at the ground.

"So." Lucy piped up. "What are we waiting for?"

_**A/N: Thoughts?**_


	14. If You Don't Know Who I Am

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine...**_

**_A/N: I personally think this is rather a quick update. Especially for me! But I actually realized that this story has been published over a year ago! And the few upcoming weeks are going to be real hectic, hence the quick update. I wrote this last night, when I was supposed to study for Geograhpy exam. So I stressed out today but it went well so here it is :) _**

**_P.S A few people asked me about why Ana was back again. Well, that you will find out soon enough but I'll tell you she is here for a reason. So go with me for a while and I hope you won't desert me! Oh yeah, before I forget, this chapter is dramatic :D You guys need a pinch of drama after the boring chapter last time :P Enjoy and of course review! Please!_**

_**If You Don't Know Who I Am**_

I wasn't sure what I was thinking; all I knew was that I had had it with everything. With Narnia, Aslan, the Pevensies. Everything. Every single person that had made a difference in my life, I hated them. Do much I had no idea what to do with it. I was pulled into Narnia and for what? To be the Pevensies laughing stock? To find out how attracted I was to Peter? To realize that sometimes things are better left unsaid? What was the use of that? The only thing Narnia had given me was the weight of an unknown place on my shoulders. I was sure of one thing though. I didn't go to Narnia to save it, hell the only thing I had given Narnia was another person that they would have to bear as a burden. Same goes for the Pevensies, they didn't need my help. They were doing just fine without me. So why did I go?

So I could fall for some guy that wouldn't know me in the end? To get myself lost in something that wasn't real? To see things that isn't scientifically possible? Or it was just because something had a strong dislike for me and wanted me to suffer and feel alone? Whatever it was, I was sure that it wasn't something good. In fact, it was something that was hurting me over and over again.

All I could think of was how badly I wanted to return to Narnia, not because I loved it so much I considered it my home, like the Pevensies. No the reason I wanted to go back was because I knew that if I got back to Narnia, the way I left it, the chances of me returning to _my_ world would be existent. Instead of non-existent.

I wasn't going to settle with a simple no. Because I had had it with everything. I wanted to go back so badly it ached my chest. Like this big black hole that sucked everything into oblivion. The sharp stab that keeps bringing me back to the one thing I'm trying to forget.

What if I never make it home?

What if I was meant to end up like this, all alone and supposedly dead? What if that was my end destination. What if that was the reason I went to Narnia. So I would end up here, four years in the future, with no family, no friends, nothing. That thought, that keeps coming back, haunts me every single day. It keeps nagging like a silent voice, you can't hear it, yet you know it's there.

"Ana!" I turned around startled.

"Peter!" I put my hand to my chest, giving him a weak smile as his eyebrows rose in suspicion. "Don't do that." I admonished. He gave me a smug smirk and I bit my lip to keep myself from responding.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. "I was just going to let you know that we are going to see your family." I nodded. "To ask about your death."

"Oh, of course. Yes." I said quickly. Dead. It still gave me shivers, especially because I knew I wasn't dead, I mean, me standing here was solid proof. "You should be going then." I urged.

Peter gave me a hard look, as if he was trying to understand every single bit of me in an instant. However, as easy I am to understand, you can't comprehend a person with one look. It takes several looks. "Look, as harsh as this may sound, you have to get out your self pity fest. We really are trying to help you and I understand that this is frightening but distancing yourself from us is not the solution." I frowned.

"What are you saying Peter?" I responded. The edge in my voice was not hard to miss, nor did he actually miss it. His eyes hardened immediately and I could see by the way he took his stance besides me that was trying to let his body speak for him. That was something I was used to. After all, I'm glad to see that some of his traits haven't changed.

"Peter, are you coming?" Lucy's voice stopped Peter from snapping back but I suppose this wasn't the end of it.

"You should go." I commented, dismissing this matter. "They're waiting for you." I referred to his siblings. I could hear the small chatter Lucy was making with Edmund.

"They can wait for a few minutes." He said coolly and I crossed my arms, evading his eyes.

Peter and I had taken a turn for the bad in the past few hours. I hadn't expected it, but on the other side. Peter was prone to being hot and cold all the time. He switched moods so often it almost gave me a whiplash. On the other hand, I was just as bad as he was and with us living with each other for the time being didn't help either.

"I'm not sure what it is you want from me. But I'm not trying to push anyone away. You are going to my family; see them, whereas I'm not allowed to. Of course I'm going to be a bit sour about that. And if you had thought about that before cornering me we wouldn't be having this conversation." This was harsh. I was being too melodramatic, but I had no control over anything anymore. Not a single thing, so I lash out to have some sense of control.

I did try to ignore the surprised look on Peter's face, the awkwardness of the fact I was telling him off in a way only people who are familiar with each other do. But I couldn't just ignore the fact that a part of me knew Peter, and this may not be the exact same Peter I knew. But somewhere deep down, my Peter was still there. So if I had to coax it out a bit by being snappish. Then so be it.

"Ana-" Peter began but was cut off by Lucy's cry.

"Peter!" Her small form appeared in the doorway. "We're going to be late and it will be your fault. No hurry up, will you." She wore an exasperated look on her face but when she tasted the atmosphere in the Peter's small bedroom, were the three of us were standing I knew she knew. It wasn't hard to miss, with Peter glaring at me while I ignored everything about him. "Did something happen?" Lucy asked, looking at Peter before turning her eyes to me.

"No." Peter said after awhile. "Nothing happened. Let's go Lu." He said and I turned around, facing the window. I ignored the linger pair of eyes on the back of my skull. I knew that what just happened was really ungrateful. After all, look at it from his perspective. Peter took in a girl who he didn't even know, me. And did everything to help me and this was the way I repaid him.

I rested my forehead against the cold glass and I could see the three Pevensies on the sidewalk. There figures creating a distance between them and me. I sighed and pulled away, ignoring the pricking sensation of tears behind my eyes. Ignoring the fact that I was all alone now and the only thing I could do was wait.

And I was never good at waiting in the first place.

**^&^**

I knew that this wasn't the brightest thing to do but I was desperate. So that qualified as an excuse, right? Or so I kept telling myself. I quickly descended the stairs and left Peter's apartment. I'm sure they'd be back home when I decided to come back. And I was done with being holed up in the apartment for hours. I needed fresh air, something solid, other than the Pevensies of course. I wanted to visit my best friend Cecelia Marks. Go back to the times where things were so much easier to understand. Not this rubbish idiocy that wanted to make me pull out my hair. But I couldn't, I knew I couldn't.

"Easy miss." I recognized the voice immediately and I snapped my head towards the tall dark haired person, who had barged into Peter's apartment only a few days ago.

"Evan?"I said out loud and he glanced down. His piercing blue eyes scanning over my short stature.

"Ana?" He smiled widely. I was glad he recognized me. "Where's Peter?" He asked. "Left him behind, did you?" He winked at me and I smiled involuntarily. Evan's way of speaking made me smile, even though I didn't want to.

"I was getting a bit claustrophobic." I confessed and he smiled, his white teeth gleaming down at me.

"So where to are you headed?"He asked me as he fell into step with me. I shrugged.

"I'm not entirely sure." I said slowly. I knew that must've sounded absurd. But if it was he chose not to react and instead put his hand on my back, giving me a soothing pat. "Where were you headed?" I asked, trying to start a conversation. He shrugged.

"I just got back from my lecture." I nodded at him as he smiled down at me. My gosh he really was tall, and also quite handsome. He had sharp features, different features than Peter. Both of them had blue eyes, although Peter's had a tinge of green in them while Evan's eyes were blue, almost gray. Evan's jaw was sharper and was pushed out a bit more than Peter's. Evan's nose was slightly too big for his face but that didn't take away the fact he was still handsome. Peter's nose was adorable. I blinked. Why was I comparing Peter to Evan?

"Really, that's nice." I mumbled, trying to shake off my previous thoughts about him and Peter. "What are you studying?"

"Medicine." _Like Peter._ I mentally groaned. Shut up.

"Really." I feigned interest. "That must be so interesting."

"It is." Evan said, looking at me with a slight crooked smile. A smile that looked out of place on his face. Don't get me wrong, Evan seemed as a nice person. But I was so much more interested in the way he did _not_ look like Peter. "So tell me, how do you know Peter? In the two years I've known him he has not ever mentioned you." Evan said and we sat down on a bench. The sun was shining today. Although it wasn't as warm as I would want it to be.

"Oh, well…We're…" I stammered and couldn't hide the blush. "I was in the same class as his sister Susan." I said and Evan nodded. "We're old acquaintances and I'm staying for a little while. He is just lending a hand, or so you could say." I tried to explain but it was hard. How do you explain something that you don't really understand yourself?

"Well, if you need my hand for something. Let me know." I gave him a small smile. That was a nice thing to say.

"Thank you, that's real kind of you." I responded and again I was drawn into his eyes.

I knew there was some kind of attraction between the two of us, whether I should respond to it was a complete different matter. I didn't want to but somehow I couldn't help but respond to it anyways. If only I did know Evan and not Peter. If there was no Peter I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. That was bad thing to say. But I knew that there was a truth to it. I just wondered whether Peter knew that as well.

"Now tell me, is there somewhere you would like to go?" Evan interrupted my trail of thoughts. I looked at him and pressed my lips together, wondering whether I should go or not.

"Maybe some other time?" I asked and the smile on his face faltered. As if in disappointment.

"Of course." He said after some time. "Just let me know and I will be there."

"That'd be nice." I commented and slowly I got up. "I should go. I will see you soon."

"I'm holding you to it." He replied and I couldn't find the bluntness in that attractive in any way. He smiled at me and I smiled back hesitantly. I wasn't sure what to think of it. In fact, I wasn't sure whether I wanted to think in the first place.

**^&^**

Time went by fast. In fact, it went by too fast. It felt like I was outside for only a few minutes whereas hours had passed and I was sure that the others were back now. But it was so easy to just stay outside and not think of what the Pevensies will tell me. The fact I was dead was something I was still trying to comprehend, to live with. But I wasn't sure whether I wanted to hear the specifics. I wish I had thought it all through before I had came with suggestions. I wish I had taken a second to breathe instead of rushing everyone and pushing them to work. I want to go back.

I just want to know what it'll take. What do I have to lose before I could go back? Lord knows I've lost my sanity already.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. I wasn't sure what the exact time was but I was guessing somewhere around seven. It was already starting to get dark and I urged my feet to quicken my pace. I hated staying out in the dark. Suddenly I saw something that demanded attention.

A swing.

I know, it's silly to stop because of a silly swing. But this is not just a swing. It_ the_ swing I had claimed when I was a little girl. I suddenly realized where I was. In front of my old house, before I moved in with my aunt. Before the war had started. Before my dad had to leave me to fight the Germans. The heels of my Mary Jane's echoed in the silence that had engulfed me and my surroundings and I quickly crossed the street, only stopping to let a car pass, to the little park I used to spent all my time at when I was a little girl.

I made my way to the swing, claiming it the same way like I did all those years ago.

This was my real home. I looked at the house in front of the park. From this point of view I could see the white house that I had spend the first ten years of my life. My dad used to be happy, even though there was no female role model, no wife he could love, no mother to teach me how to love, we were happy. We were content. But if there is one thing I've realized it is that nothing lasts forever. And this was proof.

I pushed my feet against the ground slowly moving.

"I want to go back." I whispered. There was no one that could hear me anyways. "Please." A small breeze swept past me. I didn't pay much attention to it. However, it carried a voice.

"_When the time is right, dear child." _

"What…" I murmured as I put my feet on solid ground again, moving away from the swing.

"Look at that boys, see what we have here." A voice leered and I quickly turned around. There were three boys, one with a cigarette between his teeth as his eyes ran over my frame appreciatively. His red hair gleaming in the dark. The other two, both with black slick hair were smirking. I shuddered as I saw their piercing eyes. "A little lost bird." I swallowed thickly as one of the other boys pushed the one with the cigarette in my direction. He me was smiling, his yellow teeth showing as he threw away his cigarette. I could hear his friends taunting laughs.

"Shouldn't you three be at home? It's a bit late for an evening walk, is it?" I snapped as I took a step backwards, hoping I could walk away with no trouble.

"We could say the same thing about you, ey?" I rolled my eyes and grimaced, not hiding the fact they were repulsive.

"Well, I'll make things easy then." I responded and I turned around walking away. I didn't go there to get harassed.

"Not so fast, lady." An arm prevented me from walking and harshly pulled me back. I stumbled into the person that held me back. Another taunting laugh, only this time, I could smell his foul breath. I quickly scrambled back yet his hand on my arm was still there.

"Let me go." I said firmly. There was no quiver in my voice, nothing. Nor did I feel any fear, in fact, I felt anger. Oppressed anger that could not wait to be let loose on someone. The fact this joke of a lad was standing in front of me was just pure luck I guess.

"Oh come on." He said, "We could have a bit of fun." He bended forward and as his breath washed over me I tried not to gag.

"Like I said before." I whispered. "Let. Me. Go."

"And what if I don't?" He said suggestively and before I knew it I had raised my hand and smacked him right in the face. The silence that followed was the most terrifying silence I had ever heard. And now I realized what I had just done. I took a shaky breath trying to move away as the boy took a step forward, grabbing my shoulders roughly and pushing me into the tree behind us.

"You stupid cow!" He hissed and I could hear the others behind him curse as they encouraged their friend to go on.

"Let me go." I said in a small voice. He tightened his grip on my arms and moved his body closer to mine, pushing closer to me. I closed my eyes in disgust. This was not happening. Blind panic over took me and I didn't know what to do. Every sense or rational thought was gone, only room for panic. My raspy breath was making me dizzy and I tried to think of a way to get out of this situation.

"Look what you just bloody do!" I ignored his voice and raised my foot, digging my heel into his toe effectively. He cried out, more curses escaping his mouth. I quickly duck from beneath his arm and thinking I was able to run now. But after a few steps he had caught up with me and I was thrown to the ground roughly. My head throbbing. I turned on my back trying to move away but a haze like feeling washed over me. I blinked dizzily.

_Peter swung his sword. His opponent ducking causing his sword to get stuck in the tree. The dark haired boy kicked Peter while he was trying to pull his sword free. Peter fell, scrambling to a rock before standing up and swinging back his arm, to hit the other with the same rock in his hand. Peter's opponent pulled his sword out of the tree ready to strike. _

"_NO!" _

I screamed snapping open my eyes. The first thing I realized was that I was alone. I was still in the park. But I was alone. I scrambled back to my feet, feeling something in the pit of my stomach before I realized what it was. I fell on my knees as I felt a bile in the back of my throat. The sour smell of vomit tickled my nostrils making my eyes water as I heaved. I was glad no one was here to witness this, however I did wonder where those three boys went. Maybe they left realizing I wasn't responding anymore and they got scared.

That lead to me wondering how long I had been here.

As I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand I grimaced at the dirty mess in front of me. I got back of my shaky feet. I glanced at my clothes, grass staining them. I groaned putting a hand to my forehead. My clammy skin felt disgusting and I knew that if I didn't go back to Peter's apartment I would be in big trouble. If I wasn't already, that is. I forced my feet to move and I clumsily made my way out of the park back to the main road.

It took me a total of ten minutes to get back to the building where Peter resided and as I got in and ascended the stairs I felt the paranoia creep up. Silent and as sneaky as it was. I felt the tears catch up on me and I quickly ran down the hallway to Peter's door. When I arrived I saw it was open. That meant they were back. I quickly opened the door. I was right. They were there and they didn't seem all to happy.

"ANA!" Lucy's voice startled me and the door slammed shut. I felt arm embrace me tightly and my eyes ran to Edmund who was standing behind Lucy, looking at me in a way I couldn't describe. I swallowed thickly as my eyes ran to the big clock in the corner of the room. It was half past nine.

"Pete! Ana's back." Lucy shouted as she let me go. She looked at me and I could her red eyes rimmed. She must've been crying. But why? She barely knew me. "Where were you?" She gasped stepping back and actually taking a look at me. "What happened to you?"

Peter's face finally came in my view and I took in his messy appearance. In a few strides he was pulling at my arm, pressing the already sore place. I hissed in pain and tried to yank back my arm but it resulted into him looking at me suspiciously.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" He demanded. "What were you thinking?" I opened my mouth to reply but no voice came out. How was I going to explain then?

"Peter, calm down." Lucy said.

"I-I" I spluttered. "I'm so sorry." I said shakily. "I-I lost track of time a-and I-I saw E-Evan and w-we t-talked for a-awhile." I rambled.

"You saw Evan? Were you with him?" Peter demanded. I shook my head. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea and I put my hand against my forehead as I stumbled. Peter quickly steered me to the couch seating me there.

"N-no. T-there w-were some o-other b-boys in t-the park." I blinked and looked at Lucy who looked at me quizzically.

"What is she talking about?" Edmund said from behind me.

"W-we got into a-an argument a-and-" Peter cut me off.

"What where?" I blinked looking into Peter's blue eyes. Right now he was everything but calm but somehow he wasn't panicking whereas I couldn't think straight because of the fact I was panicking. I groaned.

"Peter, let her speak." Edmund said evenly.

"I slapped h-him." I murmured, suddenly feeling more or less calm. "H-he didn't l-like that v-very m-much."

"Did they hurt you?" Peter demanded. I wanted to speak but something prevented me.

"I-I" Something stirred in my stomach and I put my hand in front of my mouth, quickly pushing past Peter and Edmund, as I rushed to the bathroom. I fell to my knees, the cold tiles bruising my knees as I heaved again. Small hands pushed away my hair making soothing noises.

After I was done and Lucy had flushed the toilet she ordered Edmund to bring me a glass of water.

"Are you alright?" I nodded while I was everything but alright. Tears filled my eyes again and they spilled over staining my already dirty cheeks. I shook my head now and now I finally remembered something I had managed to keep hidden for the past half an hour.

I saw Peter. In Narnia.

I saw _my _Peter.

_**A/N: Please review? Tell me anything ;)**_


	15. You Thought That You Saw Him

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. You know the drill!_

_A/N: So this is the next update. Albeit a bit late I'm happy I got it out anyways. I was struggling with what kind of direction I wanted Ana to head in London. So that's why it took me a while to write this chapter. Anyways, slightly disappointed with the last chapter's response. I'm guessing it's because of the confusion the whole London and Ana thing has caused but trust me. Things will clear out. So I hope you guys will review this time :) For I can honestly tell you that you're going to like this story when most of the confusion has disappeared. But till then, please stay with me :) I hope you will like this chapter. The mood is slightly different from the other chapters but I was trying something else for a change :) They're might be a few typos but enough with the yapping, here it is. Enjoy!_

**_You Thought That You Saw Him_**

"Ana." Peter began but I cut him off. His pitiful gaze made me anxious and I felt like I was an idiot. He purposely made me feel like this. Which I resented.

"Don't look at me like that." I warned. "I'm not an idiot."

"That's not what I meant." Peter's eyes clouded with exasperation. "I just want to clear things up."

"What?" I exclaimed and I refrained myself from pulling out my hair as Lucy's hand pulled me back on the couch. Keeping me seated on the chair I was currently occupying. "There is nothing to clear up. I saw you fighting. In Narnia. It's as simple as that."

"No it's not." Peter objected and he pinched the bridge of his nose in aggravation. "It's not possible to see people like that. Nor is it possible to see _into_ Narnia."

"Well apparently I did." I gave him a pointed look to which he responded with a glare.

"Something's not right." Edmund interrupted before either of us would say something to escalate the whole situation. But somehow I doubted it would help, the whole thing had escalated anyways.

"That is obvious." I reacted and looked at Peter, giving him a hard look. He didn't back down or avert his eyes first, instead he met my stare with a glare of his own.

"No." Edmund began. "I mean, there is something wrong about you being here." He elaborated. "It seems there is some kind of link between Narnia and you."

"A link?" Peter repeated, sounding incredulous.

"Well how could she then see things that has happened when we were in Narnia four years ago? It's the only logical explanation." Edmund said, looking at his brother. Peter sighed and pushed up his sleeves.

"We need to go see Professor Kirke." Lucy said firmly. She had remained quiet for the whole conversation and I was wondering when she was going to intervene. "And Peter stop doing that." She chastised him, he gave her a slightly guilty look but listened anyways. I looked at Peter. There was a part of me that couldn't help but feel so attracted whereas the attraction wasn't meant for him.

I barely knew him.

"I don't know." I sighed.

"What do you mean?" Lucy asked carefully. I shrugged. How was I going to explain it to them. How was I going to vocalize it when I could barely admit it to myself.

"So we're going to see Professor Kirke. And then what?" I asked. "He might know a lot about Narnia but he doesn't know how to get back. Frankly, I'm still stuck here. I don't see a solution in that." I bit my lip and tucked my hair behind my ears.

"You haven't even spoken to him yet." Edmund began. "Don't you want to go back to Narnia?" I shrugged. It wasn't like I was that happy in Narnia.

"I don't know." I told him honestly. "But say I do return to Narnia, I won't be the same." I blinked a few times, hoping I could will away the tears that were stinging. "I'm not even sure I'll return to the Narnia I know."

"You will." Lucy said firmly. "Aslan would never do something like that." I let out a laugh that sounded fake in my own ears.

"I don't even know Aslan." I said. "And still he pulled me into Narnia. You know I was quite content with living my life the way it was before I met any of you." I know it sounded harsh. I know it was something I couldn't say after what Peter had done for me. But this bottled up frustration had me at the end of my nerves. I couldn't think properly because I was so bloody confused about everything. There was nothing I could rely on and Lucy practically implying that I should trust Aslan was something she couldn't ask of me. Because he created so many problems and confronted me with so many things that I started to resent the whole idea of Aslan.

"Are you saying it's our fault you're in this mess?" Peter asked, the edge wasn't hard to distinguish from his voice, nor was the surprise. I blinked. I just couldn't disagree with him. So I settled for saying nothing at all. Looking back, it perhaps wasn't the brightest thing to do.

"I'm sure it's not what she meant." Lucy tried to mediate while she gave me a look that told me she was hurt.

"No, it's exactly what she meant." Peter said harshly, ignoring Lucy. His eyes had darkened in anger and the clenching of his jaw indicated he was holding in his anger. I got up from the chair.

"I should go." I told them. "I shouldn't stay here anymore." I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I couldn't stay here any longer. I didn't want to stay here with Peter.

"Ana?" Lucy's voice rang. I ignored it as I moved to the front door and opened it.

"You can't just leave." Edmund exclaimed, as he intervened between me and door. He pushed my hand away from the doorknob and closed it. I looked at him. His dark eyes stood angry and he was looking at me with indignation written all over his face. "Where are you going to go? You're dead, remember?" He wasn't quite subtle, but it was true.

"I don't know. I'll see." I told him blandly.

"Ana. Look, I know it must scare you but leaving like this isn't going to help. You want to go back to Narnia, let us help you." Edmund tried again and I shook my head. When was he going to realize. I wasn't going back. I was going to stay here now. I had asked to go back home so many times when I was in Narnia that somehow I got my wish, albeit it wasn't exactly my home. But everything was just so overwhelming and demanding. And all I wanted to do was crawl back into a hole and be hidden from everyone. I didn't want to feel like I wasn't adequate enough for Narnia, I didn't want to feel the unfamiliarity of the words that stung every single time Peter and I argued. I didn't want to feel the attraction. I just wanted everything to be alright again.

"You don't even know how to help me. " I pointed out.

"Give us time." I shook my head. "Ana." I closed my eyes, this time tears were running down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I told him as my voice broke. I opened the front door and left Peter's apartment. I couldn't ignore the sting of rejection when I realized Peter hadn't tried anything to stop me. I tried to hold in the sob but I just couldn't. I slowly descended the steps as my vision grow blurry because of the tears. It's funny how some things can tip you off like this.

I was back on the main road again when I felt a hand on my elbow. The slight drizzle made the air thick and I turned around startled. I wondered who would still be outside at this hour. I was sure it was past midnight for Peter and I had been arguing for at least two hours. I was surprised though to see Peter in front of me, his hand on my elbow as he breathed heavily.

"You can't leave." He told me. "You're not going to leave tonight." I tried to pull away my arm from his grip but he barely budged.

"Peter, let me go." I said firmly. I ignored the fact he was able to see my tears, for I only had eyes for the fact that I needed to get as far away as possible.

"Where are you going to stay?" He demanded, ignoring my pleas completely. "You've been missing for the past four years Ana. You're family thinks you're dead. You have no friends here, you're all alone. You can't expect me to let you go." I pulled my arms again and I glared at Peter.

"But I can't stay with you." I admitted. "I don't _want_ to stay with you." Peter frowned. A flash of hurt crossed his face, it was gone as soon as it had appeared. I wondered whether I had seen it in the first place.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because I can't stay with you when everything is such a mess." Tears were falling rapidly again. I brushed away a few with the back of my hand but it did no good. They just kept coming.

"You're not the Peter I know. And it's not because I don't like you. You're very kind and I'm grateful that you've helped me. But you can't deny there is something between us. I can't deny it." I pressed my lips together and looked at him carefully.

The attraction between us had taken its toll on me. I was exhausted and I wanted everything to be alright again. But with Peter hanging around, being all hot and cold all the time. Pushing me around, making things hard. Not being able to understand that I was trying to cope with the situation made everything so bloody difficult. If it was going to be like this I rather leave now and forget about it.

"I don't understand." I closed my eyes.

"I'm not expecting you to understand. But you have to see that ever since I've been into Narnia, the only thing on my mind was how to get back. But then something happened." I motioned between us. The confused look in Peter's eyes only increased and it was obvious to see that he wasn't comprehending anything of what I was saying.

"What happened?" I let out a sob.

"That's why I can't stay." I told him. "You're not my Peter." I shook my head. The drizzle had made my hair frizzy and damp and since the night already was cold I couldn't help but shiver.

"Ana." Peter began. He didn't finish though. He couldn't vocalize his thoughts, and frankly I couldn't blame him. I dropped this gigantic bombshell on him and expecting him to understand was a long stretch.

"Like I said before. I don't blame you." I grabbed his hand. He was always warm. I never understood that. The warmth his skin radiated was so comforting that I had to lean in.

"Ana." Peter repeated and I looked at him. "I'm not sure what to say, nor do I know how to mend things. But what you're doing is rather stupid. Drop the idiocy and come home with me. We'll go to Professor Kirke in the morning and he'll tell us what to do." I pulled my hand out of his.

"I don't want to." I said. I felt tired, lost, drained, exasperated and frankly the fatigue was so much more dominant then my will to fight. Something I lacked. I was brilliant in creating problems, finding a solution, however, was something I couldn't provide.

"You're not going to achieve anything with this." Peter pointed out and he grabbed both of my shoulders. "Stop it!"

"Why don't you stop it!" I exclaimed. "You're not doing anything either." I pointed out. "You're not making things easier, in fact, you're making it harder. How can I stay away from you when you keep making it difficult." I wanted to push him away when the tears started all over again. "You don't see it, do you?" I asked softly. I grimaced as I saw the blank look on his face.

"See what?" Peter demanded and I realized that both of us were leaning towards each other. My hand was lying on his chest as his hands were on my sides. I slowly pulled away from him once I realized that these kind of situations made everything so complicated.

I scoffed. "I knew you were daft when it came to things like this. But surely this isn't _that _hard to miss." Peter raised his eyebrows at the insult before he clenched his jaw again.

"Well maybe I wouldn't be so daft if you just told me what your problem is. You can't expect me to read minds." I rolled my eyes. Even though there was some truth to his words.

"I'm not asking you to read minds." I demanded. "I want you to empathize with me."

"That's what I've been doing all the time." Peter exclaimed. "It's all I've been doing. But you're so hard to calculate I'm not even sure what to do."

"I want you to see _it_." I almost screamed. I hadn't realized my hands had formed into a fist and they were clutching his shirt as my knuckles were turning white.

"See w_hat?"_ Peter shouted.

"This!" I reacted and before I knew it I had reached up to his face and pressed my lips against his.

In hindsight, it wasn't such a bright idea. But both of our emotions were through the roof. We weren't sure what we were talking about in the first place. All I knew was that I had to get away from Peter because I couldn't confuse him with the Peter I left behind. Even though they're one and the same. Even though I was sure I wasn't going to leave London anyways. Call it a hunch, or intuition but whatever it was. I knew that whatever power pulled me into Narnia and back into London again wasn't going to interfere with my life again. I just knew it.

But somehow I couldn't distance myself from Narnia. Maybe it was because I had seen something that had played a crucial part in the Pevensies lives. Or maybe it was because it had messed up my life so thoroughly I needed an excuse in case my whole life turned out to be terrible.

Or maybe it was because of the Peter I had left behind, only to be found by a Peter that didn't know me.

I held onto Peter in Narnia when I didn't know where to hold on to. I held on to Peter in London when I didn't know where to hold on to. I realized I held onto Peter when I was lost because he was able to pull me out of the hole I hid in. Even though he wasn't aware of it himself. I was, and that was a big start. But to see him look at me, in a way, I wasn't used to hurt so much that it messed with my head.

I may have not known Peter for a long time, but it was long enough for me to realize that whatever this is, I needed him to participate. Or else I wasn't sure what I'd do.

And standing in the rain, while I couldn't find the words to describe what he meant to me and why I was pushing him away didn't make it easier. Especially since I was kissing him and he was responding in a manner I never knew was possible. It was like I was wrapped into this hot cocoon. And all I could feel was his warm lips on me, asking me for more and I couldn't do anything but grant him anything. His hands were holding on to me and all I felt were his slow tantalizing kisses that made my knees weaken. That made people in general forget what they were doing in the first place. These sorts of kisses made you succumb to the temptation and it was exactly what I was doing. Giving in. I wanted Peter this way, I wanted him to see that this was exactly what I wanted the two of us to be.

But I couldn't. Because I was simply tired of finding out whether this worth it.

Everything was lost anyways.

I pulled away from Peter abruptly and looked at him. Gasping all the way, as the only thing I could see was the dark lust in his eyes, but also the surprise. He surely could not _not_ know. He wasn't a complete idiot. I closed my eyes, knowing I just made an utter fool out of myself. I forced Peter into something he couldn't be part of anyways. So I silently demanded him to let me go. Hoping that maybe there was an ounce of common sense in him to realize that this was all just a mistake.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as I pulled myself away from him. He didn't say anything and the only thing that betrayed his emotions were his eyes. Because I could see in them the same thing I saw in Narnia. Uncertainty. He didn't know what to do. And I couldn't blame him. I threw myself at him, he responded like any male would do. Demanding something from him, especially now, would be silly. And I know I've had my fair share of silliness.

I turned around and quickly left him. Moving around the corner hoping that whatever was going to happen now I wouldn't see the damage I had caused. I wasn't sure what to do right now though. I made one mess after another and none of it was justified. Using the excuse I didn't know was far too overrated and I was simply done with everything.

I didn't want to go back to Narnia. Not again, not after everything it had caused. I didn't want to go back to the Pevensies for they would only coax out reactions that linked me to Narnia. And I didn't want to be with the Peter in London for I couldn't fall for this Peter when I knew that I wanted the adolescent Peter. For I had him wrapped around my finger and he had me wrapped around his.

But since it was over. Both of it. There was only one thing left to do.

And that was go home.

I didn't care my family thought I was dead. I didn't care I was supposedly missing for four years. I just wanted to see my aunt and my father. I just wanted them to take me again. I wanted them to fix everything in a way I was able to forget every single thing.

And I prayed they were able to do that.

So I knocked on their door. Hoping they would scold me later for being here so late.

I could hear footsteps. They were moving lightly and fast which indicated this was my aunt. She was always more swiftly then my father. I could hear her unlock all the locks. I could hear her soft cursing for knocking so late. I also saw the shock when she registered that it was me who was standing in front of her.

"Ana." She gasped. She was wearing a purple robe and her dark hair was up in a messy knot as the sleep was still lingering in her green eyes. The same green eyes my father also possessed. She was holding onto the door as the only thing I could do was give her a faint smile.

"Aunt Maya." She blinked.

"Surely it can't be you." She whispered and before I knew it she called for my dad. "Hector! Hector!"

And to my surprise the only thing I could do was cry. "I'm sorry!" I cried and suddenly I was engulfed into a hug. "I'm so sorry I left."

"My sweet Ana." Aunt Maya cried as I felt her own hot tears on my shoulder. "Where have you been all these years?"

"I don't know." And I was actually saying the truth.

_A/N: You can hit me right now if you want to! Sorry :P I really don't like Ana either right now :P But I still want to hear your thoughts :) Please review :)_


	16. Like A Selfish Daughter

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. The brilliant mind of C.S Lewis owns everything!_

_A/N: How cool am I? I've managed to update two of my stories **and** publish a new one. Awesome huh! Even though, I have to be studying right now I couldn't help but update this story. I'm on this strange groove right now. I have so much to write about Peter and Ana it's almost unhealthy. You don't want to know how much I think about it. During my classes I always think of the things that are going to happen, which is probably the reason why I'm always so absent. But anyway, here it is :) And we're just starting with the story you guys! Eek, I'm excited. _

_Thank you all for the reviews :) I'm glad you like the chapter, but can we all put up a few notches? So, the people that alert this story or add it to their favourites, would you mind dropping a few words? I love to hear your thoughts :) Thank you :)_

_P.S I changed the summary :D_

_**Like A Selfish Daughter**_

The look on my father's face was something I would never have forgotten. Last time I saw my father was before he was called to war. I was the spitting image of him, minus his green eyes. That I inherited from my mother. But now I barely recognized the man in front of me. His face was hollow. The green in his eyes dull and empty, and everything about him screamed that he was like some kind of empty vessel. There wasn't much left in him and by presenting him his 'dead' daughter however coaxed a reaction out of him. That seemed strange, for I saw him as my mother and father. He was my sun, he made me smile and he took care of me in a way I never thought was possible. And in return I took care of him. For he was my father and I knew that the lack of a woman's touch, my mother, took its toll on him. Even though it was my fault she died in the first place. For her body wasn't ready to give birth to a child. Yet my father always made it clear that it wasn't my fault.

"Hector, it's Ana." Aunt Maya said, he barely glanced at his sister. His eyes set only on me. The resemblance used to be almost uncanny but now my father was like a living corpse. Craving death, not finding it. "She's alive."

"Dad." I brought out carefully and I watched the emotion on his face. At first he barely reacted, and then the shock set it. It struck him like lightning and he had swept me up in his arms, crushing my oxygen supply, yet holding onto me as if I would disappear. I wasn't sure how long we stood there, me in his arms, but eventually Aunt Maya managed to convince my father to let me go.

They pulled me into the familiar living room and I was happy to see that nothing had changed. It was a comfort to find something so utterly familiar since unfamiliarity was something I was getting used to. So this was a nice change. Aunt Maya pulled me to the couch immediately and she was talking to my father. Rambling mostly, talking to herself sometimes but all of it was out loud and I decided that it would be best to keep my mouth quiet. When suddenly she asked me something.

"Where were you?" I blinked. How was I going to reply to that? I didn't have a backup plan for I couldn't tell them anything about Narnia. I knew I had to keep that a secret.

"I'm not quite sure." I told her cautiously and I saw her exchange a look with Hector.

"Surely you must've remember what happened?" She urged and I shook my head.

"I honestly can't remember." I decided to go with that. And for some reason I was able to put my emotion to it as well since my tears were flowing again. It was a good thing I felt like my whole world was crashing down because I was never able to lie to Hector. He was my father, fathers always knew. "I don't know where I was."

"Don't cry." Hector finally said. His voice was low and rough and his large hands engulfed mine before he pulled me closer to him. "Please do not cry. You are safe." That didn't help of course. My eyes were brimming with tears as they spilled. I felt like I could cry an ocean.

"I'm sorry I came at this hour." Aunt Maya shook her head. Tears in her own eyes.

"Don't apologize, my dear." She said and as Hector let me go she pecked me on the forehead. "It is such a relief to have you home again." She smiled before her expression changed and she gave me a slightly confused look. I suddenly understood what must've caused the confusion. The call.

I had called her before but she had thought it was some kind of joke.

"You called." She stated and I nodded. "And I told you off. Oh Ana." She sighed and she kneeled in front of me, running her hand through my hair. "I am sorry."

"It's alright. I understand." She gave me a weak smile.

"But where have you been all this time? You called me almost a week ago." I shrugged.

"I was with a friend." I said, trying to take the safe route. Discussing with my aunt who Peter Pevensie was and how I knew him wasn't such a bright idea. And I've caused enough collateral damage that it was time for me to be careful and think before I act.

"What took you so long?" My father cut in. "Why didn't you come here instead of calling?" I pressed my lips together and pulled my hands in my lap.

"I was afraid." I confessed. "I wasn't sure whether it was such a good idea. You thought I was dead." My voice was breaking again. "I wasn't sure what to do."

"It doesn't matter now." Aunt Maya quickly said and she brushed away the new wave of tears and her finger lingered on my face. She was slightly cautious with touching me. As if testing whether I was real or not. "She's back." She said this to Hector. "She's safe."

"I'm exhausted." I said quietly. The fatigue was so dominant I had trouble holding my eyes open. I wanted to stay with them though but sleep would be welcome as well. "Is my room still here?"

"It's still here." Aunt Maya said. "Come on. Off to bed." She gave me a small smile that I couldn't help but smile back.

I was back again. With my family. Albeit it was a small family and there were holes that needed to be filled up but I couldn't complain much. For I had my wish and I was exactly where I was supposed to be. With the people I loved and they needed me just as much as I needed them. Although I couldn't deny the fact that I had craved Peter's need in a certain way. But that was all over now, I had to get rid of those thoughts.

I was surprised to find my room the same way I had left before I went to school. Everything was the same. The light blue tinted walls. The bed covered in soft sheets. The mahogany desk with books littered all over them. The wooden floor, covered partially with a carpet that matched the curtains. I was even able to smell the perfume I sometimes chose to wear. I moved to my closet and opened it. Everything was still the same. No one had even touched my things. Which meant that Aunt Maya and Hector both had some hope that I would return. Some day.

"We never thought you were truly gone." I turned around startled. Hector was standing in the doorway. In his hand was a picture of my mother. The one picture I always kept on my desk. The only thing that had been moved, since I never touched that picture unless it was necessary. Somehow the idea of reminding myself that I didn't have a mother made things only harder and since Hector and Aunt Maya provided me of the comfort of a family, I couldn't complain.

Hector moved to the desk and settled the picture on the spot it belonged. I stared at the picture. Yes I was the spitting image of my father. For which I was grateful because I wouldn't want Hector to remind him of my mother, every single time he looked at me. Yes of course there were some similarities. Like the fact my features were softer than my father. More round, like my mother. But there was only one thing that truly was a part of my mother, and that were my eyes. My dull, brown eyes. It is scary that one thing can almost change a whole person like that.

I know it may seem like I don't love my mother. Yes, I may not love her the way I love my father. But that is because I never got the chance to get to know her. I only know that my mother, Ana-Lynne, was a person who loved to be outside. She adored the fresh air. But things like that doesn't say much about a person, so perhaps that's why I somehow resented her. Because not only didn't I knew who she was. She also left us. And even though it wasn't by choice, it did happen. And that was something none of us could change.

No matter how much we wanted it.

"I was gone." I said. "Didn't you look for me?" I suddenly exclaimed. "Why didn't you?"

A flash of hurt crossed his face and he grimaced. The words stabbing him like a knife. "We did sweetheart. For two years we looked. But it was like you had disappeared without a trace. We didn't where you were and no one knew or saw you." He sighed before continuing. "We didn't know what to do, but you have to know." He persisted. "You have to know that we looked. " He was in front of me, grasping my hands. "We were looking everywhere." I nodded.

"It's alright dad." And I squeezed his hands. "I'm back now. I'm not going anywhere." And I wrapped my arms around his waist. I was able to smell his heavy scent. The same smell that was able to put me to sleep when I was an infant.

"You better not go anywhere, young lady." There was the underlying tone that indicated he was serious but it was laced with a slightly teasing air. Which lightened the mood effectively.

"Now, you better get some rest. You look tired." I nodded and my father bent down, giving me a kiss on the top of my head. "I will wake you in the morning. Sleep well, my dear."

^*^

It took me a while to get used to the way things were back home but it was all good. And so I put in a lot of effort to feel the way I felt before everything happened. Before Peter happened. I hadn't heard anything from him and I have been home for almost two weeks now. I know I hadn't told him where I was going but I was sure he would've figured that out. Wouldn't he? But surely I couldn't expect him to look for me, for I had given him all the exits that didn't lead towards me. I had made things complicated and pushed him away. I made everything far too complex and now it was my own fault that I had to bear the consequences.

But I would be fine. Because there was more to life then Peter. Besides, I let him go. And letting go means moving on. So that was the direction I had to go. Away from him and everyone else that was involved with Narnia.

"Ana love." I turned around and saw my father in the doorway. "Are you alright?" He asked and I frowned.

"Yes, I'm fine." I responded and my father nodded.

"Well, are you coming downstairs? There is someone here for you." I frowned and a rush of fear went through me. No one knew I was back. Well of course, the close family friends and the neighbourhood was aware of me being back again. And after a lot of explanation they finally got used to the idea of me being back home again. But besides that, no one knew me.

Even Cecelia hadn't come for me and I thought, being best friends, she would at least come and see me. But even my aunt couldn't tell me why she hadn't come to see me. I could've gone to her but I think that would be a too big of a bombshell to drop, so I hoped she would take the initiative. She didn't.

"Oh." My voice was high and I cleared my throat. "Who is it?"

"Why don't you come down and see for yourself." My father winked at me. A smile on his face that made a sinking feeling in my stomach appear. I took a deep breath and followed him down the stairs. All the way I couldn't help but wonder who it was and whether I should be scared or not. A part of me hoped it was one of the Pevensies, but what if it was. What was I going to say to them? I couldn't apologize for leaving, because I'm happy I did that. It was the right thing for me to do at that point.

Hector pushed me to the living room when we had ascended the stairs and as I tentatively took steps, reluctance apparent in my posture, I couldn't help but feel the disappoint when I realized it was a female voice speaking to my aunt. So I could rule out Peter.

"Here she is." My father announced and I looked at the young girl in front of me. Her reddish brown hair was pulled back and her eyes were set on me. She gave me a smile.

"Ana." I smiled back tentatively and looked at my father and Aunt Maya pointedly. They took the bait and left.

"Right, well. I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything." Aunt Maya said and she gave Lucy a smile. "Nice to see you again Lucy." My eyes shot to my aunt. What was she talking about?

As both of them left the room, leaving me alone with Lucy, I felt the awkwardness set in. Lucy sat down on the couch and I took the chair in front of her. I waited for her to say something but somehow I couldn't help but rid of the tension by speaking myself.

"What are you doing here?"I blurted out and she looked at me surprised. Her blue eyes reminding me so much of Peter.

"I wanted to know if you were alright." She replied and I felt a rush of affection for the young girl in front of me. I smiled at her.

"That's really nice of you." I told her and she nodded.

"Also." She continued and I listened closely. My curiosity peaked. "I wanted to know what you did to my brother." My eyes widened.

"W-what do you mean?" I stammered. I blinked at her in confusion. "Is he alright?" A rush of concern went through me and the urge to see him was stronger than before. I was able to control it, but now, it just made things so hard.

"You tell me." Lucy reacted and I shrugged.

"Nothing happened." I lied. I knew she was seeing through the lie, I was a terrible liar but in a situation like this I had no other solution. So I chose for being a bad liar telling a lie that no one would believe.

"That's what he says." Somehow that made me feel bad. Something did happen, in fact, I threw myself at him, he responded. I pulled away, implying it was a mistake. Of course he would be the least confused.

"W-well it's true." I lied again. Agreeing with Peter. "So was that it?"

Lucy shrugged. "We've been to professor Kirke." She said. "He said he might know a way back. But he wasn't quite sure yet." I was surprised that they actually kept going on. Trying to find a solution even though I had abandoned them anyways.

"Oh." Was my only adequate answer. I'll try to remember to use eloquence next time. "But why?" I demanded. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I haven't given up yet. Nor has Edmund." I blinked at her. I couldn't understand why the sweet Pevensie was doing this. She showed loyalty even when I had managed to betray her.

"You don't have to." I tried and she shrugged.

"Well, we want to." I nodded carefully as a silence engulfed us. Both of us were preoccupied with our thoughts although I could see Lucy observe me. I knew she was trying to figure what I was feeling, I wished she could. Maybe she could tell me what I was feeling because I was somewhat used to all those emotions that the effects were slowly numbing me to a point I couldn't distinguish anything.

"You really fell for him. Didn't you?" Lucy suddenly said and my head snapped to her. I knew I must've looked like a deer caught in headlights. But mostly I was shocked my what she said.

"What are you talking about?" I finally managed to say. Lucy stood up and sat down on the chair next to me. She looked at me with a peculiar expression and I frowned.

"Peter of course." She announced. "You love him."

"I-I" I stammered and shook my head to clear those thoughts. "I don't." I replied. Loving Peter was a long shot and I knew I wasn't even close to loving him.

"You do." She mused quietly and her eyes seemed to bore a hole in my head. "Isn't that why you left? Because you were scared to love him?"

"That's not true!" I almost shouted. "Lucy." I began again and I took a shaky breath. "I don't love Peter." I don't!

"But you have feelings for him." She stated, not the least bothered my the fact I was almost having a panic attack. My heart was racing, thumping its way out of my chest. And my hands felt sweaty.

"That's not important Lucy." I tried to be as firm as possible. Hoping the objective way of speaking would pull her away from the subject. She was treading water I hadn't even dreamed about.

"It is." She said urgently.

"No it's not." I interrupted. "Peter had nothing to do with my decision to leave all of you. I barely knew him anyway."

"Don't insult him like that." Lucy said indignantly. "He's my brother. He jumped in front of a car for you." She pointed out.

"I didn't twist his arm to do it." I replied sourly. I was being horribly rude to not just Lucy, but also to Peter. I mentally told myself to shut up, but it felt like my brain wasn't connected to my mouth, so I was sprouting out rubbish like a human cannon.

"Ana!" Lucy exclaimed. "What is wrong with you?" And that was my cue to leave.

"I'm sorry Lucy. I really am." I told her and I quickly moved out of my chair, back to the stairs in the hallway. Lucy didn't even bother to stop me as I ascended the stairs with a vengeance. Not to mention I was gasping loudly, willing tears away.

"Ana?" My father's voice rang but I ignored him and I quickly ran to my room, slamming the door in the process.

My back was against the door and the only thing that I could repeat in my head, like a mantra, was that I didn't love him. I couldn't love him. For love didn't work this way. It took time, heaps of time. And then you had to find out whether you were compatible. And Peter and I weren't compatible. We were terrible with each other. We could bend each other arms in any direction and we'd set each other off and get angry. I could go on like this for ages.

But the real thing was, that I didn't love him.

I just didn't.

And yet Lucy managed to plant a seed of doubt in me that would only make things harder. Why did she have to say something like this? Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut. For I wouldn't have come to such a conclusion. I couldn't keep the tears away this time. They spilled and stained my cheeks and I finally slid down the door to the ground. The cold floor brought a cold that chilled me to the bone. I wish this never had happened.

I wished I never had met Peter.

**^*^**

Dinner was an awkward moment. Or at least, awkward was a slight exaggeration. I just wasn't participating with the conversation, something I used to do. Even when I got back. But now, I didn't feel like talking. In fact, I wished I couldn't speak at all, for they had the advantages of not being able to blurt things out. But my way of reacting, taking in things always put my father on edge, and it did the same to my aunt. So it was only natural for them to persuade me to talk to them. Even if I didn't want to.

"Lucy seems like a nice girl." My father mused. "Isn't that right, Ana?" I looked up at my father and shrugged.

"She is." I responded and I took a sip of my drink.

"You know Ana." My aunt began. "Lucy came with her brothers' a few weeks ago. The day you came back. They were asking about you." I dropped my fork. Of course, I had forgotten about that. It had completely slipped my mind. The Pevensies had been here before. Asking about my 'death'.

"I see." I tried to cover up my anxiety by continuing to eat, as if nothing was wrong.

"You know about that, don't you?" Aunt Maya asked and I stared at my plate. I couldn't possibly lie right now.

"I do." I admitted. I turned to my aunt. "I'm sorry, but I had to know to what I was coming back to." I explained. I was winging this completely but I had to think of something that could pose as a possible excuse. So this had to do.

"Yes, but I'm sure there were other ways of doing that, Ana." My aunt said sourly. I realized I had hurt her a lot and I reached for her hand.

"I am sorry." I repeated. "Truly I am."

"Maya knows, love." Hector piped up. "And we understand." I nodded and let go of my aunt's hand.

Who knew coming back could be so difficult? Yes, I was glad to be back, but there were conflicts, things that made everything even more complicated and complexity wasn't really the thing I wanted to come back to. It was something I wanted to escape and something like this only proves that I'll never be able to run away.

"Her older brother was quite handsome. I think his name was Peter." My aunt suddenly said and I turned my eyes to her. Most of the time when my aunt says something like this I knew the argument was forgotten, but why did she have to say Peter?

"Isn't that right Hector?" Aunt Maya continued and I could see her glance at me. I looked at my dad, helpless. He pursed his lips, trying to hide his smile.

Somehow I couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness. It was filling up every fibre in my being, every cell of my skin until it reached my heart. I felt like I was drowning on dry land and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I took a shaky breath and was surprised when I felt my eyes prick with tears. I blinked a few times but no avail. The tears weren't something I could will away and I stood up abruptly. Excusing myself from the table as I quickly moved to the hall, ascending the stairs back to my room. Ignoring the apologies of my aunt.

I wasn't sure why something like this affected me the way it did. I just know it did. And I couldn't stop it. No matter how much I wanted it.

Lucy's remark came to mind again. For the past few days it was the only thing I could think about, even in my sleep I thought of it. It was almost frightening how dependent I had become of this one silly thought. It wasn't healthy either. I let out a painful sob that was dying to come out. This wasn't supposed to happen, I wasn't supposed to feel like this, lost. Everything was supposed to be alright, yet it wasn't. And why was that? Because Lucy had planted this ridiculous seed? Or was it because I had finally realized something.

That I was better off in Narnia then in the London four years from there.

_A/N: Thoughts anyone? I love to hear anything!_

_P.S This chapter title is from the song Swan Song by A Fine Frenzy. Beautiful song!_


	17. I Fall Apart When You Appear

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine!**_

**_A/N: Slightly disappointed with the response for the last chapter! 2 reviews :O Was it thát bad? Maybe it was, I mean, it was a tad boring. But hopefully you guys will like this one. I hope you will, anyways. Here it is and enjoy :) And please let me know your thoughts. I have over 90 alerts. I'm sure at least some of you guys can review? _**

_I Fall Apart When You Appear_

"Ana, for my sake. Please behave." I looked at my father, a slight edge in my eyes as I eyed him with a slight hurt expression. What was he thinking? I was his daughter, misbehaving wasn't something I did for fun, despite his believes.

"I'll be nice." I muttered and I looked at the dress I was wearing. It was a pale green dress that clung to my curves in a way that made me uncomfortable. My aunt loved it though, so I wore it purely for her sake. You see my father was invited to a party, and he had insisted on bringing me with him. Aunt Maya wasn't feeling too well, so she stayed at home. Something I wanted to do as well but my father was dead set on me joining him tonight. There were going to be a lot of people there, friends of my father during the war. He said there were people he wanted to introduce to me, get me back into his social circle. He said that it wasn't healthy for me to be holed up in my room all day. I couldn't agree with him more, but still, I wasn't quite looking forward to tonight.

"Come on." And he put his hand on my shoulder as he pulled me into the big room. There was a slight mist in the room, caused by the smokers, and I coughed a few times. Hector ignored me and in a few minutes he was engaged in a conversation with a friend. I couldn't remember his name though but smiled whenever he asked something and replied politely. The pat my dad gave me was a sign he was happy about me. But besides that, I wasn't quite seeing eye to eye to the way this evening was going to be. Hector gave up at some point, he knew it wasn't futile trying to convince me otherwise.

At some point I had excused myself from my father and I moved to the bar where they served drinks. I asked for a ginger ale and I sat myself down as I sipped my drink. The musicians were playing in the background and I was able to ignore them most of the time. The chatter however, penetrated me from every side. It didn't matter how much I tried to ignore it and not listen, I heard things that couldn't bother me any less, yet they managed to get under my skin. I quickly finished my drink and turned around, only to collide with someone.

"Oh." I said in shock. "I am so sorry." I quickly apologized and looked at the brunette who was standing in front of me. As she turned her blue eyes on me I gasped.

_Susan Pevensie?!_

"It's quite alright, no harm done." Susan said as she dusted off her red dress. She looked exactly the same, although I didn't count in the amount of makeup she used. Her lipstick was red, the same shade of red as her dress. Her hair was pinned up and her eyes were heavy with mascara. I felt like an ugly duckling next to her.

"Are you alright?" Susan asked and I realized I was staring at her. Then I realized she didn't know who I was.

"Y-yes." I stumbled with words. "I'm alright, thank you." She eyed me peculiarly before smiling gently.

"My name is Susan Pevensie."

"Ana Deloria." I mumbled. "It's very nice to meet you."

"Pleasure is all mine." She gave me a toothy smile and I smiled back. Who would ever thought I'd stumble across Susan, especially in a place like this. Last I remember, Susan wasn't one for socializing.

"Do you want a drink?" She asked as she ordered a beverage for herself. I shook my head.

"I just had one."

"So tell me, how did you end up in a place like this?" She motioned to the slightly older crowd. I smiled at her, knowing that she wasn't truly enjoying herself.

"My father. He served in the army." She nodded and her eyes lit up.

"So did mine."She said. "He is around here somewhere." She said and she looked around.

"So is mine. I am quite sure he must be off somewhere, talking to some friends." Susan nodded her head.

This truly was strange. Susan Pevensie, of all people I hadn't expected her. Although I couldn't say I wasn't happy to see her. I wondered whether she knew about me staying with Peter. Then I realized that Peter and Susan weren't really speaking to each other anymore. Did that mean they were here as well? I quickly looked around frantically, hoping to see a head of blond hair. I didn't see the one I wanted to though and I quickly looked at Susan, giving her a smile when she tilted her head to the side as she eyed me. Suddenly a small crowd had formed next to us and one of them bumped into Susan, spilling her drink all over her dress.

"Oh bloody hell!" She cursed. I blinked, I didn't know Susan cursed. "Ana, I'm sorry. I'll be right back, I need to take care of this." Referring to the mess on her dress and I nodded.

"Of course, you want me to come with you?" She shook her head.

"No it's alright. You stay here, where I can find you." I smiled nodding and she moved to the restrooms.

I relaxed in my seat and slowly the crowd thinned out and spread more across the room. Everyone was happy, and were off showing off their luxuries when suddenly my father appeared out of nowhere. He grabbed me by the hand and pulled me on my feet. I didn't have time to protest.

"There is someone I want you to meet." He said and suddenly I was confronted with two people. "Helen, William. This is my daughter Ana." I smiled politely even though I felt slightly frazzled. "Ana, this is Helen and William Pevensie. I was in the war with Mr Pevensie. " I paled and looked at Mr and Mrs Pevensie. But tried to smile anyway.

"It's a pleasure meeting you sir." I said as Mr Pevensie shook my hand. He looked so much like Peter it almost frightened me. I swallowed and took a deep breath.

"The pleasure is all ours." Mrs Pevensie said as she gave me a warm smile. "It is nice to finally see you, especially since..." She trailed off as she eyed my father worriedly.

"Yes, we are happy that she is back home, safe and sound." My father said as he put his hand on my shoulder. Mrs and Mr Pevensie looked down at me with a genuine smile.

"Well, I'm sure you'd like to meet my daughter, Susan." Mrs Pevensie said to change the subject.

"I just met her." I told her. "She is the bathroom trying to fix her dress, she spilled her drink."

"Really." Mrs Pevensie nodded her head. "Well I'm sure you'd love to meet my eldest son Peter, he must be here somewhere. Oh there he is." She called out his name and I felt my whole world freeze. I wanted to breathe but I couldn't. All I could focus on was the fact that Peter was here. And he was coming right here.

I raised my eyes to Mrs Pevensie as her back was slightly turned towards me. Maybe I could hide. But there wasn't enough time for that. I felt the loud thumps beneath my skin as I raised my hand to my chest. My heart was on overdrive, but so where the thoughts in my mind. I could see in my peripheral vision Mr Pevensie, he was eying me with slight confusion, but I could've cared less about that. My eyes were frantically looking for Peter. I didn't want to see him, but I couldn't _not_ see him either. He was here. And it's been a month since I've last seen him. I blinked and for some odd reason my feet felt heavy. But the rest of me was floating. Mrs Pevensie turned around and widened her eyes when suddenly he appeared next to her. I turned my eyes to his sluggishly. There were gray spots everywhere. I tried to ignore them.

The last thing I saw were his blue eyes peering down at me inquisitively. There were no emotions involved.

I felt like I was floating before I was slammed back to the ground. It was a strange feeling indeed. I was completely detached from my body but I could hear and feel everything around me. I couldn't react though, no matter how hard I tried. I stayed detached from it all. Cool hands settled on my skin, brushing away strands of hair. Cupping my cheek as words were murmured. Trying to coax a reaction out of me. I was lifted in the air before laid down on something cold and solid. I presumed it was the floor.

"Ana sweetheart?"

"Can you open your eyes for me dear?"

"Calm down Hector, I'm sure she is alright. Let Helen handle this."

And then I heard the voice I was pining to hear.

"Ana?" Even when I was completely lost he was able to reach out and slowly I was able to feel my limbs again. The feeling of lightness disappeared and I was aware of the throbbing near my left ear. My fingers tingled as the light assaulted my eyes through their lids. I took a shaky breath, announcing my presence again.

"She is coming to."

"She is going to be fine?" It came out as a question but at least I was able to relate.

I fluttered my eyes and opened them slowly. Blurs of colours were the first things I saw. Most of them very vivid and I scrunched my eyes close again. A cool handled settled on my cheek and I shivered. My body reacting involuntarily. I opened my eyes again and slowly everything settled into a less confusing whirlwind of colours. He was crouched down next to my father. I blinked a few times and sighed when my father's face suddenly appeared in my view. His face stood concerned and he was looking down at me with some fear in his eyes. I tried to smile, hoping it would reassure him.

"Ana, oh God! You're alright." He exclaimed and before I knew it I was pulled into a rather tight embrace. My face buried in his shoulder as I peeked over to see the one person I was looking for. He was standing now. Next to his father. He was looking down at me with two things I could decipher. Anger. And worry. The first I understood. The latter however, was a mystery.

"Hector, give the girl some room." Mrs Pevensie ordered and slowly Hector let me go. Mrs Pevensie put her hand on my forehead. "Are you alright Ana?" I nodded. "Are you still feeling faint?" I shook my head. "Can you talk?" She added somewhat bemused.

"I'm fine." I said. My voice sounded odd though but at least Mrs Pevensie believed me and she grasped my arm as Hector grabbed the other and both of them hauled me up on my feet. The slight change of equilibrium made me lose my footing again and I saw to my surprise that it was Peter that reached out to me. His hot hand grabbed my wrist and he steadied me quickly. He dropped his hand immediately though.

"Well, that was surely eventful." Mr Pevensie commented and I realized that I had attracted quite a lot of attention and I blushed as the chatter slowly began and only a few were still looking. I looked at my feet. Feeling incredibly self conscious.

"Let's get you off your feet." Mrs Pevensie said. "Peter, why don't you go find a table." She said and she pushed me into his direction. I heard her talk to my father. "Don't worry Hector. Peter will look after her."

He didn't say a word though. He only grabbed my arm and pulled me to an empty table. I collapsed on the chair as my father appeared with Mr and Mrs Pevensie. She was holding a glass of water and she gave it to me. "Drink up, dear. And don't move." She turned to Peter. "Make sure she doesn't leave this chair." I didn't look at him. I was afraid to what I would see.

"Ana, are you certain you are alright?"Hector inquired and I nodded.

"Dad, I'm alright. Please, stop worrying." He gave me a weak smile but nodded anyways. "No go!" I ordered. "Mingle!" He nodded and after some time he left with Mr and Mrs Pevensie. I was all alone with Peter now. I entwined my fingers on my lap and stared at the crowd. Some of them were dancing. I always loved to watch people dance. Their way of interacting with their partner always intrigued me. I sighed and turned around, daring to look at Peter.

He wasn't looking at me. He was wearing a black suit and it contrasted nicely with his skin. I gulped but forced my voice to work with me anyways. If I kept going on like this it was going to be a very difficult night.

"Are you going to ignore me the whole evening?" I asked softly and slowly his eyes turned to me.

"You should eat something. That colour isn't quite appealing." I let out a small smile and I looked at him. For the first time I actually _looked_ at him. I felt the tears in my eyes and I hated it but I couldn't help but cry every single day. It wasn't healthy so I took a deep breath and blinked a few times.

"I don't know what to say." I said in the same tone. I was honest though.

"Then don't say anything." He responded coolly and I flinched. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt me. Peter sighed and turned his eyes on me and I raised my arms, resting it on the table.

"Would it help if I said sorry?" I continued.

"Why would you Ana?" He asked. I was drowning in his eyes. "You made it perfectly clear what you wanted from me, funnily enough you never stuck around long enough to find out whether I was capable of giving it to you." I opened my mouth.

"I know it was awful what I did." I tried. "But you have to understand where I'm coming from."

"I do." Peter stated calmly. "Why do you think I've been tolerating you all this time." I froze.

"I never forced you to do anything." I responded. I looked at him as I hoped that the anger was coming across. "You can't blame me."

"I'm not blaming you." Peter responded and I heard the irritation in his voice. He was holding back. I wish he wouldn't. "But you are very persuasive if you want to be." The way he said it came across as if I was some kind of prostitute and I gasped. Was he truly accusing me of being something that was so atrocious and completely out of my abilities.

"How dare you." I hissed. "You have no right to say that." Peter sighed and looked at me with a stoic expression. I barely recognized the person in front of me.

"This is nor the time nor the place to be having such a conversation Ana." He said casually as if nothing had happened.

"Then don't bother." I said harshly and I got up from my seat ignoring the throbbing in my head when suddenly a hand on my wrist spun me around. Surprised by his display I stumbled against his chest. His hands were on my waist as he steadied me again. I felt his heartbeat beneath my hand as it lay limp on his chest. It's been a long time since I've been this close to him this way and I felt my resistance weaken at the mere possibility of holding him again. I was weak. So weak when it came to him.

"Ana." His voice was close to my ear as I felt his breath on my cheek. I swallowed thickly and closed my eyes, leaning closer to him. His hand tightened their grip on my hips and I gasped before opening my eyes again. I slowly retracted my hands. It wasn't sure I was supposed to be doing this, especially here. "You weren't supposed to be on your feet." His hands were still on my hips and I covered his with my own.

"I'm fine." I said calmly.

"Are you now?" He asked and I could hear the disbelieve in his voice. "Or was your fainting an act? Because it looked quite real to me." I held in my breath. I wasn't going to tell him why I fainted, I hadn't even realized I had fainted when it was already too late. But I did know it was his fault. And oh I could give him a hard time about that.

"Don't." I whispered. "Stop it, whatever you're doing."

"What am I doing Ana?" I felt dizzy again and I closed my eyes. I felt the butterflies in my stomach, there were going to burst out of my body, I was positive about that. I couldn't control how my body reacted when I was with Peter. I swallowed thickly, hoping the lump in my throat would reduce to its former size. How could he not know what he was doing?

"Please." I murmured. My walls were crumbling and falling down rapidly.

"Just sit down Ana." He responded and he dropped his hands. My body felt unseasonably cold. I followed him back to the table and was glad to sit down. I didn't want to admit it but I truly felt awful. "Are you sure you don't want something to eat? You're still pale." I shook my head.

"I'm fine." I wondered how many times I've told people that today.

"Peter." I began. I wasn't sure what was going to come out of my mouth this time but I was certain it was important. "I am sorry." His eyes fell on me and I looked into his eyes. Somehow, even though the both of us were upset, I didn't feel like I was drowning again. Even though I was angry and wanted to hit him but kiss him at the same time I felt better, emotionally, in days. And all because I've seen him. That wasn't normal. I sighed and pulled my eyes away from his.

"I know." He suddenly responded. "But it's not enough."

_**A/N: Thoughts? I know they're being annoying, but hang on for a while, I have something up my sleeve. They'll see each other again! :) Don't worry! So please review :)**_


	18. Please, Don't Make Me Move

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. The usual. It's almost getting boring, ey?_

_A/N: Thank you for the reviews for the previous chapter! I'm glad there are people still reading this :) So, for the upcoming chapters things are going to change. I'm sure you guys can guess what but in the meanwhile just stick around with me and I'm sure you guys will be satisfied :) In the meanwhile, I hope this chapter is up to your standards :) I know I wasn't supposed to update, with my exams and stuff but I just **had** to! Don't know why! Anyways, enjoy and leave me a review :) Pretty please?_

_**Please, Don't Make Me Move**_

A month passed and I hadn't seen Peter anymore. Susan and I became good friends though, maybe that could made up for the loss of Peter. Even though I knew it didn't quite compensate the lack of Peter's presence it was better than nothing. The Susan I started to know was different than the one from Narnia. This Susan, the more mature one, was everything what the Susan from Narnia wasn't. She was vain, shallow but there was an underlying emotion of compassion that draw me to her in the first place. It was also the one thing that kept me here, for if it weren't for her compassion I would've left long time ago. Especially with the animosity I evoked every single time I go to the Pevensies house. Edmund and Lucy still lived there. So seeing them was inevitable. Edmund had this new found resentment towards me, I couldn't blame him though. Regardless it didn't stop me from bumping heads with him, even though I understood his side, my side was just more important. To me.

Lucy just felt betrayed and disappointed in me. But they didn't understand that I didn't wanted to jinx everything. I wanted to stay here. Yes it may not be my time but if this is what I have to settle for, than I was fine with that. I could accept that. Going back to Narnia, making a journey, fighting for a cause not my own, that I wouldn't handle. So call me selfish, self-absorbed but if I had to fight to stay at home, in which my dad is alive and well. In which my feelings for Peter are unrequited. But I could handle that. I could live with that. Sometimes you just have to make a choice, and I made mine. And it didn't involve Peter. However, if I went back –and only if everything ends up well. Peter would be there.

But it wouldn't be the Peter I've fallen for.

It would be silly trying to figure out what I've been feeling the past couple of months. It would be stupid in fact, because I was trying to give it up. Thinking about it constantly didn't do me any good at all, on the contrary. It only reminded me of something that was never mine to begin with. A big sigh would be appropriate.

"Ana. Are you listening?" Susan mumbled and I looked up at her from my position on the bed.

"Yes, I am. Go on." I encouraged and I glanced at the two dresses she held in front of her. One was a dark red which would look lovely with her skin, whereas the other one was white.

"Which one should I where tomorrow evening? Jeffrey is taking me to the a special dance." I gave her a small smile. When Susan had demanded an emergency consult I hadn't expected this. This girl was like a walking contradiction. For I couldn't believe that this was the same person I met in Narnia.

"I like the red one." Susan threw the white one on the bed and held the red dress in front of her, as she eyed herself in the mirror. I sighed and bit my lip. I just couldn't believe how easy it was to not see Peter, no matter how much I yearned for him. Days went by and I was surprised by the lack of information the Pevensies gave me about him. The only person who'd occasionally talk about Peter to me was Mrs. Pevensie. And that would only be a few words, like how he was. And what he was doing. But that was it. It was almost as if I've never even known him.

"Alright Ana. Something is bothering you." Susan stated as she sat down on the bed. She gave me a pointed look and I found myself cowering as I eyed her pale blue eyes.

"No, not at all." I lied. "I'm fine. You go on and show me the dress you're going to wear." She raised her dark eyebrows before standing up again.

"I think Peter is coming tonight for dinner." The way Susan spoke about Peter, it was almost like he was a stranger and not her brother. Whatever had happened between the two of them, it wasn't something good. Because it affected the rest of the family as well.

"Oh, really?" My inadequate answer.

"Yes." Susan said harshly. "However, I overheard my mother say that something was going on between the two of you." She turned around again. "Is that true?" I felt the colour drain my face, leaving it pale and awfully clammy.

"There is nothing going on between Peter and I." I murmured. "I barely know him." I swallowed away the bile that rose, thoroughly disgusted by myself.

"I beg to differ." Susan responded, turning her back on me again. "Lucy told me. Apparently he was the one that _found _you." I closed my eyes, the nausea was churning in my stomach. There was no way out of it, especially since Susan was so bloody persistent. She turned around again. Her eyes visibly softer now. "You don't have to lie. I may not be able to handle my brother but I do know him. And whatever is going on between the two of you, it's more than nothing."

I gave her a weak smile. "Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. But it's over now." I murmured and I patted the empty sheets for the lack of being able to do something physical.

"It doesn't have to be Ana. Maybe you'd be able to get rid of that nonsense that's been filling up Peter's head." Susan said coolly. I frowned.

"What nonsense?" Susan sighed exasperated and looked at me.

"This stupid game." She spat. "About Narnia."

I paled. I took a shaky breath and exhaled slowly. "What about Narnia?" She gave me a strange look.

"It was a game we used to play when we were little. During the war." She clarified. "But Lucy, Ed and Peter crossed the line. Thinking it's _real._" My mouth was dry.

"But it is real." I whispered as I eyed the brunette. "It is Susan."

"Oh you _cannot_ be kidding me." She exclaimed. "He has put you up to this, hasn't he? Of all the rotten things he could do." Susan continued.

"Susan." I interrupted. "Narnia is not a game. I've been there too. I'm not sure why you think it's a game but it surely isn't. It's true." Susan scoffed.

"Honestly Ana. That's incredibly childish of you. How could you possibly think that a game like that would be real."

"Because it is." I insisted. My voice was rising and I looked at Susan with frustration colouring my posture. It had me in its grip for I couldn't escape no matter what I did.

"No it's not!" Susan responded stubbornly. It was like looking at a child who was having one of his temper tantrums. Susan's face was flushed and with her wide eyes she may have looked like she just escaped from an asylum. "It's impossible Ana."

"But Susan-" Tears were starting to burn my eyes. Susan cut me off.

"No!" She exclaimed loudly. The door opened behind me and as I turned around I saw a shocked Lucy stand in the doorway.

"What is going on?" She questioned and I bit my lip, pressing them together hoping the tears would be willed away with that. All wishful thinking though. A stray tear fell, the invitation for others to fall.

"Narnia." I brought up weakly. "You never told me Susan stopped believing." I murmured to her and I eyed the shock in Lucy's eyes.

"You told her?" Lucy asked and I nodded.

"It's real." I whispered. "How can't she not see it's real?"

"Oh for pity sake Ana." Susan hissed and she moved past the bed to the doorway. Leaving the room. I fell back against the bed.

"I thought she knew." I said as Lucy sat down next to me.

"Susan stopped believing when we came back." Lucy elaborated. Her voice was soft but firm. "She convinced herself it was all a game."

"But it's not." I put in.

"I know." Lucy responded. Another knock on the door and I looked up.

"What's wrong with Susan?" Edmund inquired. "She's throwing a fit in the living room." He then saw the tears on my face and his eyes hardened.

"Ana found about Susan and Narnia." Lucy said. Edmund's mouth formed itself to a silent 'oh'.

"I see." Edmund said dryly and I let out a humourless laugh.

"I think I should go." I murmured eventually.

"I agree." Edmund gave me a pointed look and I realized I wasn't welcome now the only person who wanted me in this house has turned into hysterics. All because I mentioned a subject which I thought was familiar to her.

"Edmund." Lucy exclaimed. She then turned to me.

"No Ana. Stay." She gave me a small smile. "Peter will be here soon."

"Then maybe it is best if I left. I know when I'm not welcome." I gave her a weak smile and she frowned.

"Don't listen to Edmund. He doesn't know what he's talking about." Edmund let out a scoff at this but got silenced by the glare Lucy sent him. "Peter would like it if you stayed." I shrugged.

"Let it go Lu." Edmund joined the conversation. "It's obvious she doesn't want anything to do with Peter." I turned my eyes to him. How could he even think that?

"That's not true." I responded. "I just think it would be better if I didn't stick around. That's all."

"Isn't that your solution for everything?" Edmund's harsh voice pierced my skin like a dagger. "Run away from every problem that comes on your path?"

"Edmund!" Lucy exclaimed again. "Stop it!"

"It's true though? She left _us_, not the other way around." Edmund gave me a glare. "And I thought we could trust you."

I pressed my lips together again. I took a shaky breath. "You can trust me." Edmund scoffed.

"If that really was the matter than you would've stayed till we would be able to find a solution." His reference to finding a way back to Narnia was painful to hear. Especially since I realized that the only reason he wanted to pursuit that idea was because he wanted to know whether it worked. So they would be able to go back to Narnia too, one day.

"But I didn't _want_ to go." I defended.

"This isn't _your_ time." Edmund countered. "You cannot stay here."

"Why not?" I asked, a tinge of desperation in my voice. "Why can't I possibly stay? This is my home too." I took a deep breath. "Narnia isn't my home." Edmund turned to me with a murderous glare.

"Narnia may not be your home, but it is the place you came from. And I think it's time you went back." I let out a fry sob. "You are not meant to stay here. But then you had to go and ruin my brother." He raised his hands in anger and I took a step away from him.

"W-what do you mean?" Lucy shuffled her feet. I turned to the younger girl.

"Ana..." She sighed. "He's in love with you. If you left now, he'd be devastated." I blinked a few times. The irrational fog that clouded my judgement slowly faded away, leaving me blank.

The idea of Peter loving me was preposterous, ridiculous, practically impossible. I doubted his feelings were that strong. If they were he surely would've fought for me, right? My throat clenched with emotion. Oh God! He loved me. Me! Out of everyone he chose me.

"I-I d-don't know what to say." I whispered as I sat down on the edge of the bed again.

"Say you'll go back again." I closed my eyes. Ready to shake my head.

"Even if that was possible how would you know I would end up in the right place?" Edmund shrugged.

"That would be a risk we would have to take." I gave him an incredulous look.

"At my expense?" I brought out, my voice thick with tears.

"We have no other choice Ana." He gritted out. "It's the only way to do it."

"Ana." Lucy said in a much softer voice. "Edmund's right. Even though I wouldn't want to hurt my brother but you can't stay _here_." I glanced at the young girl.

"What about Peter?" I whispered. Lucy grimaced.

"He'll manage." Edmund said stonily. "You don't have to worry about that."

"And why not?" I asked, turning to him with a vengeance. "_You _may find this hard to believe but I do care about your brother."More than you know.

"If that were the case you'd fight for him. Regain your dignity." I took a shaky breath, the truth in his eyes almost painful.

"It doesn't matter now." My voice shook and I closed my eyes as tears spilled over.

"Wait." Lucy suddenly brought out. "Edmund, we still have to get the rings." I frowned.

"What rings?" I muttered. Edmund gave me a dirty look. I ignored the reprimand Lucy gave him. His look were almost losing their touch. _Almost_.

"The rings that will bring you back to Narnia." Lucy clarified, she turned to her brother again. "We have to go to Professor Kirke first. He has them." Edmund nodded his head.

"And why can't I go with you?" Edmund rolled his eyes.

"You should stay with your family." Lucy said thoughtfully. "Spend some time with them before you go." I didn't react. I couldn't believe that the matter was settled now.

"When?" I whispered.

"We can leave in the morning." Edmund said. "We will be back the day after tomorrow." Two days. I was only going to be here for two days, before I took part of this ridiculous experiment that would bring me back to Narnia. But even that wasn't certain. An uneasy feeling took over my body and I found myself gasping for breath. I ignored the looks Edmund gave as Lucy wrapped her slim arms around me, trying to offer some comfort.

"I'm sorry." Lucy whispered. "But it's best if we keep this from Peter." I looked at Edmund and his eyes softened. But only a bit. The scowl he wore on his face still remained.

"Keep me from what?" Peter's voice wasn't something I expected and I pulled away from Lucy. Peter's eyes fell on me and he frowned before turning to his younger brother. "What's going on?" He demanded. He got inside the room and slowly closed the door. "Edmund?" He eyed his brother but Edmund pulled away his eyes. "Lucy?"

"Pete, w-we didn't know you'd be here so early." Lucy stammered a bit. Peter's eyes burned a hole in my head.

"What's wrong with her?" A rush of anger went through me. So much for showing me his love.

"Ask _me_, if you want to know." I responded before getting up. I tried to move past him but he wrapped his arm around my waist, barricading the door with his body. Making it impossible for me to escape. My head was pressed against his shoulder and as I heard the angry voice of Edmund behind me I couldn't help but notice that Peter still hadn't let me go, despite I had stopped my struggling almost immediately.

_**XXXXXX**_

I thought there would be a lot of yelling, protest from Peter's side. But there was nothing like that at all. In fact, the only thing I heard was Peter agreeing with everything Edmund said. I reckon that would've boosted Edmund's ego. Knowing that Peter agreed with him for once. Lucy was with them as well, leaving me alone in Susan's room. Susan hadn't come back yet and I assumed that she had left the house, probably with her current boyfriend Jeffrey. I sighed and I turned around, leaning against the wall as I tried to ignore the stabs of hurt I felt as they discussed their next move. The move that would include me.

The idea of going back wasn't something that I wanted, I wanted to stay. Here, four years from own my time. Here, in which I was surrounded with familiarity again. Not a place in which I would be drowning on dry land. Tears spilled over and I took a shaky breath. Trying to resist this wasn't going to help either.

Unless I left right now.

I could do that. I eyed the hallway, it was empty and neither Peter nor the younger siblings were paying attention to me. Before I knew it I was standing in the hallway moving to the stairs. My feet were quickening their pace and before I knew it I was running out of the living room. Mrs. Pevensie surprised cry was thoroughly ignored and the front door slammed shut behind me. The cold wind assaulted my face and the rain poured down with a vengeance. I was holding onto my dress and I cursed myself for not grabbing my coat before I ran outside. My feet splashed in the puddles as they gathered water from the rain. To my horror I could hear someone call out my name.

I quickened my pace again as I ran through the street. The few people who were there were eyeing me with surprise and confusion. I couldn't blame them though, for I looked like death was on my heels. I rounded the corner and pulled to a stop, leaning against a brick wall heavily. I just couldn't believe what I had just done. I ran away.

I just bloody ran away from my problems.

Suddenly the aching truth of Edmund's words pushed through my mind. He was right. I sank through my legs and balanced my weight on my heels. I ran my hands through my hair before I pulled them to my mouth. I formed a fist and bit down on the knuckles to keep myself from crying. The pain I inflicted on myself was bearable.

"Ana." Peter's voice startled me and I screamed before I quickly cut it off. I got to my feet, rather clumsily, as I eyed the tall Pevensie. My feet were spurring me to run, my brain was yelling me to run. But one part of me, the one that kept this alive told me to stay.

I couldn't do much, just look at him with wide eyes. I couldn't decipher what he was feeling right now. His posture revealed nothing but being calm and collected. The only thing that would betray that would be his eyes. For they were aggravated and full of confusion. He reached out to me and I pulled away, my brain taking the matter in his own hands. He retracted his hand and let out a harsh breath. I hadn't realized that it had stopped raining by now, both of us were thoroughly wet and I suddenly felt like I was transported back to those night I first kissed him. In London.

"Ana." He repeated my name and something burned inside of me. He was the only one who was able to evoke such a feeling.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, trying to keep his tenor voice from affecting me so. His incredulous look on my face told me that I should know this. I did.

Before I knew it he had taken a step in my direction and I was pushed against the wall behind me as he loomed over me with his height. His hands were on either side of me, making an escape practically impossible. Especially with him leaning towards me like that. Too surprised to react I let him lean in. He rested his forehead against mine and somehow this felt more intimate than the kiss we shared all those weeks ago.

"You're not running away this time." He whispered. I snapped my eyes to his. His hands were on my waist and as I opened my mouth to say something he cut me off. With a kiss.

_A/N: Thoughts? Lemme know :)_


	19. Wars Were Created Just To Understand

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine!_

_A/N: Okay, so basically I suck! I couldn't keep myself from posting this chapter! I was far too hyped up too! So I hope you guys will like it and thank you for the response :) **BUT** there are some adult situations here and I thought of changing the rating to M. But it wasn't thát graphic, then again, whatever you think I should do! If you're too young or feel uncomfortable reading it, I suggest you skip to the end! Because I wouldn't want any unhappy readers saying they felt uncomfortable! So with that said, hopefully you guys will enjoy this :) We're reaching the climax! Quite literally actually! Sorry, no pun intended!_

_**Wars Were Created Just To Understand The Meaning**_

I wasn't sure how long we stayed there. Attached to the lips, all I knew was I didn't want it to end. I was holding on to his shoulders as my knees weakened with the emotions that ran through me. His lips were soft, yet demanding. He was provoking me, drawing me out. And I was responding. I had my hand in his hair, softly pulling at the locks of hair as he pressed his chest against mine. The burning that appeared in my body with every touch was almost unbearable. I wanted more, I needed more. I wanted to feel his skin, I wanted him to _feel_ me. His hand moved down the small of my back and at some point I arched my back into him as he drew a sound of my throat. He pulled away his lips from mine but we were still in our intimate embrace. Slowly his lips began to draw a path down my throat, up my jaw. To the base of my neck. I was breathing harshly, my chest heaving up and down. Shocks of pleasure twisting inside of me. My knees were weak and I found myself fisting his shirt in my hands to keep myself steady. His hands then moved to the back of my thighs where they remained. Somewhere in the process my eyes were close yet I could still feel his every move. I opened my eyes slowly and was surprised to see Peter's eyes dark with this newfound lust we discovered in each other.

"You love me." I whispered and his eyes widened. I brushed my finger against his swollen lips before kissing him again. More gentle this time, but by no means less passionate. The way he parted his lips intrigued me, and I craved more. But then he had to pull away and I found myself looking at him with the strangest impression of hurt and confusion.

"Pete."

"We shouldn't..." He trailed off and I let out a dry laugh.

"You love me." I pointed out. I knew that this wasn't the way to express your own love by pointing out someone else's affection for you. But if I was going to fall I needed him to break it. Because I couldn't hurt any more than I was hurting right now. Something was wrong with me, yes. I knew that. But he could fix it.

He looked at me and for the first time I s_aw_ it. And by it I mean love. I could see it. And now I needed to feel it. "Ana." The way he whispered my name made me press myself closer to him. I made him say my name like that. No one else could. Except for me.

"Please say yes." I croaked and I took a fearful breath. I felt his hand brush the side of my neck.

"You're leaving." He informed me and I shook my head.

"Not by choice." I retorted. "I don't want to leave." I said to him and I eyed his reaction. I could see the dilemma as it played out on his face.

"But you have to." He said. His voice low and I found myself leaning up to his lips again. I brushed against his lip softly, almost like a breeze.

"I love you." I whispered and I felt his posture freeze. "And we might be running out of choices but I do love you." Before I knew it he had pushed me against the wall again, his lips fervently seeking mine. I gladly returned the favour and tried to put as much emotion in the kiss. I wanted him to feel the raw passion of my affection. I wanted him to know that some words are meant forever. And the words I said were meant for him.

"Show me." I suddenly said as we broke apart for air. "I want you to show me." I was pushing it. Really I was. But if this was going to be my last night with him. Then I was going to make the best out of it. I felt his hands tighten their grip on my hips and I put my hands on his chest. I was too afraid to look at him. I was fragile right now, I was exposed, and I was pushing my luck. Such a combination was always meant to make things awkward for at least one of us. I swallowed the emotion through my throat as it tightened with fear. My mouth felt dry.

"What did you say?" His voice was low and I felt the expectations way heavily on my shoulders. I took a chance and I looked into his eyes. They were filled with surprise. He leant towards me. "What did you say?" He repeated and I closed my eyes.

"Make love to me." I whispered. "Show me." In return I felt his lips on me. I felt like I was burning up despite the cold weather. I was warm, warm inside Peter's arms.

"Ana, we don't have to do anything." He was giving me a way out. I shook my head and put my hand on his cheek.

"I want to." He looked at me briefly, his blue eyes pulling me in and before I knew it his lips were attached to mine again. I could get used to this. I pushed myself on my toes and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Lips to lips, chest to chest, heart to heart. "Please..."

"Okay." And just like that I had his consent.

I didn't remember how we ended up back in his apartment. It was like I had blocked out everything once I stood in the doorway. Nothing had changed in my absence and I let Peter pull me inside as he closed the door behind me gently. Both of us were soaked, the rain really was pouring. But this was Britain, it always rained. Suddenly the anxiety came up. The severity of my request. Or should I say demand. He pulled off his coat and the wet fabric made a heavy noise as he hung it up on the hat stand. I took a deep breath as the butterflies ran havoc in my stomach. They were clawing their way up my throat and I found myself speechless. Suddenly his eyes fell on me and he softened.

"There is no rush Ana. We don't have to-" I cut him off. I didn't want a way out of my issues. I wanted this. So much! I needed this.

"I want to." He gave me a small smile and he pulled me close to him. I rested my face against his shoulder. "You just have to help me. I haven't-" I felt my face flush and pulled away. I felt his hands cup my face.

"Stop thinking." Peter whispered and I nodded.

I let him pull me into his bedroom. I had shrugged out of my shoes and so had he. He sat me down on his bed and gently removed my stockings. A rush of affection went through me as I realized how gentle he was being with me. How patient. He grabbed my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles and suddenly my fear dissipated. Just like that every sense of anxiety fell to the background and I focused on the one thing that mattered most. Peter. I stood up and started to unbutton his shirt. Slowly his pale skin revealed itself and it was glowing in the pale light. I kissed the spot above his chest and the shirt was discarded on the wooden floor. I looked at Peter and I drowned in the rush of anticipation. So this was it...

I raised my arms and I felt him pull of my dress, leaving me in my underwear. While feeling horribly exposed I couldn't help but wonder whether it was enough. Peter bent towards me and he kissed the side of my neck. His stubble tickling the delicate skin. I pressed myself closer to Peter and realized that I liked feeling his bare skin on mine. It was certainly new, but something I could get used to. If it would occur again. "Breathe Ana." I smiled and took a deep breath. I gently reached for his belt and before I knew it, it was undone and both of us were only left in our unmentionables. He reached out and grasped my hand. I gave him a cautious look and he pressed his lips against mine.

The anticipation was gone. Because the moment was here. I knew there would be consequences. Pre-marital sex wasn't something that should be done so easily. But given the circumstances. The situation. Our love. It was justified. If it were up to me, I would've stayed here. I would've want to marry him. But I wasn't. This was our night and thinking about the aftermath was silly. I wanted to remember this, remember how I felt. I wanted to remember him. Us, like this.

I felt the back of my knees hit the bed and Peter ran his hand down my side before gently lifting me up and disposing me on the bed. The ceiling was dark and I could hear sounds from outside. The few cars that were still driving at this time. Peter's face came in view and he rested his weight on his forearms as he gently pressed some weight on me. I liked his weight on top of me. His bare chest was hard and his stomach well defined. I ran my hand down his chest to his hips. The soft sound he made only encouraging me. His calloused hands ran up my legs and he bunched up my chemise around my waist. I took the initiative myself and tugged at the restraining clothing myself. Peter pulled me up by my arm and I raised my arms against as he took off the chemise. Leaving me bare in front of him. I fell against the soft mattress as he pressed his lips against mine. The love in his eyes filling me up.

"You're beautiful."

I ignored the insecurity that bubbled inside my chest, despite his words and let him explore my bare skin without restrictions. He pulled away his lips from mine and slowly drew a path down my skin. He gently kissed the skin on my throat, nipping it with his teeth and I gasped as a wave of pleasure shook my insides. His lips moved to my collar bone before making the journey down the valley of my breasts. His hands holding my hips as he caressed my sides with his thumbs. I bit my lip. If all this was making me feel like I'll come undone than I didn't want to know what he had next for me. Slowly he pulled down my slip and I realized I was now completely naked. To draw the attention away from my insecurities I pulled at his boxers and then both of us were bare.

We were breathing heavily again, as the situation hung above our heads. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled in for a kiss. There was no need for being gentle now. I could see him and he could see me. Slowly things started to heat up and I clung to his skin, wanting to feel more of him than I possibly could. His mouth was demanding and his hands were losing their patience as he roamed over my skin, touching, caressing, kneading. I hissed in pleasure and responded by digging my hands in his skin, my nails leaving marks, wondering if he felt them at all. I was thoroughly enjoying this, the sounds that escaped my mouth were prove enough.

"Ana." His voice was filled with lust, deepening it. "I have to-"

"Do it." I whispered.

In less than a second he was inside of me. Filling me up and I gasped with the sensation. His forehead crushed against my shoulder as our hips started to move. The sting that indicated my lack of experience was slowly fading and the uncomfortable feeling made place for a burning, something that I wanted more of. I arched my back in to him and I felt him push. Our sounds filling up the bedroom. Marking our place. A pressure was built and I found myself gasping with the new sensation. I breathed out his name and in a split seconds both of us let loose. His weight fell on me and spots dominated my vision. Our limbs still shaking with the after effects.

I took shaky breaths and my chest heaved as Peter slowly rolled off me. The cold assaulted me and I protested, I pulled him back. He responded by kissing my neck and sighed. The peace that now engulfed me was more than pleasant and I realized I was smiling, quite broadly. I murmured something incoherently and Peter pulled himself up. Our bodies were slick with sweat and the salty taste of his skin made me crave for more. I pushed myself up and kissed him.

"I said." I began as I pulled away. "that I loved you." The affection on his face was heart warming and I shivered as he bent down and showed me his love. For he had no words to express himself. I gladly let myself be lost, the feel of his skin was magical. And I cursed the person who was trying to pull me away from this. I parted my lips and whispered his name again. I tried to memorize every inch of his skin. Every mark, every scar, every inch of perfection. Our legs were entwined and he rolled to his side again, pulling me into his arms again. Our lips still attached as I let my hands roam.

"How can I let you go now?" He said as he pulled away, the pain in his voice pulling at my heartstrings. I felt the lump in my throat. I rested my hand on his chest.

"Don't let me go." Peter sighed and I knew that resisting wasn't an option nor a possibility.

"Ana." He brought out difficulty and I sighed.

"I know." I whispered and I pressed my face into his skin. The tears dampening his skin too. I let out a shaky breath, betraying my emotions and he turned his attention to me. He pulled himself on top of me again and kissed me harshly. I clung to his shoulders.

"Stop thinking." I nodded and kissed him again, the taste of him never boring me.

Our second time more raw and passionate than the first.

_**XXXXX**_

"I can't believe I have to miss out on that." I said. Hoping to the lighten up the air. I turned to the blond Pevensie next to me as I pulled up the sheets to my shoulders.

"You're telling me." He responded and I glanced at him with a grin on my face. The atmosphere was lightened up and even though the tense fact of my departing still hung around, we were able to focus on the here and now. I ran my hand up and down his arm. The rough exterior of his skin fascinating me. How could he be this gentle? I pressed closer to him. The idea of leaving hurting more than ever.

He twisted and turned around, laying on his stomach as he ran his hand over my stomach. I sighed and pecked his forehead. Fatigue was present, but somehow I couldn't bear the idea of sleeping now. We already had so little time, why waste it with sleeping? "You look tired." He whispered. Our voices were soft, as if we didn't want to disturb this little time.

"I'm not." I lied and I shifted my head in the crook of his neck. Taking in his scent.

"If you put just as much effort in lying as you do in running away from me I might've believed you." I gasped before I slapped his shoulder. He flinched before kissing me softly. "I'm just pulling your leg."

"I know that."

I sighed and for a while the only thing you could hear was the clock. Indicating it was two in the morning. I sighed when suddenly a sick feeling churned in my stomach. I sat up straight, quite abruptly, my head spinning dizzily. I fell back on the pillow as I realized what this meant. I tried to swallow away the fear but it was clawing its way up my throat. I heard Peter's voice come from far and I gasped.

"Ana?" Peter was sitting up right as he brushed away strands of hair. "What's wrong?" I looked at him. Panic evident.

"It's two in the morning." I croaked. "And I'm not home yet." My father was going to kill me!

"Bloody hell." Peter murmured and I realized that both of us had forgotten that I had a home to be and I hadn't told anyone where I was. My father must be having a heart attack. Both of us stumbled out of the bed, quickly getting dressed. My clothes were still damp but not uncomfortably so. Once dressed we stumbled out of his apartment. Running back to my house. Suddenly I couldn't help it, I started laughing and pulled to a stop on the corner of the street. Peter looked at me with an incredulous look on his face.

"Ana, there is no time for fooling around. Come on." He grabbed my hand and he pulled me along with him. Running all the way. Finally we arrived back home and I saw that the lights were still on. I was in so much trouble. I pulled Peter to a stop again.

"He's going to be really angry." I told him and Peter shrugged, looking a little less than panicky himself. I realized that his must be the first time we would have to justify our whereabouts.

"I'll take the blame!" He said casually and I raised my eyebrows.

"Absolutely not! This is just as much my fault as it is yours." I told him. The door suddenly opened and there stood my father in the doorway. The anger showing on his face. "Let me do the talking." I whispered but Peter was already talking.

"Sir, it was all my fault. We had lost track of t-" My dad held up his hand and motioned us to come inside.

"Could I speak with my daughter Peter?" My dad said coolly once we were inside. "Alone?" Peter looked at me and nodded. I gave him an incredulous look.

"Dad, whatever you have to say. You can say it in front of him." I said quickly. I eyed my father with wide eyes. Hoping he would go easy on me if Peter was near.

"Alone, please." My dad repeated and he eyed the foyer with a hard look. I swallowed again.

"But D-dad I-" I tried.

"NOW!" The sheer volume of his voice startled me and I took a step backwards, backing up against Peter. He grabbed my shoulders and gave me a gentle push.

"Go." My dad's eyes narrowed at Peter's touch and I quickly walked to the foyer. My aunt was sitting there and when she saw me she gave a loud cry.

"Oh God!" She exclaimed. I could see faint tear tracks on her face. "You're alright." She pulled me into an embrace, almost squeezing the oxygen out of my body. I spluttered. She pulled away and gave me a hard stare. The anger setting in. "Where have you been, young lady?"

"I-I." I stammered and my father closed the door behind him before giving me a harsh look.

"Well?" My aunt urged.

"I was with Peter." I whispered. My aunt let out a gasp.

"Peter? Peter Pevensie?" She looked confused. "But I thought-" My father cut of his sister.

"Do you have any idea how that sounds like Ana?" I swallowed and nodded my head. "No, do you?" He sounded harsh. "You've been off running around with a boy till two in the morning. A boy whom you barely know!" He added and suddenly he slammed his hand on the small desk.

"Hector." My aunt began before she stopped herself.

"What would the neighbours think?" He demanded and I focused my eyes on the floor. I felt the embarrassment set in, but I couldn't deny that I didn't regret my actions. I decided it was best to let him vent before I said something.

"Ana, are you listening?" He suddenly asked, curious about my lack of interest.

"Yes." I said. "And I'm sorry." I apologized. "We just lost track of time!"

"Lost track of time?" My aunt exclaimed. "How could you possibly lose track of time Ana? You're not a child, for heaven's sake." I took a deep breath.

"It won't happen again."

"It better not young lady." I nodded and suddenly my father's voice spoke up. Sounding more tired than ever.

"Maya, do you mind if I spoke to my daughter alone?" She looked at Hector before giving me a look.

"Of course not." She said tightly, obviously hurt and left the room. The second the door closed my father started to pace.

"What is Peter to you?" He suddenly asked. I was getting sick of the silence so I was glad he had interrupted it. But the question caught me off guard.

"Dad he's a friend." I whispered and I realized that he knew was lying. He took a step in my direction before pulling back. The streaks of grey in his hair suddenly looked more prominent in this light.

"Just a friend?" He confirmed. I nodded. "Ana." I looked at him and he pulled me closer to him. "Don't you dare lie to me. Now tell me, what is he to you?" I swallowed thickly. What was I going to say?

_A/N: So how was it? Should I up the rating? Lemme know your thoughts in a review ;)_


	20. You're Always Leaving Me Behind

_**You're Always Leaving Me Behind**_

The conversation had been waltzing around Peter for quite a long time now. But I just couldn't t tell him what it exactly meant. I wasn't sure what my father would think of it and I didn't want him to forbid me from ever seeing him again. I was sitting on a chair as my father paced and kept asking me the same thing over and over again. I closed my eyes as I felt the tears burn. This was not the end I pictured it to be. I shakily got on my feet, wanting to leave the conversation by moving out of the room but my father grabbed me by the hand and pushed me onto the chair again.

"You are not moving. Sit!" He said firmly. "Now tell me, what is Peter to you?" I swallowed away the lump but tears still brimmed and spilled over.

"I love him." I whispered shakily, too scared to even look my father in the eye.

"I beg your pardon?" He sounded incredulous which indicated he had heard me the first time.

"I said." I began turning my face to my father. His green eyes shocked. "That I love him." The shocked look scared me and I quickly averted my gaze again.

"Since when?" I shrugged. My father crouched down in front of me. "Ana?"

"I don't know since when. I can't give you an exact date or time." I hissed. My father sighed.

"There were many scenarios that I've thought of when you hadn't come home. Every one worse than the other." The fear in his voice leaking on to me. "I thought you were gone again." Guilt appeared. Of course, I just came back and they thought something had happened and I was gone again. I looked at my father as his face was bent towards the floor. "The idea of losing you again..." He trailed off.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I am so sorry." Suddenly realizing I wasn't just apologizing for my absence a few hours ago. I was also apologizing for the upcoming absence. The one that would happen in more than a day. Another wave of tears rushed over me and I wrapped my arms around my father. I always felt so small in his arms, I've always felt like that but somehow it was even more apparent now.

"Don't ever do that again." My dad warned. I knew he wasn't angry anymore.

"I won't." I lied. Knowing that I had no other choice but to lie. "I'm sorry." I apologized again. I pulled away. "Aren't you going to say anything about Peter?" I realized he hadn't said a word about that.

"Should I?" He asked and I shrugged.

"I don't know, do you want to?" He shook his head and I gave him another hug. "I'm sorry."

"I know." He whispered and he slowly let me go. "Now why don't you go and saw goodbye to Peter. I'm sure he must be nervous." I let out a small laugh at the slight teasing tone that had appeared in my father's voice.

"Off you go." I smiled and nodded getting back to my feet. Peter was still standing in front of the front door and when he saw me I gave him a nervous smile. He frowned. I quickly made my way over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"It's alright." I said quickly. "No harm done." I pulled away and he let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank Aslan." He murmured and I smiled at the indication of his knowledge of Narnia. "I thought I was going to piss my pants."

"You sure looked like you were going to." I teased and he sent me a glare. I rolled my eyes and gave him a chaste kiss. "Will you come by tomorrow?"

"I'm sure he'll come Ana. Now why don't you let him go." My father's voice came from behind and I let Peter go quickly. Taking a step to increase the distance. He sent Peter a sincere smile. "I don't mind." He said naturally. "Just no more staying out after ten."

"Dad." I moaned but I quickly shut my mouth.

"Now Peter. Nice to see you again my boy." Peter shook his head and I smiled at the lack of using his voice. "Good night." I realized my father was slowly working Peter out of the door.

"Sorry." I mouthed to Peter and he nodded. I gave him another kiss. "Good night."

"You too." And he opened the front door before closing it behind him.

"That boy is utterly in love with you." Aunt Maya piped up and I turned around to see her stand next to my father. She gave my father a nudge. My father grumbled.

"Sure, sure." He mumbled and he ascended the stairs.

"Off to bed now." My aunt urged and I followed my father. My bed would feel awfully cold now.

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

The upcoming day was spent doing absolutely nothing. I realized that it was spending my time in a good way. Just being with him, doing nothing but kiss every once and a while. It was easy to do, like this natural habit and it astound me how easily I fell in step beside him. As if we knew so much more about each other than we both originally thought. But then again, the thought of going back to Narnia was evil on its own. I would be back, all alone. And hope I could find a way back. I doubted that the Pevensies from 'my time' would still be there. As Lucy had explained, they had a very different time loop from ours. So going back to Narnia after almost six months would be like going to the Narnia 600 years from what I remember. They had given me strict orders to follow. Find Aslan. They told me I was going to be fine, but I was going to be alone. And the idea of being alone frightened me. But no more than leaving Peter here. He hadn't said anything about how he felt, his views about me leaving were completely off topic. I didn't push it either. For once, I let him be. I didn't want to open a can of worms I wouldn't be able to close.

Susan hadn't spoken to me at all, in fact, she ignored me. According to Peter she ignored every Pevensie and spent most of her time with her boyfriend Jeffrey. I felt bad for ending the brief friendship like this, for I truly did think the Susan we all wanted was there, somewhere. The idea of ending up like Susan was atrocious, yet an option that would come true if everything went wrong. I realized that I lost the ability to picture myself without Peter. My life was so utterly entwined with his that imagining without the other possibly hurt far too much.

"What are you thinking of?" Peter whispered as he bent over my bare shoulder. His breath fanned my skin and it evoked a shiver. He wrapped his arm around my stomach and I leant against his chest. We were alone in his apartment and as I eyed the clock on the wall I realized that we had spent our time in bed for more than five hours now. It was four in the morning.

"Nothing important." I mumbled and I turned around. I had told my father that I was staying at Mrs. Pevensie' house. He didn't mind, he never even checked whether I truly was there. I had told them my goodbyes already and it was strange to see them react as if nothing was wrong. I didn't show them what I was feeling. I just hugged both of them a little tighter than usual before I left. Staying with Peter was easier. For it would ease the hassle.

"How come you never tell me the truth?" I eyed his face and shrugged.

"What good would it do Pete?" I whispered. "I'm going anyways. With or without my consent." He let out a harsh breath and I shivered.

"Look!" He began and I snapped my eyes to his. "I don't want you to go either, but I'm not going to let you stay here while knowing that someday you will be sent back to your own time. I'm not going through that, so I rather you left as soon as possible. It'll be easier for the both of us." I let out a dry sob, tears filling my eyes as gravity pulled them down, staining the pillow I was laying on.

"How could you not care?" I croaked out. My voice hoarse with emotion. "It's not going to be easier." I continued. "I know what I can have if I stay here. And you're taking that away." I pressed my lips together hoping to muffle any noise. Peter's arm slid around my waist again but I pushed away sitting up straight. I pulled at the sheet and wrapped it around me as I moved to the small bathroom. I ignored Peter calling out my name and shut the door instead.

I tucked the sheet around me and sat down on the edge of the tub. The tears were still falling and as I bent forward putting my hand in front of my mouth, trying to muffle any sound. The tears stained the sheet as a few tears fell and I heard a knock on the bathroom door. "Ana!" Peter called out and I ignored it again. A hole was being created inside of me and it hurt, so much that I was giving in to it.

"Ana! Open the door." I didn't react and suddenly the knocks were more frequent, one harsher than the other. "Come on! Just open the door Ana and we'll talk. Please?" Suddenly the door was open and I realized that Peter had picked the lock. I gave him an outraged look on which he didn't respond to. Instead he moved to me and wrapped me up in his arms. The sobs ripping my chest.

"You picked the lock?" I accused and he shrugged. I wrapped my arms around the idiot and let everything out. Every single thing that bothered me, that scared me, that hurt me.

"I'm sorry." Peter whispered in my ear and I nodded as the tears slowly disappeared. I pulled away and then I saw the one thing I never ever wanted to see. Tears in his eyes. I rested my forehead against his.

"Don't cry." I whispered and he let out a dry laugh.

"Says the one who couldn't stop." I gave him a watery smile before pecking his lips. "I'll be fine..." He whispered and I nodded, convinced of his strength to pull through. "And so will you." He added. That I didn't agree on. For I was weak and this would pull me down.

"I wouldn't be certain of that." I told him and he gave me a pointed look.

"I am." And he pulled me to a standing position. We left the bathroom and settled on the bed again. "Go to sleep." He said and I shook my head. "Ana, it's no use if you're exhausted. We have till ten o'clock. We'll meet them on the platform, alright? Now go to sleep." I took a deep breath.

"If you'll get some sleep too." He nodded his head and I knew he was lying.

"Come on." He murmured and I wrapped my arms around his waist, inhaling his scent before I let this thick blanket of sleep pull me under. In which time will fly and judgment day will be here. I vaguely recalled him stroking my hair before whispering those three words I was craving to hear on my own. And nothing would do them right.

"I love you."

The sleep that consumed me was welcomed with open arms, for I truly was exhausted.

_**XXXXXXXXXXXX**_

The bench was uncomfortable and I found it hard to sit still. But I wasn't the only person who was having this problem. Peter couldn't keep still either and I saw him stand up every few seconds, only to pace around for a minute or two before taking his spot next to me again. I sighed and couldn't help but smile at the irony. We were sitting on the same bench before I had been transported to Narnia the first time. The irony? I was sitting on it again! I was the only one who found it funny though because Peter sent me a strange look that I brushed off. He returned to his pacing again. I grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop. The platform was bustling with people.

"We have five minutes left Peter. Calm down." He pulled his hand out of mine and didn't say anything but give me a chaste kiss. A stolen kiss indeed.

Edmund, Lucy and Professor Kirke were supposed arrive at 11:10. It was currently 11:05. Time was ticking and both of us were aware of how fickle the whole situation was. One blow and we'd break. We were already breaking though and I felt a tremor shake me. If only there was some kind of possibility that would change things for the better. I hated the option I had now, if only there was a way for me to come back to the Peter I love. I'd do anything. Anything on my behalf. But this was just wishful thinking. A wish that would never be fulfilled, for whatever had pulled me into and out of Narnia was going to be responsible for the damage that was going to be inflicted.

Peter was still pacing and I glanced at him, giving him a grin as I shook my head slightly. He glared again.

"Funny Ana." He muttered and I shrugged scrunching up nose in his direction. He rolled his eyes and muttered something beneath his breath. Incoherent for me to hear.

Another minute passed and I felt the anxiety weigh heavily on me. It was like I was being caged and the cage was slowly growing smaller. The air thinner. My breaths shorter. The tightness of chest more painful until there was nothing left. It was as if I was arranging my own death and I fervently hoped there was a way to free me from the cage I was thrown in. My desperation slowly turning into something more painful.

"Pete."I whispered and he took a few steps to me. I eyed the clock. "It's time." I whispered and the look was something I was never going to forget. Never!

"Okay, here goes." He muttered and I got to my feet. We were waiting for the signal. Waiting for the train. The indication that the people who we were waiting for were coming.

None came.

I frowned.

"Peter, something's wrong." My worry nauseated me and I grabbed Peter's hand and held on to it as suddenly I felt a tight feeling around my chest. I gasped. At the same time I heard the worst noise there would be.

It was as if everything slowed down from that point. The screeching sound turned into a shriek. A high shriek that was inhuman. There was a loud crash and I met Peter's eyes wide with shock. The hit that pushed me off my feet. Slamming me into the concrete. The pain. The hot pain that burned through my skin, weakening every fibre of my being. As my vision tilted. And the one thing I could only care about was that Peter's hand wasn't in mine anymore.

I wasn't aware of the screams. The people who were terrified and screamed. The dust and copper taste in my mouth. The fact that smoke clouded my view and I shook with fear were enough to keep preoccupied. I realized that I was one of the people screaming and I tried to scramble back to my feet but the only thing I could do was lie on the ground, on my back, as every sense slowly returned. Panic clouded my rational thoughts and I cried out.

"Peter?" There was no response and I moved to my stomach as I crawled in any direction. Hoping it would lead to Peter. "Pete?" I yelled again but there was no response. In fact, besides the screams of the people who were still alive there was no noise at all. The silence terrifying.

Oh God! Why wasn't he responding?

Slowly the smoke cleared up and I was able to make out any shape. There was so much dust and smoke that it hurt to breathe and I coughed as I inhaled dust. On my hands and knees I moved through the rubble. My ears tearing up with horror. In the corner of my eye I was met with a crimson liquid and my stomach turned around. I heaved and put the back of my hand in front of my mouth. There was so much blood and somehow I was able to smell the copper liquid. I pushed myself back on my feet and stumbled through this horrible mess when finally I fell to the ground again.

And there he was.

I gasped. "No, no, no, no, no." I murmured with a sick feeling in my stomach. I reached out and he still felt warm. There was no movement though and tears fell as I shook him, hoping to wake him up. "Come on Pete." I sobbed. "Wake up!" But the only thing I was confronted with was the fact that his eyelids were shut and there was no beat that would indicate his life. The truth washed over me and I stopped breathing. "Oh please no."

Suddenly the concrete beneath my knees softened and other noises came. I blinked as somehow my vision blurred and I felt light. My body weightless in the horrible experience. I tried to move but I couldn't and I blinked a few times to clear out my vision. I had to see him, I couldn't leave him when suddenly there wasn't anything there to see. No platform, no rubble, not dust, no smoke.

No Peter.

Only grass.

I fell down with a gasp and my head collided with the soft soil as I heard the soft chipper of birds. Something entirely else than the screams I heard only a few seconds before. I put my hands on the ground and moved up. I glanced around. It was light even though the trees were like towers. I thought they would block out everything but somehow this felt so peaceful. So different then from what I was feeling right now. I turned around and was confronted with the broken pieces of a mirror. I gasped.

"No." I whispered when suddenly a shadow loomed over my frame. I grabbed a piece of glass and eyed it with distaste and strange familiarity. Tremors shook my body and I gasped for air. "This isn't happening."

I turned my head when a twig snapped and in my blurry vision I saw the one thing I didn't knew existed. I screamed.

_Disclaimer : Nothing is mine!_

_A/N: So basically you guys can hate me right now! I hated the fact I had done this too! But she's back! And now what? Anyways, thank you for the response but I have so much more up my sleeve for Ana and Peter. So this story isn't over yet! So please let me know your thoughts! Even though you hate me :S_


	21. And Death Shall Have No Dominion

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine._

_A/N: I know, there is no excuse that would explain the delay of this chapter. I am incredibly sorry you guys! I know, stupid! But anyways, I hope you're still around :) I loved the response for the last chapter :D It was very unexpected. It seems as you guys know me better than I thought :P Anyways, this chapter was quite emotional and stuff! But somehow I had to write it, despite I'm completely happy! I just found out that I **PASSED **my exams! That's brilliant nah? I'm so proud :D And well happy xD Anyways, here is the next chapter and enjoy :)_

_Song used, and I really recommend it because it sets the tone of this story, **The Rule of the Parabolani **by **Dario Marianelli.**_

**_P.S This piece of one of my favourite poems was the reason that I wanted to write this fic! After I got over the fact that it wasn't a joke anymore, I realized that I truly wanted to continue this. So when I read this poem again, and I recommend it, I got an idea by one of the lines. "Though lovers be lost, love shall not." I think it is THE quote that shows the love that Peter and Ana have :) Hopefully you guys will agree! Enjoy!_**

_**And Death Shall Have No Dominion**_

_And death shall have no dominion.  
__Dead mean naked they shall be on  
__With the man in the wind and the west moon;  
__When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,  
__They shall have stars at elbow and foot;  
__Though they go mad they shall be sane,  
__Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;  
__Though lovers be lost love shall not;  
__And death shall have no dominion._

**- Dylan Thomas**

My throat was hurting with the amount of screaming it had to endure. My hands were grasping the pieces of glass so tightly that the sharp edge cut open my skin, drawing blood. But I felt none of that, the only thing I felt was fear and panic. Both clouding every thought of trail. Peter was dead. That was the only thing that repeated itself in my head like a mantra. That he was dead and not coming back. I just lost the person I loved. My arms shook and I found myself crawling away from the strange creature in front of me. It was gigantic, black fur, horns. I screamed again as I scrambled further away from it.

"Diomedus, stop!" A foreign voice called out and I leant on my hand, adrenaline rushing through my veins like some kind of drug. It withheld me from every possible escape. I couldn't think, I couldn't function. I couldn't even feel the pain my body was enduring. The wreckage that I was a part of had left its mark on me physically and they were slowly eating away every resistance they came across. I felt my arms shake as the owner of the voice appeared. He was tall and his skin was tan. His dark hair hung to his shoulders and his eyes were alarmed and wide, eying me with shock. It took him less than a minute to recover and he quickly came to my side. I yelped and moved away from the stranger. My hands were trampling the glass and it bore into my skin again, drawing blood.

"Please, I do not mean to harm you." He said with a foreign accent and his warm, rich voice got rid of the shivers that were evoking goose bumps. I took a shaky breath as he crouched down next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I flinched and tears spilled over. His eyes fell on the blood. "You are bleeding." He informed and he grasped my bloody hand in his taking the shard of glass out of my grip. He then ripped a part of his tunic and wrapped it around the gash. I looked at it blankly. "What's your name?"

"Ana." I muttered blandly. "My name is Ana."

"Ana." He tasted the name on his foreign tongue. "My lady, what are you doing here?"

I frowned. "I-I don't know. I was w-waiting for the t-train to come." I muttered. "But it crashed." I finished.

"What is a train. My lady?" Caspian gave me a worried look, as if he was doubting my sanity. Hang on. Caspian.

I heard that name before.

Caspian. Caspian. Oh God, he was Caspian. He was the king I was looking for. The king the Pevensies were looking for.

"You're Caspian." I stated and he nodded slowly.

'Yes. But my lady you are injured." He pointed out and before I knew it he had swept me up in his arms. I swallowed the nausea. "I will take you somewhere safe."

"No, wait!" I protested. "I can't come with you. I-I h-have to look for s-someone else."

"Who might that be?"

"I-I can't tell you." I said quietly and I looked at my hands. The strange presence of fatigue had a chokehold on me and all I truly wanted was to sleep. But it seemed that sleep wouldn't be such a bright thing to do in my current condition. So I forced my eyes to stay open.

"What is that?" I asked as I eyed Diomedus from a distance. He had a protective stance behind Caspian and the axe in his hands looked dangerous, if it fell in wrong hands. I refrained the urge to hide. Caspian looked at my gaze before adjusting me in his arm again. He jostled my body and a sharp pain went through me. I gasped loudly.

"I'm sorry, you are worse off than I first expected." He said kindly and I shook my head.

"It doesn't matter. But tell me, what is that? I mean, I know that Narnia animals can talk but is he Narnian too?" I rested my head on his shoulder.

"You know about the Narnians?" Caspian asked surprised.

"Of course I do. I was told by P-..." I trailed off. "By a friend of mine." Caspian gave me a strange look before he focused on the path ahead of us.

"And this friend of yours. Is he in Narnia too?" I felt my eyes fill up with tears. My heart ached slowly and thoroughly. Each stab of pain leaving no room for another, yet it repeated itself over and over again. It felt like my chest was being squeezed so tightly that it was crushing my heart. Breaking it into a million pieces. And those million pieces were scattered all over the place for everyone to see. I put my hand on my chest taking a deep breath, but I exhaled with a broken sob.

"My lady?" Caspian stopped and I shook my head. Tears escaped my eyes, running down my cheeks.

"Please. I don't want to talk about it."

"Of course. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." Caspian apologized and by the uncomfortable glister in his eyes I knew that this must be incredibly awkward.

We continued our walk until suddenly we were met by more Narnian creatures. All of them so majestic and big that I couldn't believe my eyes. So I truly was back in Narnia. But where was I exactly? And should I tell them my plan? Should I tell them what I was doing here? Who I truly was? I sighed and shut my eyes. Caspian's embrace wasn't as warm as Peter's. Nor were his arms as strong. Or maybe it was just me. But Caspian oozed kindness from every pore of his being whereas Peter showed his dominance with one look. Maybe I was looking too much into it. After all, Peter was dead. He wasn't coming back. And this was Caspian, no need to compare.

I couldn't think properly because of the pain so I decided to pull away when suddenly I was eased down on something soft. The rays of sun were being held back by the trees but few of them escaped their clutches and they radiated warmth. A mellow softness that would've soothed me before. But everything was black and white now. Everyone else was white and I was the only black part. Ruining every single thing. The mandarin coloured light assaulted me through my eyelids and sang me into darkness. But somehow it wasn't as dark as I thought it'd be. Snippets of conversation, words spoken by strangers, penetrated my eardrums and I listened to them closely. Despite the fact it didn't make any sense to me at all. I slowly fluttered my eyes and ignored the stab of pain that went through my head once confronted with the brightness of my surroundings.

"You should be lying down." A voice told me as I sat up straight. I turned my spinning head towards the voice and my eyes widened. In front of me was a horse. Or something like that, because technically he was half human and half horse. I racked my brains for the answer.

Centaur. It was a centaur.

The centaur had long dark hair, reaching the swell in which she turned into a horse. It was a female centaur, seeing the faint swell on her chest and her soft features. I gave her a blank stare before I took a deep breath, shaking my head. It only increased the spinning and I quickly stopped.

"I am fine." I told her and she pressed her lips together in disbelief.

"As you wish." She then turned her back on me. Leaving me alone, just as my posture was telling her.

The Narnians eyed me either with distrust or confusion. Some were curious and asked questions. Who I was, I barely answered them for I only had eye for one thing. I wanted to get out of here. I was planning to leave. I had to find Aslan. Only he could take me back to the London of my time. To my home. Sitting here, doing absolutely nothing wouldn't help me at all and I took a shaky breath as I thought of ways to escape. I could either run now and be caught immediately. For I knew that were thinking I was some spy. Hence the distrust. But I could also wait for the night to fall and then take my leave. It wasn't as safe and easy as I had planned back in London. I hadn't expected to stay longer in Narnia for a day. For I thought Aslan would come to me as well. But somehow, there were twists in the plan. My armour was breaking and I had to fix it somehow. So it was settled. Tonight, I'd go.

I just hope they won't go looking for me.

Caspian had disappeared somewhere and I was already skimming the Narnians, hoping to find the dark haired Prince. A part of me was expecting him to linger, maybe he'd provide me some company. Then again, he had other issues to think about I was sure. I wondered what he was doing here in the forest. Suddenly a loud sound appeared from a few yards ahead of us. It sounded like metal being smashed against metal and I quickly jumped to my feet. Without faltering I ran as fast as I could. Ignoring my fatigue, the spinning sensation of my head. Somehow I felt that something was going on and I had to be there. Somehow I was still clothed in my red dress from London. It was an indication I wasn't stupid and imagining things. It reminded me of what had happened on the platform.

With Peter.

The sound neared now and I could see a blur of dark hair move. Caspian. His sword was above his head, colliding with another sword. My eyes ran down the familiar pattern of the sword to the owner when suddenly they moved and everything blurred again. Caspian's opponent struck his sword and Caspian ducked in order to avoid the blow. The sword got stuck into the trunk of the tree and Caspian granted him a kick to his legs. He fell on his back and suddenly a wave of shock went through me. I would recognize that hair everywhere. In the light it shone like gold and as he crawled to a rock before rising on his feet made my legs weak. I faltered slightly. Peter?

Peter raised the rock above his head and I screamed out loudly.

"NO!" He stopped moving as his eyes met mine.

This couldn't be possible. I saw him on the platform. He wasn't moving. I saw him die. He was dead. He couldn't possibly be here with me right now. He couldn't be standing in front of me, fighting Caspian for no matter. Had I truly gone mad now? I blinked a few times, maybe he'd disappear, like before only this time it would've been a hallucination. My feet moved on their own accord towards Peter and he dropped the rock as he whispered my name. I reached out and my hand touched the soft fabric of his tunic. My eyes blurred with tears and I gasped, taking deep breaths.

"Peter?" I murmured and I crushed myself to his body. My hands were on his face, tracing his features with great care. My hand found the spot on his chest, his heart beating beneath my hand. "You're alive." I said softly and I pressed my lips against his briefly. "I thought you were dead." I whispered against his lips. I closed my eyes, letting the tears spill and quickly savoured his taste. God, he was here. He was here.

"Ana, what are you talking about? Of course I'm not dead." Peter replied surprised. His sharp blue eyes taking in my appearance, halting when seeing my dress. "And why did you run? We've been looking for your for so long." He stopped talking as his eyes suddenly skimmed over my appearance."Ana, how did you get that dress? And why are you so dirty? You're covered in... Is that blood?" I closed my eyes before wrapping my arms around his neck, pressing my lips against his neck. He still smelled the same.

"I went back to London." I whispered. I felt him wrap his arms around me and as his hands touched my back I hissed and flinched.

"What?" Paying no attention to that. "You went back to London?" He repeated and I nodded.

"I-I."I stammered. My tongue suddenly weakening as everything felt sluggish. There were slashes of pain on my back, leaving a trail of fire in its wake and I pulled away putting on of my hands on my back. It came back sticky and I eyed the blood on my hands with confusion. Suddenly my eyes fell on Peter's hands and saw it was coated in the same red liquid that stained my hands. I could see the shock on his face when suddenly every ounce of adrenaline and delightful shock left my body. I fell into Peter and he grabbed hold of my shoulders yelling out my name.

I wasn't quite sure when my eyes fluttered close. I only know that this time there was no mandarin coloured light assaulting my eyelids. Instead, it was completely black. The way I felt just moments ago.

_A/N: Sorry for the shortness :( I'll update soon, but in the mean time please review :) I love to hear your thoughts :)_


	22. Who Am I To Say I'm Always Yours?

_Disclaimer: Do not own anything. No profit is being made, all creative rights belong to C.S Lewis. -The genius-_

_A/N: And even though I have no excuse whatsoever to explain why I haven't updated this story in almost two months, I hope you guys are still out there, somewhere. Or so I hope. It's been a long time and I actually have an announcement to make. This story is reaching his end. Next chapter, might be, **the last**. I don't know how I exactly feel about that. I wanted to include the ending in this one. But I thought that would be too rash, since I do have a lot to explain yet. Anyways, I hope you guys will still like this chapter! So, enough yapping. I have a feeling I've done that enough. Let me know your thoughts :) Oh and please ignore grammar mistakes, haven't re-read it yet! I'll edit it when I have more time :) Enjoy:_

_Song used **This Love (Will Be Your Downfall) **by** Ellie Goulding**_

_Who Am I To Say I'm Always Yours?_

Everything swirled and whirled in the darkness. Without the colours it still managed to make me dizzy, even though I wasn't moving it still had its impact on my body. I was completely unattached though. I couldn't move and even if I wanted to I couldn't. It was as if the only thing I had control over were my thoughts. The one thing in which I was caged. It felt restricting and claustrophobic. But for some reason I started to realize that this was the worst I could possibly get. Things could only get better from now on. If only I could just move. I could feel the soft whispers of conversation. Like an old radio it tuned till the words were audible. The hum disappeared and made space for coherency and I tried to focus on the words that were spoken. Those voices, I recognized. But it still felt so far away. Like I was trying to reach out to something that moved out of my reach. The closer I got, the farther it moved. It didn't make any sense and a wave of fatigue made itself known. Taking hold of my body like a poison, spreading itself till it had filled up every space in my body.

"Are you sure the cordial worked, Lu?" A stab of pain went through my heart. It shattered and the pieces penetrated my skin, evoking even more pain. I gasped out loudly and suddenly my eyes snapped open. Colours swirled, melting into one big blur. I let out a groan and closed my eyes again, shutting out the bright light that assaulted my eyes, fuelling the throbbing at the back of my head.

"Ana?" I heard rustling of clothes. One who was walking towards me. I then realized I was being carried, a warm pair of arms had hold of me, crushing me to their warmth. "Are you awake?" I was being lowered to the ground and I could feel the dampness of the earth.

"Peter, move aside." Susan's voice rang close to my ear as I was being moved again. I whimpered and someone murmured something inaudibly in my ear. The sheer sound of it comforted me and I let out a shaky breath. I fluttered my eyes again and tried to face the bright blur again. Despite the pain I wanted to.

"She's waking up." Lucy announced and now I didn't have any other choice but to push myself to a point of no return.

"Ana?" I heard his voice again and I tried to distinguish every swirl of colour. But it was as if they were dead sure to make themselves one big whole blur. I let out a breath and suddenly a face sharpened in my view. Slowly their features were turned into something I could distinguish, into someone I could recognize. Almond shaped grey eyes appeared and I blinked a few times. Susan's mouth was murmuring things I couldn't hear and I frowned, squinting my eyes to decipher the words that lay on her lips.

An arm was around my waist and its hand lay on my stomach. I turned my head and at first I could see the bright sun. The light encouraged my headache and I groaned again raising my head to touch the sore spot. Another hand intercepted and took hold of mine. Its calloused fingers held my hand in a familiar way and I felt another stab of pain. Another pair of blue eyes came in view and my heart halted. His face was exactly the same and the way he peered down at me made a wave of nostalgia appear. I blinked a few times but his face still remained there. As poignant as ever. I let out a deep breath and tears collected at the back of my eyes. I could feel their burn before they spilled. I put my hands on the ground to steady myself as other hands straightened me. I ignored their questions and merely focused on _his_ touch.

"Where am I?" I demanded suddenly, overruling their questions.

"Ana, you're in Narnia." Susan said gently as she kneeled next to me. I let out a harsh laugh.

"That's not possible." I ignored their confused looks and purposely evaded Peter's eyes.

"What do you mean with that? Of course it's possible. Ana, what's going on?"

"If I'm in Narnia. What are you doing here?" Edmund looked at Peter.

"Uh Ana. We were here looking for Caspian, remember? You came with us when we left the platform." I then realized that there were Narnians surrounding us, including Caspian, who was looking from a distance.

And that's when it hit me.

I was back. To _their_ Narnia.

"So I'm back again?" I gasped.

"Again?" Lucy repeated. "What do you mean with again?" I racked my brain for answered but everything was one big blur and things were swirling like a roller coaster. It spun and my mind was strained with answers. I groaned and put the palm of my hand against the bridge of my nose. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Let's discuss this later." Peter suddenly said. His voice stabbed me and I flinched. "We need to get to the How first." Before I knew it I was swept in his arms again, his hold on me tight and solid. There was no way I'd be able to break through that. And I didn't even bother trying.

_**XXXXXXXXXX**_

I wasn't quite sure how many times I would have to explain it to the Pevensies. I went into every detail, minus Peter's death and the fact I fell in love with him, but besides that every single thing was said. Every word was repeated. Every movement analyzed. And still no explanation from either side. At some point I even stopped contemplating about telling them further. I was put in one of the chambers in the How. It was like a hill, but it was a safe place, for now. Caspian was prepping an army. And Peter took over almost immediately. They had put me on the bed and I could feel the dried and crusty blood on the fabric of my clothes. I was still in my London dress. Something that should've been proof for the Pevensies to understand. And I reckon they wanted to believe it but they just couldn't grasp the situation properly. Nor could I, I just had the comfort of experience to rely on. But in my case it only put my mind at risk. Not to mention my heart.

It was exactly the same I had left things. Peter and I were mostly messing around. He was surprised I had so openly embraced him, not to mention the brief kiss between the two of us. But at least he hadn't pushed me away. That would've been brutal. And now I could only watch him as I kept my shaking hands in my lap. He was still the same. Nothing had changed, not even his clothes. But I had figured out that despite the fact I was in London for at least six months, only a few minutes had passed here. The magic of Narnia was still difficult for me to understand and I wasn't going to strain my head by trying to figure that part out, it was the least of my problems.

His sea-blue eyes fell on me and I let out a deep breath. Maybe I wasn't that subtle with avoiding him. Or I could say while I looked at everything but his eyes. His messy blond hair was illuminated by the candles and I guessed that the sun had set and that night was right around the corner. He and Susan were the ones that were talking mostly. Lucy and Edmund chipping in when necessary. But Lucy mostly stayed with me. Her presence soothed me.

"Are you alright?" She whispered. Edmund turned his attention to the two of us. I shrugged sluggishly.

"Perhaps we should let Ana get cleaned up. I reckon you'd want to take a bath." Edmund suddenly said. Peter and Susan turned their attention to me.

"Of course." Susan muttered. "I'll ask for a bath." She said as she gave Peter a pointed look. He glared at his younger sister before letting a sigh. She huffed and left the room.

"How do you feel?" Lucy persisted and I shrugged again.

"I feel alright. Just tired." I responded and she nodded quickly.

"I guess that is our cue to leave, Pete. Come on!" Edmund said. "Good night Ana." I gave him a smile and both of them walked out of the chamber. Peter still not directly talking to me. I let out a small breath.

"He's just confused." Lucy spoke up, practically answering the silent question. "You were gone for only an hour or so, perhaps even less." I nodded.

"It was six months for me, Lu. Confused is the least of what I feel." I told her and she gave me a calculating look before heaving a sigh, her blue eyes focusing on the sheets.

"You scared him." She admitted. I frowned and turned my eyes to her. Really? I voiced that thought and she nodded quickly. "You did!" She answered. "He didn't know what to do. And he _always_ knows what to do." I let out a small smile at that knowing she was right.

He did always know what to do, with or without anyone's help.

A few minutes later the bath was ready and both Susan and Lucy left me alone as I sank in the hot tub. I felt strangely enough older than ever. Even though I went from seventeen to twenty-one in a span of a second, and back to seventeen in no less than six months. Surely that would've been enough to prove I was most definitely mental, not to mention the strange defying the elements by being transported somewhere else that didn't even exist on a map.

It was only natural I was yearning back for London again. And not the London I knew. The London I came back from. I would trade a lifetime of servitude if I could go back now. Go back to the way I left things behind. Know that Narnia was real, but not having to fear the threat of ever being sent here again. The Pevensies were eager to return. But I did not want to go back. Nor would I even have thought of something like that before I got sucked to this place. I just wanted to go back to him. Back to Peter where we could focus on the future.

I wondered if it meant he still had to die.

I closed my eyes and the vision of his limp form flashed behind my lids. Showing me over and over again how I had left things behind. This Peter here did not even know what had happened between the two of us. I couldn't tell him either. It seemed as if someone had taken away something from me and given it back, but then with collatoral damage. I let out a deep sigh and continued to wash my body before getting up. I quickly dried myself off and changed into the dress Susan had left for me.

Suddenly a knock pulled me out of my stupor and I turned to the door as it opened. Revealing a tired Peter. He gave me a tentative smile and I quickly shifted my eyes to the floor, mumbling an hello. He closed the door behind him and I was painfully aware of his movements. He was far too close than I wanted him to be.

"You look better." He commented and I gave him a weak smile.

"Thanks." He nodded in response and we were engulfed in a painful silence. I let out a small sigh when Peter suddenly spoke.

"So what did you do for six months?" Peter asked and I shrugged slowly, slowly trailing my eyes over his physique. My eyes still not meeting his eyes.

"I thought I told you everything?" I retorted and Peter let out a harsh sigh.

"Yes, yes you did." He answered and I nodded before sitting down on the edge of the bed. It felt strangely awkward being with him like this. Especially since the two of us had been so incredibly intimate before. This should pale in comparison. Yet it didn't. I felt more vulnerable than ever. And that scared me. "Something must've happened though, something you're not telling us?" He hinted and I frowned.

"No!" I lied. "I told you everything that has happened." My fingers ran through my hair, still damp from my bath and I pushed it behind my shoulders.

"You're lying." He stated.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you're not looking at me!" He responded. "You haven't looked me once in the eye and I'm starting to doubt whatever has happened in London!"

I turned my eyes to him, shocked, that he actually had noticed something like this. I thought only the Peter in London could notice such a thing. The one that was dead. The one that wasn't here with me. I could feel my eyes sting with hot tears and I cursed myself mentally before getting up and moving to the other side of the room. I had my back turned to Peter and even though I didn't saw him, I knew he was observing me. His eyes always burned on my body. I let out a small sniffle. It didn't make any sense. I fell in love with the wrong Peter. I should've been in love with this one, the one who was standing in the same room as I was. The one who was so bloody oblivious to everything that had happened in London. Yet he wasn't. Or, I couldn't.

Again, it was I who had the trouble of changing.

"What aren't you telling me?" I turned around, my eyes blurring my vision with their hot tears.

"What do you want me to say Peter?" I demanded, feeling slightly more than agitated with him. "I've told you everything, yet you're still pestering me."

He frowned in confusion, his puzzlement being fuelled by the sight of my tears. I wiped at my cheeks fervently, feeling embarrassed. "You haven't told me everything!" He barked. His temper was showing now. "You just told us that you were transported back to a London where all of us were older. You haven't told me how you got back. You haven't explained _why_ you panicked when you saw me. And you haven't told me why you were hurt! All of that adds to nothing."

"I can't tell you!" I shouted.

"Why not?"

"Because." I choked. I put my hand to my mouth. How was I going to tell him? I couldn't blurt it out. Telling him I fell in love with him. That he died. Two things I had never expected. And both of it was snatched away from me.

Peter grabbed hold of my shoulders. His finger leaving an imprint. "Because?" He urged.

I closed my eyes biting on my tongue before I said something incredibly stupid. Like I love you. He shook me slowly and my eyes opened, seeing that his face was incredibly close to mine. His eyes, as blue as ever, penetrated mine and I could taste his breath on my lips. I let out a shaky breath, torn between the need to close the distance and move away. Peter made that decision for me as his eyes dropped to my lips. He quickly closed the distance between us and I felt this delightful pressure on my lips as our lips parted in sync.

It felt strangely like breathing, like he was my air and I was the recipient. I wondered if that was how he felt. I shut down any thought and focused on the kiss. I reckon I needed him more than I thought as I fisted my hands in the fabric of his tunic. Pulling him closer to me, trying to draw out his warmth, share it. Take it. His hand moved from my shoulders to the back of my head while the other gripped my hip, making me arch into him slowly. One of us let out a moan to retaliate and I had a sinking feeling it was me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his tongue probed my lip. His hands were like fire and it burned my skin but I liked being burned. So I kept asking for more and he kept giving.

He slowly pulled away and I rested my forehead against his chin. His breath caressing my forehead. I let my hand drift to his chest and I could feel him pull at the ends of my hair that was much shorter now than what I was used to in the past six months. I hadn't changed a bit here.

"Ana?" I heard Peter's questioning voice and I knew the reasons behind this kiss. He wanted the answer and he tricked me by giving me a kiss. I was that weak yes.

"I can't tell you." I whispered. Peter's chest heaved with a sigh.

"Why not?"

"It'll change everything." He pulled away and looked at me, his eyes raised in confusion.

"Change what?"

"Everything!" I emphasized. "I don't want to take that risk."

"What risk? Ana, I don't know what you're talking about, you have to tell me!" He insisted. I pulled away from him and eyed him cautiously. My eyes suspiciously dry now, the same went for my throat.

"You sure? You really want to know?" I asked and Peter nodded.

"Yes, everything!"

"Alright." I whispered. My throat constricted. "Something happened in London, between the two of us." I clarified.

"Like what?" He looked so oblivious, I wondered whether I should tell him. "Ana?"

"I fell in love with you." I blurted out at his insistence. "And then you died."

Peter's eyes widened as his skin tinged pale. "W-what?" He stammered.

I closed my eyes, biting my lip till it bled. "I fell in love with you." I repeated again.

It seemed I had opened a can of worms.

_A/N: Thoughts would be truly appreciated :] So leave me a review :)_


	23. No Love, No Glory

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just the plot and OC's you don't recognise._

_A/N: So this chapter came out later than anticipated. But college is a lot more time consuming than I thought. So I apologise for the delay. Anyways, the next chapter will be the last. I have it all sorted out now :) So for some reason I'm slightly nostalgic while posting this. But hopefully you guys will like it :) Because I actually have a new story in the making. A Narnia fic. One that will be posted when I update next! Anyway, enjoy this story first :P lol!_

_Song used **The Blower's Daughter **by** Amy Kuney**_

_No Love, No Glory_

"It's only a matter of time." Peter's voice was loud. The message in it clear. He was in charge. I could see Caspian on steps as he kept his distance. I let out a small sigh before turning my eyes to the one king that drew me in completely. His golden hair glimmering softly in the faint light. My heart quenched as his eyes met mine briefly. _Pang!_ The sound was unmistakably loud and painful in my chest. Like a thud that hit me straight where I was already so weak.

I knew that telling the truth would leave a whole lot of trouble in its wake. And it did. Peter was, righteously so, overwhelmed and he had walked away when I had finally told him what had happened. Opening up to him about something he didn't know because it wasn't _him_ I had experienced it with was painful and awkward. But for him to understand where I was coming from required truth. And I could only offer him that if he was aware of every single thing that had happened in London. I wasn't sure what I wanted from him now he knew. I wasn't expecting anything, partly because I wasn't thinking of going back to him. I had already left my love. If he was dead or not, it didn't make that much of a difference. He wasn't near me anyways. Dead or alive.

"Miraz's men and war machines are on their way. That means those same men aren't protecting his castle." Peter's voice continued.

"What do you propose we do? Sire?" Reepicheep asked. I eyed the small mouse as he stood on the stone table in the middle of the chamber, lacking a better word to describe this place we were in.

Both Peter and Caspian reacted. "We-"

"Our-" They said simultaneously and Peter glared at Caspian. Caspian, being the conceding one, pulled back and sat down again. I let out a small breath, not liking the way Peter behaved with my saviour.

Cause that's what Caspian was. He had pulled me away from that minotaur. Carried me to the spot, practically lead me back to Peter. So Caspian deserved that title. If only Peter saw it that way too. I knew it wasn't because of me, that Peter was rude to him. But I assumed it did play a part. How big that part was, I did not know. And I wasn't quite sure whether I wanted to know that in the first place.

"Our only hope is to strike them before they strike us." Were Peter's words and I found myself not listening anymore.

"But that's crazy." Caspian protested. "No one has ever taken that castle."

"There is always a first time." Peter responded back with a tinge of arrogance marring his tone.

"We'll have the element of surprise." Trumpkin was next.

"But we have the advantage here." Caspian said frustrated. I turned my attention to the walls, trying to figure out their structure as the words besides me continued to be exchanged. It seemed that the one person they should listen to was being cast away. After all, the King of old is back now. I inhaled deeply, drawing the attention of Caspian who gave me a weak smile. I responded back pretty much the same way.

"If we dig in we could probably hold them off indefinitely." Susan sided with Caspian.

"Look, I appreciate what you've done, but this isn't a fortress, it's a tomb." Peter turned his attention back to Caspian and I could feel the underlying tension between the two of them. Their testosterone fuelled words were enough to annoy anyone in a ten mile radius.

"Yes, and if the Telmarines are smart, they'll just starve us out." Edmund piped up sardonically.

I closed my eyes resting my head against the sturdy wall. If I strained my ears hard enough I would be able to hear what was going on, on the other side of the wall. Irrelevant perhaps, but certainly effective if I wanted to focus on something else. Something happy. Something that didn't involve Peter in any way. But it seemed I was that unfortunate since Peter was everywhere I looked.

When I slept he was there, when I woke up he was there and when I left he was there.

I couldn't escape the boy in any way I'd want to.

"We leave before nightfall." Were the last words I heard. My eyes snapped open and I felt myself being pushed closer to the wall as Narnians passed me by. My eyes sought for the golden hair with caution when I found him in front of me. His blue eyes stood wary and he grabbed hold of my shoulders before swiftly pulling me to a standing position. I found myself speechless.

"Move on." He ordered and he gave me a gentle nudge, forcing me to move up the stairs till we ended up in one of those long corridors that I wouldn't know where it lead to if my life depended on it.

I could feel his presence like a heavy burden on my shoulders. His warmth reaching out to me, trying to knock the wind out of me like a blow to the chest. Oh, hang on. That already happened. Perhaps it was becoming a habit. My mouth felt awfully dry and I wanted to turn around ask him if he was taking me somewhere specific but when I lost eye of the other Narnians I realized he was taking me somewhere private. I wasn't quite sure for what that was. Suddenly he grabbed hold of my hand. His hands surprisingly mellow, but what else had I expected then?

"Peter, where are we-" He cut me off.

"Not here." He said briefly and suddenly I recognized where we were. Of course. Peter's chambers were here.

He opened the door giving me another nudge before closing the door behind him. The silence that fell now the two of us were out of view was deafening. An oxymoron perhaps, but it was the only way to describe it. It felt so overwhelmingly silent that my ears were ringing. Or maybe that was just my imagination.

"Why are we here?" I asked carefully. I couldn't help but feel slightly cast away. Only used when needed. Cause that's what Peter did to me. He hadn't mentioned the fact that I had come clean once. He hadn't even shared his thoughts about them either. He just kept quiet and ignored it, as if it had never happened. "Peter?" I said his name firmly and he moved to his bed. Grabbing hold of his belt before loosening it and throwing it on the bed carelessly. My throat constricted with emotions. Why couldn't he look at me?

"You'll be staying here tonight." He said evenly. Barely any emotion in his voice. "Lucy will stay with you."

"What about you?" I asked.

Peter sighed before tilting his head, his eyes meeting mine finally. "Haven't you heard a word I just said? We're raiding the castle tonight." My heart stopped.

"Oh." I muttered and I dropped my eyes to the floor. When suddenly the fact registered in my mind. "Hang on! You're going to take over the castle?" I blurted out. "Are you mental?" I questioned. Peter raised his eyebrows at the sudden ferocity of my mannerisms. "I thought that it was practically impossible to get in there, let alone take over!"

Peter narrowed his eyes at me. "Nothing is impossible Ana. _You_ of all people should know." I backtracked as if someone had smacked me in the face. Peter kept his eyes on the wall in front of him. I was comfortably close to the door, I could run if I wanted to.

"Maybe you're right." I whispered. "You could use some help though." I pointed out. Peter turned his to me, he seemed closer than before, had he closed the distance in a few short strides? He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"What are you suggesting?" He asked suspiciously hostile.

"That you need help." I clarified. "_I_ could help."

"No!" Peter responded automatically. "Absolutely not Ana." He glared at me.

"Susan is going, isn't she?" I continued and Peter rolled his eyes.

"Unlike Susan you wouldn't be able to help Ana. You don't even know how to wield a sword or protect yourself and she does. You'd be more of a liability. So that's out of the question!" He narrowed his eyes again. "Anything else now you're being utterly idiotic?"

"No!" I whispered, my feelings completely torn apart and aching loudly. "But perhaps you could send me a memo when you get back, just so I'd know whether you survived or not." I said somewhat mockingly and I spun on my heel, my hand stretched out to the doorknob. Peter's hand cut off my not so great escape. His palm pressed against the door as he put his weight against the door, keeping it shut.

"Let me go." I hissed slightly. "Now!"

"No." He stated simply. I turned my eyes to him and regretted that immediately. My hand fell back to my side as Peter suddenly bent towards me. His breath tickling my face like a feather. Evoking an itch only he could scratch.

"What are you doing?" I asked somewhat fearfully. "Get away from me."

"Is that what you want?" He asked, a small smirk curling at his lip.

"Yes!" I said as firmly as I could with him in such close proximity.

"You certain about that?" He persisted. "Don't think I haven't noticed you watching me." He said arrogantly. As if he was taking pride in the reason.

"Don't flatter yourself." I snapped. "I've better things to do."

"Oh." He smirked at me and I narrowed my eyes. "And here I thought you loved me." I snapped my eyes to him.

"Not you!" I hissed. "Not ever you!" Anger rushed through my veins like poison. I couldn't believe he was using my words against me. Twisting them to satisfy his sick sense of humour. "I could never love someone like you!"

"Yet you fell for me."

"Like I said before." I stated slowly, as if talking to a child. "Not you. But him. I fell in love with _him_."

"Aren't we the same person?" Peter pointed out. I could see that he was enjoying this far too much. God, who was this? This could never be the person I fell in love with. Yet this wasn't a dream either. My eyes weren't betraying me. He was real. He couldn't be a fragment of my imagination.

"No!" I gasped. "You could never be like him." I put my hands on his chest. Feeling his heartbeat beneath my skin. Another proof he was real. "He was so much more than you could even dream of."

"Really?" His voice held a tone of certainty. One that could only be acquired with age. I kept forgetting that he was older in spirit than in body. But with the way he was behaving now, I severely doubted that fact.

Suddenly tears filled my eyes and I found my composure slipping through my hands like water. I couldn't even endeavour to hold on. My vision blurred steadily and I scrunched my eyes shut. The tears already brimming over. I could feel the wetness on my cheeks.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I muttered softly. The anguish in my voice far too prominent to ignore. I opened my eyes again and to my surprise I saw something flicker in Peter's eyes. It resembled the confusion and the faintest trace of pain that I felt.

"Why did you tell me?" He breathed out slowly. He lowered his eyes to the ground and I could feel the surprise burn in my stomach. It wasn't what I had expected to hear from him.

"You asked for it, remember?"I pointed out. "I didn't twist your arm. It was the other way around."

"But I hadn't expected to hear this from you." Peter let out a string of profanities. Before pushing him slightly out of my way. Creating a distance I was secretly yearning for.

"Well I wasn't expecting it to happen either." I snapped and the two of us separated. "But it did!"

Peter raised his hand and ran it through his hair, making it stick up at the back. His eyes were still glaring at the ground before he raised them to me. I could feel the resentment as he tried to form words. Trying to express what he truly felt. Even though I didn't even want to hear it, I was curious. But also waiting for the gauntlet. Waiting till he would seal my fate.

"If you're thinking I'm going to fall for you then you're seriously mistaken." I told him firmly. "Whatever happened wasn't between you and me." Peter blinked languidly, slowly processing my words.

"What are you saying?" Peter asked slowly. The anger in his eyes startling me. "I have no expectations whatsoever."

"I never said you had, I was merely stating a fact!" I shook my head slightly as I retaliated. "And it's not like it's going to happen. I barely know you." Peter narrowed his eyes and moved to his bed.

"You don't." He responded stubbornly. "And you never will!"

"Who says I want to!" I cried out. More because I wanted to have the last word instead of truly meaning it. I think we had reached a point where nothing made sense anymore and we merely were out to hurt each other. And I had to have the last punch. "You're nothing but an arrogant prat who thinks he can get away with anything because he is a _king_."

"Right, because I'd expect you to know how it feels." He threw back at me. I scoffed.

"I know enough!"

"You know _nothing_." Peter hissed. His eyes narrowing. "How long have you been here? Two weeks!" He took a step towards me, his hands motioning widely. "I've lived here for fifteen years! As the High King!" His eyes portrayed the anger he expressed. "Don't even think you could possibly know how this feels. I have a responsibility!"

"To Caspian!" I interrupted harshly. "Caspian is supposed to be king! And instead of helping him, you're more focused on how to prove your own worth!"

"He is a Telmarine!" Peter shouted back.

"And he ran away!" I shouted back. "He ran away from everything he knows. You should give him more credit. It's the least he deserves."

Peter raised one of his eyebrows and stared at me peculiarly. I hadn't realized before but for some reason we had closed the distance during our argument. We were standing so close that with one step I would be able to press my lips against his. Oh, hang on! Why was I thinking of that in the first place. Just because he resembled _him_, didn't mean it was him in fact! I let out a shaky breath as I realized what exactly was going on.

"I never knew you felt that way." He muttered lowly. I could hear the tinge of resentment and I chose not to react upon.

"You don't have to be a scientist to realize, Peter. You, however." I continued. "Aren't quite observant." Peter's eyes darkened and he glared at me.

At that exact moment a sharp knock sounded loudly and the door opened. Edmund's face appeared and the brow above his dark eyes furrowed slightly seeing the stances of our bodies. "Am I interrupting something?" He asked warily. He came inside and I dropped my eyes to the floor briefly, trying to compose myself again. Realizing, that there were tear tracks on my face for anyone to see, including Edmund.

"No." I said quickly giving Edmund a small smile. "You're not interrupting anything." I quickly turned around to the door and trotted out of the chamber. I could hear Edmund's voice fade away slightly.

"They're waiting for you, Pete! You ready for this?"

I didn't hear his reply.

_**XXXXXXX**_

They had left just before nightfall. Just as Peter had told them to. They left swiftly and with short goodbyes. I hadn't exchanged a word with anyone. I merely looked at them as they left the How. I had felt a sense of loss when Peter left. The same sense of loss when the other Peter had died. For some reason I still felt like i had trouble mourning the Peter I love since he was still in front of me. Or at least, in the physical sense. It seemed odd and the only thing that was consistent was the pain that I carried on my shoulders. I just had no clue how to express it.

There were days when I'd be sober enough to realize what I was doing. Yet there were days when I couldn't even bother to pretend.

And I didn't know what I preferred for it all had the same sense of blur, eventually.

Perhaps telling him wasn't such a good idea in the first place. Maybe he was better off knowing that nothing had happened. Maybe I should've kept this to myself. It would've been easier to deal with it I suppose. Without Peter's stare I wouldn't have the feeling that I was being put on the spot continuously. But that was not the case.

"They'll be back." Lucy said softly from besides me. I glanced to the younger girl. In the dark I was able to make out her pale skin. It practically glowed.

"I know." I murmured back and then spun on my heel, my feet already moving on my own accord. There weren't many that were left behind. Mainly women and a few fauns. Taking care of what was left of the How. I let out a small sigh as I entered the entrance and quickly moved through the corridors when I reached my chambers and opened the door.

The room was big. I hadn't noticed before but it was certainly too big for me alone. I had asked Susan or Lucy to share with me but they both already had their own chambers. And I suppose asking Edmund to share with me wouldn't be too appropriate. I let out a sigh. Suddenly remembering the slight jealousy Peter felt when I mentioned Caspian in our argument. He certainly didn't think I was interested in him. I doubted it. I leant against the door before making a quick decision.

It seemed that tonight I wouldn't be sleeping in my own room and I turned around again, wondering whether I would be sleeping at all.

_A/N: Thought would be truly appreciated :D I love to hear from you guys!_


	24. Facing The Ghost That Decide

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, merely the plot and the OC's you don't recognise._

_A/N: So I know I told you this was the last chapter but I had to split it up in two chapters, otherwise it would've been TOO much at once. Thank you very much for being so supportive and kind. Your reviews mean the world to me, they make sure that words are able to flow effortlessly, creating an atmosphere all of you are part of :) So thank you very much and hopefully you guys will like this chapter. There is a turning point coming up :)_

_Song used **Breathe Again** by** Sara Bareilles.**_

**_P.S My New Narnia Fic Is Up! It's called "King Of Anything" It may strike your fancy :)_**

_Facing The Ghost That Decide If The Fire Inside Still Burns_

"What happened?" Lucy's voice rang in the ominous silence that hung over the remnants of the army. Less than half had returned. I blinked a few times as moisture filled my eyes and my eyes briefly met Peter's. His angry strides radiating the fury that pushed through his veins. I stood near the entrance of the How, keeping my distance from them a bit. But mostly Peter. I still felt somewhat unsure about the two of us.

"Ask him!" Peter spat, nudging his head to Caspian who was behind him. His strides radiating the one thing that Peter probably felt. Defeat. I dropped my eyes to the ground, feeling a fight come up. This was Peter. He always fought.

"Peter." Susan admonished from a distance, the warning clear in her voice.

"Me?" Caspian was befuddled. His accent was now more prominent. "You could've called it off. You still had time."

"No!" Peter bristled. Both of them were now standing in front of each other; their eyes firmly set on each other. "There wasn't any time, thanks to you. If you kept to the plan, those soldiers might be alive right now."

"And if you stayed here, like I suggested, they definitely would've." Caspian retaliated.

"You called us, remember?" Peter informed Caspian stoically. His blue eyes shone with anger.

"My first mistake." Caspian retorted bitterly.

It was strange seeing the two contrasting people on opposite sides. Peter was light whereas Caspian was dark. Yet both wanted the same thing. Only they wanted it for themselves and not for the others. I let out a sigh and quickly moved up a few steps. The ground levelled out a bit and even though I kept my distance, I was close enough to interfere. If necessary. I wasn't quite why I would bother though. Peter and I hadn't parted on good terms and even though I didn't need a memo right now to confirm that he was still alive. I still needed contact with him. My mind spun with the overwhelming amount of emotions. Why couldn't I just stop feeling?

"No!" Peter barked. "Your first mistake was thinking you could lead these people." Peter made move to walk away and I blinked at him widely. How could the two of them smack those insults towards each other in a time like this. There were people who had lost their loved ones and here they were blaming each other.

"Hey!" Caspian shouted, making Peter stop. "I am not the one who abandoned Narnia."

"You invaded Narnia." Peter sneered. "You have no more right to it then Miraz does! You, him, your father. Narnia is better off without the lot of you." The second those words left his mouth there was a loud cry and Caspian drew his sword, Peter following him.

"No!" I cried out loudly. My feet moved on their own accord and I quickly reached the two of them before some serious damage could be done. I pushed away Peter's blade, nicking my finger in the process, but not caring at all. "Stop it." I said firmly putting my hands on his chest. "Pete." I breathed out and Peter's eyes fell on me. I recalled Edmund's voice in the background but I had no ears for that. I blinked at Peter languidly. His warmth was jumping on mine. I then realised what I was doing and quickly pulled away. My eyes portraying the sorry of my actions. Peter frowned before shaking his head slightly.

"Come on." I whispered. "Let it go." He briefly rested his eyes on me again before moving away, entering the How. I turned my head confronted with Caspian's sullen face before making a decision. I turned on my heel and followed Peter inside.

I wasn't sure why I was following him. I just realised I had to. It seemed things were going to take a wrong turn. Not that it had already, it had, trust me. Everything was this massive mess and I didn't have a cushion to fall on. My safety net had taken it upon himself to leave me. So now I had to make do with what was left and with what I could somewhat recreate of the remnants.

"Peter." I called out. He didn't stop. His sword in his right hand, his back turned to me. We passed the forgery and it was deathly silent. There weren't any more weapons needed as there weren't people that could wield it. My chest tightened at that. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. Peter and the others were supposed to go back to Narnia. Only it seemed that things were crashing down and it was crashing hard. Were they even going to return? Was I?

My pace quickened and I followed Peter into another corridor as he rounded the corner. I called out his name again.

"What?" Peter gritted out. He had stopped in his tracks, his face was now turned towards me and there was a look in his eyes that I couldn't quite decipher. "You still need that memo?"

I let out a sharp breath. "No, I just... I thought that..." I trailed off again and realised that this was still the same Peter as before he left. There would never be a change. At least not in him. After all, we were two strangers stuck in this massive mess. Weren't we?

"You thought what?" Peter responded harshly and I turned my eyes to him, not responding. Peter exhaled sharply. "Look I don't know what you want from me."

"I don't want anything." I told him quickly. "I just want it to be over." I closed my eyes. Good God, when were those tears going to stop.

There wasn't going to be any change. No change whatsoever.

"What if I said I loved you. And with that I mean _you._" I said suddenly. I opened my eyes and looked at Peter. I didn't love him. At least, not _him_. But I was long gone and I just needed some clear standards. If this would be over then I wanted it to be over for real. "What would you say?" Peter looked at me wide eyed. The shock on his face suddenly made him look older. What was I doing?

"I-I." He stammered. I suddenly turned around and saw that there were Narnians passing us by. Barely acknowledging me. I dropped my eyes to the ground. "What kind of joke is this?"

"It's not a joke. I'm sick of myself. You're actually dead. Or you're supposed to be but you're still here and I feel like I'm going crazy. I do not know whether to mourn or whether I should be happy because I keep seeing you. Only you're not him and I know it doesn't make any sense but how would you react?" I was rambling now. "The person I loved is dead but I keep seeing him in you. Yet you wouldn't know." I took a slight breath. "You couldn't possibly understand." I finished tightly. My chest was aching.

"Ana, you don't love me." Peter said slowly and I nodded.

"But I don't know what to do." I could feel my throat constrict.

"Well, this isn't helping either." Peter pointed out and I opened my mouth to reply when suddenly I heard Edmund's voice.

"Peter! We need you! Hurry!" Peter gave me a brief look.

"You wait here." He ordered me as he passed me by. As if I was going to listen to him.

_**XXXXXX**_

Everything happened so quickly I barely had time to react. I knew that Peter didn't want me here, he had specifically told me to wait. And I hadn't listened. Of course I hadn't listened. But I hadn't expected to see this. Caspian on the ground while a wall of ice loomed over him and Peter, who stood in some kind of circle. His eyes were fixated on the woman behind the ice. She had her hand held out and I could see Peter do the same. I could see Edmund call out Peter's name, asking him not to do it. But he was in a tight position himself. I quickly moved towards him, crying out his name. It was as if he couldn't hear me. The circle had cut off any sound from the outside.

I crashed into him, my body heavy as the two of us tumbled down to the hard ground. The blow caught me off guard and even though Peter caught the worst end of the fall I still felt it. I gasped loudly as I looked at Peter who was staring at me with a blank look on his face. Suddenly I heard a cracking sound and just as I turned to see what it was the two of us were showered with ice. Peter reacted quicker than though. He put his hands on my hips and turned us around. Now it was me who was staring at him. I felt uncomfortable with Peter's weight on top of me like that. Especially since I could feel small rocks dig into my back.

"Ana?" Peter sounded breathless and I gave him a weak smile. His hands were on either side of my waist and I was holding onto his shoulders. He turned his eyes to the non-existent wall of ice and we could see Edmund there.

"Ed-" Peter began but Edmund cut him off. Something peculiar about the look in his eyes.

"I know. You had it sorted." He reacted, his dark eyes betraying the sarcasm that laced his voice.

"You shouldn't have come." Peter commented stiffly when the two of us walked back to our chambers. I wasn't as fearless as before anymore. Clinging to the faint shards of courage that used to be a trademark of mine.

"Right, because you had it sorted, huh?" I threw back and he sent me a glare. He muttered something incoherently beneath his breath.

"Are you hurt?" He asked and I shrugged.

"Not really no." I responded and a thoughtful frown coloured his face. "You?" Peter gave me an incredulous look. I rolled my eyes. "You are though. Don't think I haven't seen." I told him. I gently motioned to the cut on his forehead.

"Oh that." He responded tonelessly.

"That looks painful." I said softly. He shrugged.

"Not really." I grabbed his arm, ignoring his protest and pushed him into his chamber. Butterflies were already causing havoc in my stomach. Any minute now it would burst open, expose their existence. I tried to push them away. They weren't meant for _this_ Peter.

"Ana." Peter sounded awfully lot like a petulant child. "It's not necessary." He said as I appeared from the small chamber connected to his room with a bucket filled with water and a rag. I gently wiped away the matted blood beneath his hairline, staining a few of his blond locks red. It looked odd.

"But I want to."

Silence engulfed us and I remembered a certain scene. One that was the same as months before, though it was weeks for him. I put my hand on his shoulder and slowly pulled away my rag. "How's the shoulder?" I asked him and Peter shrugged.

"Alright, I suppose." He responded and I nodded.

Being so near to him made me want to do things I wasn't allowed to do. Like kiss him. Surely we could pretend for a little while. I scrunched my eyes shut, I was such an idiot for even thinking of something so atrocious. A hand on my waist pulled me out of my self-inflicted stupor. I opened my eyes and saw that Peter was even closer than before. Our close proximity was making my head spin and I wanted to lean in, God I really wanted to. But it wasn't up to me and I didn't want to push myself into another corner. Peter raised his hand and he brushed away a loose strand of hair. His calloused fingers coming in contact with my skin.

I wasn't sure who initiated it, nor was I sure how it exactly happened. All I knew was that I was looking at him at first and kissing him the next. His lips were urgent as they moved with mine. It was strange I reacted to him so quickly. It was like an automatism. I was so attuned to him already that it frightened me. But this was Peter.

Peter.

I put my hands on his shoulders and parted my lips urging him to deepen the kiss. His hands burned through my clothes, a path laid out for him as I pressed myself closer to him. Wanting him near me, as close as possible. I drew out the kiss, slowly tantalising him with my lips when I could feel a change in my equilibrium. One second I was standing and the next I was straddling his hips, his hands like heavy bricks as they held my hips, pushing my body into him. I gasped into the kiss and put my hands on his chest, pulling away as I eyed him with wide eyes.

Where did that come from?

My stomach was up in knots yet I could feel the desire that was present in not only myself but in him as well. And I hadn't seen that look in his face since the Peter in London. Feeling dazed not to mention overwhelmed I stumbled out of his arms back to solid ground.

"Peter, I-" I cut myself off and I peered at the ground before looking at him again. "I'm sorry." He ran his hand through his hair and averted his eyes from mine.

"Don't be." He told me simply and with those words I left the chamber. Dizzy as the events spun in my head like a carousel going round and round.

I wasn't sure how many times Narnians passed me by, acknowledging me but I couldn't even hear what they were saying. My feet were moving in a rapid tempo towards the stone courtyard, the cool wind offering me support as it whipped across my face. Every slap waking me up, pushing sense into me. I blinked again. It was just past midday and the sun was shining yet a comfortable breeze made its presence known every now and then. I could hear the hooves of the remaining centaurs on the stones that lead to the entrance of the How. But I was moving in the opposite direction. Once my feet touched the grass I bolted. I lifted up my dress a few inches so I could run freely through the meadow.

The slight rush that ran through my veins. The disorientating feelings swirled like a spiral downwards and as I physically ran them away my heart started to pound. My eyes darting through the massive space of green before I reached the trees, my feet slowing down and I put my hands on a tree. Feeling the rough texture beneath my fingers pulled me back to reality and I realised that someone was calling my name. Feeling confused I turned around, only to be confronted with the tall, dark stature of Caspian.

"Lady Ana." He gasped and I shook my head quickly. I didn't know him that well actually and I felt uncomfortable with him calling me that.

"Oh please, no. Ana will do. Really." I told him, suddenly realising that I sounded out of breath. His dark eyes frowned but he nodded.

"Of course." I dropped my eyes to the forest floor. It was quiet, the usual quiet you'd expect in a forest, but for some reason if I listened really tightly I could hear the faint drums of the Telmarines near the bridge.

"Are you alright?" I asked him, referring to the wound on his palm. He looked down and gave me a weak smile.

"I will live." He told me and I nodded.

"Well the Narnians do need a king." I responded back and gave him a smile.

"And what gave you the idea I would be the one to fulfil that role?" He asked somewhat sardonically and the smile faded away rather quickly.

"Don't take what Peter says to heart. He's rather temperamental and sprouts out rubbish at the heat of the moment. I am certain he doesn't mean it. You are the king the Narnians need." I told him firmly. "I know."

His eyes were on the ground and I found myself sympathising with him. Here he was, all alone with no family whatsoever. Burdened with something no person should bear.

In some way we were in the same boat.

I opened my mouth to reassure him again when I heard a loud whizzing sound. An arrow embedded itself in the trunk of the tree. I let out a shriek and Caspian grabbed hold of my arm, pulling me behind him. My eyes frantically searched for something when Caspian suddenly urged me to run.

"Go!" He shouted. "Run!" I didn't hesitate and grabbed his arm pulling him with me as the two of us ran back to the How. Crossing the meadow in record time. I came to a stop in the stone courtyard and I eyed the silver plates of the Telmarine soldiers armours. They shone in the sun, reflecting light in every dark corner.

What they did here, however, I didn't want to know.

_**XXXXX**_

"Cakes and kettledrums! That's your next big plan? Sending a little girl alone into the darkest parts of the forest alone?" Trumpkin exclaimed incredulously. We were in the Stone Table chamber again. The dark only more pronounced since evening had fallen upon us. I wondered how long we were here. I would say a few hours most definitely.

Caspian had dragged me back into the How as he told Edmund what was going on and slowly the others were filled in.

"It's our only chance." Peter insisted. He crossed his arms over his chest. His blond hair unruly and his eyes darting all over the place, refusing to meet mine. And I was alright with that. It seems the two of us had reached our ending point. My eyes met Lucy's and they quickly switched to Peter's frame before turning back to mine. Her blue eyes filled with questions I was sure I wouldn't be able to answer, even if I wanted to.

"She won't be alone." Susan interjected.

"Haven't enough of us died already?" Trumpkin questioned.

"Nikabrik was my friend too, but he lost hope. Queen Lucy hasn't. And neither have I." Trufflehunter piped up.

"For Aslan!" Reepicheep said. His voice was high and soft and I found myself looking at the small mouse, wondering if he would ever let someone call him cute.

"For Aslan." The bulgy bear echoed. Peter looked at him and I could see the questions arise in his eyes. He was going to send his two sisters out there, where it was dangerous. Trying to find someone they weren't even sure would come.

"I'm going with you." Trumpkin said to Lucy.

"No." She refused. "We need you here."

"We have to hold them off until Lucy and Susan get back." Peter informed. I had a feeling that it wasn't something that could be done so easily. First of all we were outnumbered. They would slaughter us in a second, even if we offered some kind of resistance. I blinked at Peter.

I wondered why I never insisted on asking _my Peter_ how they won this battle. Maybe I would be able to help them, knowing the outcome would certainly make things better. I let out a shuddering breath. But I was no help. Perhaps they would better send me. I wouldn't be such a loss, after all, who would be here to miss me? Maybe I'd wake up again and realise that all of this was a dream. Perhaps I'd be back in my bed in London, my aunt telling me I had hit my head on the station when I fell, that I suffered from a concussion and that all I had experienced was merely a trick that was played by my mind. A hallucination. I wondered if those could feign feelings as well?

"If I may?" Caspian suddenly piped up. His voice came from out of the nowhere and I glanced at him as he rose on his feet." Miraz may be a tyrant and a murderer. But as king, he is subject to the traditions and expectations of his people. There is one in particular that may buy us some time."

I inhaled sharply before quickly snapping my head back to Peter. There was only curiosity in his eyes and he encouraged Caspian to continue.

I never exhaled.

_A/N: So how was it? The next chapter will up soon. I PROMISE! Your thoughts are very appreciated :) I love to hear from you guys..._


	25. Love, Draw Your Swords

_Love, Draw Your Swords_

"You can't do this." I said dully. I was glaring at Peter but my voice sounded weak, even though the anger I was feeling should've been coming out by now. But I only felt defeat and the worst kind of fear. Peter couldn't fight Miraz. I wasn't doubting his ability to fight because those were remarkable, but if he fought... I couldn't even finish that thought, the aftermath far too gruesome to deal with. Even though I had gone through it before, it was different. Because this time. He truly would be gone. I let out a shaky breath. "Please." I pleaded, my voice a mere whisper and Peter turned his blue eyes on me.

We were standing near the Stone Table, feeling the massive grinds beneath my hands assured me of my balance but I wasn't sure how long I could hold on to it. The chamber was slowly emptying and I could feel Peter's urge to flee but I wasn't going to let him. I grabbed hold of his wrist, holding on to him tightly and I pulled him back into me.

"You can't do this." I echoed again. It felt like a mantra in my head. One that was being ignored by him so skilfully that I wondered whether I had voiced my thoughts at all. "He'll kill you." Peter's blue eyes narrowed at me and I realised I had not only offended his manly ego but doubted his abilities as a skilled swordsman.

"It seems you already made your mind up about the fight." He retorted sharply and I let out a sigh.

"I didn't mean it like that." I told him quickly, shaking my head. "I know you're a good fighter but I don't think that'll be enough."

"What do you mean?" Peter asked and I was glad to see that we were alone now. It was quiet except for our soft breathings. Mine that seemed to accelerate by the thought of Peter fighting.

"He'll do something to sabotage it. And it won't be a fair fight. And you can get hurt real badly and what if something truly terrible happens and we just have stand by and watch how you'll get..." I trailed off and I put my hand on my forehead. "I don't want to see you die again." I bit lip fervently, feeling the moisture well up in my eyes. I tried to keep them at bay but when I looked at Peter they spilled over. His eyes softened and despite the confusion in his eyes there was affection. He grabbed hold of my hand and I tightly clutched his hands.

If this was all I was going to get I was going to milk it.

"I'm not going to die, Ana." Peter told me and I let out a small sob.

"You don't know that." I retorted back. I dropped my eyes to the ground. "You _can't_ know that."

"Ana, this fight isn't optional. I _have_ to do this." Peter told me firmly. "Besides, you saw _me_ when I was twenty-two and healthy in London."

"But that's not the same." I argued.

"How is that not the same?" He asked tightly. "You saw me Ana." He pointed out again. "Obviously I made it out of Narnia alive." I shook my head.

"When I saw you, you had no clue who I was. Me being here has tampered with a lot of things." I informed him. "What if it'll influence the outcome of this fight? Nothing is set in stone, Peter." I dropped my eyes to the ground. "I just don't want to see this end badly."

Peter put his hand over mine and slowly eased the grip I had on his wrist. "This isn't negotiable Ana. I don't have a choice."

"Can't you let Caspian fight?" I asked desperately. I had seen Caspian fight and he was skilled. Perhaps more so than Peter. But who I was to judge?

Peter scoffed. "I'm not going to let the future king of Narnia fight. He's the one that'll have to rule Narnia when we go back." Peter pointed out and I exhaled sharply. I could hear the contempt in his voice but I didn't want to react upon his. This testosterone fuelled arguing was completely unnecessary.

"Can't you do something?" I had now resorted to pleading.

"I am going to do something, Ana." He dropped my hand. "I'm going to fight Miraz. And that's final." I suppose he finally found the opening to leave because when I looked up he was halfway across the chamber and closing the remaining distance in a few strides. I rested my back against the table and let out dry sob.

Why wouldn't he just listen to me?

But then something else crossed my mind. Why did I wanted him to listen to me that badly? Just because he was Peter? Or because he resembled a Peter that was long gone. I blinked a few times. Not knowing what to think or feel.

"Ana?" Susan's voice was loud and I swiftly turned around. My eyes wide.

"Susan." I exclaimed. My throat scratchy. "What's wrong?" I asked her and she frowned. Her pale blue eyes concerned.

"Nothing. I just wanted to know if you were alright." I nodded quickly, answering her immediately.

"Yes, yes. I'm good. Thanks for asking." She nodded slowly, yet the frown never disappeared. In fact, the creases were only more prominent and I turned around, already moving out of the chamber.

"Are you sure?" She persisted. "Because I couldn't help but overhear your conversation-"

"Have you been eavesdropping?" I asked Susan, trying to keep the air light I added some amusement in it but I wasn't fooling her. She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, yes I know. But, it was kind of hard not to listen. The two of you were awfully loud." I swallowed thickly and the smile left my lips as I eyed the dark Pevensie.

"Well, yes I suppose so." I answered back. Not truly answering anything.

"Has something happened between the two of you?" Susan continued. I shook my head.

"No, 'course not." I lied. "What could've possibly happened?"

She looked thoughtful. "I don't know. You tell me."

"I'm really tired, Su." I made up an excuse as the tension was becoming far too personal. "I think I'm going to go to bed." Susan nodded slowly.

"Goodnight." I gave her a brief smile before running out of the chamber, closing the distance quickly. I moved through the many corridors of the How and as soon as I reached my room and had slammed the door shut I breathed.

My feet dragged to the bed.

I was too tired for this. Too tired for all of it. The pillow was soft and I wondered if it could dull the headache I had. If it could dull anything in fact.

_**XXXXXX**_

_I turned around wrapping the thick blanket around my shoulders, trying to keep the warmth inside as the morning light shone and coloured my eyelids orange. In the background there were the sounds of a typical morning in London city, voices of the pedestrians rising to the sky. I could feel the rustling of the sheets as someone next to me moved. A warm hand touched my shoulder and my eyes snapped open. _

_Hang on? London sounds? _

_The first thing I saw was that everything was so incredibly bright. Almost white and I let out a spluttering sound as I sat up straight. I blinked a few times as the familiar bedroom in Peter's apartment burned in my eyes. I blinked again. I turned to the figure next to me and saw Peter's confused blue eyes peering down at me._

_I let out a relieved sigh. "Pete." I murmured and he gave me a small smile and I reached out to him, grabbing his waist and nestling my face in the crook of his neck. "I had such a strange dream." His hand stroked the length of my hair._

"_Tell me about it." He responded gently and I pressed myself closer to him. The dream had felt so real._

"_I went back to Narnia. And oh God!" I exclaimed, dread filling my stomach. "Oh God, you died." His arms tightened around me. "We were at the platform when there was this crash and I was taken back to Narnia but you were dead. Only I saw the old you, remember when you found Prince Caspian." I started to ramble. "And you didn't remember anything we had. Or at least, not before I was taken back. And it was so horrible, because I thought you were dead but I couldn't tell anybody."_

"It's alright." Peter soothed. "Don't worry. It's going to be alright." I frowned and looked up, seeing his chin.

"_What do you mean it's going to be alright?" I asked confused. "It was a dream, Pete. It wasn't real." I gently pulled away as Peter's arms slackened and glanced at him. I looked around and was surprised to see that despite the curtains the light was incredibly bright. _

"_What is going on." I asked confused. His room seemed normal, but there was something off about it. I could feel it. I turned my eyes back to Peter. He looked the same like always. Sharp blue eyes, pale skin. Golden hair. Yet I felt off. This felt off._

"_Ana, it did happen." He said slowly. It looked like he was talking to a frightened animal. "It wasn't a dream." _

"_That's impossible." I gasped out difficulty. "If it wasn't a dream then you'd be dead." Peter dropped his eyes. _

"_I am." _

"_Oh God!" I exclaimed. "I'm dead too." I blinked. Oh God, I had truly done it now. I was dead. But how did I die? I just went to sleep. _

"_No, no!" Peter said immediately. "You're not dead. Calm down!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. We were sitting upright now. His arms around me like a cage. A pleasant cage. "You're not dead. I just wanted to tell you something."_

"_But you can't do that!" I said frantically. "You're dead! It's impossible! Unless I'm dead too."_

"_But you're not!" He interrupted. "Ana, listen to me. I had to talk to you."_

"_Then how?" I trailed off as I turned around and looked at him. _

"_I don't know either. I just woke up here. So I might as well use this opportunity." He responded. I nodded slowly. _

"_This is not healthy." I murmured. "I swear to God that I must be mental. No sane person can think up all of this!" Peter let out a small laugh. "It's not funny!" I brought out. "I'm insane." He rolled his eyes._

"_You're not. You don't have the imagination to think up Narnia. So no, this is all real." I sighed, dropping my head to the pillow._

"_Well, whatever this is. I don't want to go back. You can't make me." Peter laid down next to me, his warmth jumping onto me._

"_It's not your decision to make, Ana." I shrugged._

"_It bloody will be." I responded firmly. "I'm tired of this."_

"_I know you are." Peter conceded._

"_Do you know how big of a prick you were in Narnia?" I demanded. "Honestly, Peter! What were you thinking? You were such a self-righteous prat." Peter blinked at me confused. "I told you, the younger you or the other you, whatever. What I mean is that I told the Narnia you that I was sent back to London and at first you didn't believe me. Then you mocked me. And then you turned into this pompous arse and I wanted nothing more but to kill you but I couldn't because I was scared."_

"_Why were you scared?" Peter asked._

"_I knew you weren't the one and the same. But I suppose there was a part of me that was afraid that if I did anything it would ruin everything." _

"_Like what?"_

"_I don't know." I admitted. "I don't understand any of it."_

"_It seems like you do, Ana." Peter responded. I turned to him. _

"_What do you mean?" I asked him, feeling more than just confused._

"_I may not be the Peter in your world but there is a part of me in him, somewhere." Peter told me gently. "And I do think I can imagine what kind of a prat I was." He gave me a lopsided grin and I rolled my eyes._

"_So, you're telling me you _are_ the same Peter." I looked at him and Peter nodded thoughtfully._

"_We are."_

"_But I don't want him." I exclaimed outraged. The idea preposterous. "I want you."_

"_But we're the same." He persisted. _

"_No you're not." I shook my head. "You're not. He's everything you could never be."_

"_Ana. That's because you don't want him to be me." I frowned._

"_I don't get it." I told him. "You're telling me that even though you're not him he is in fact you?" Peter nodded. I raised my hands to my hair, refraining the urge to pull it out. "That's not possible."_

"_Ana!" Peter interrupted. "There will always be a part of me in him. Look for it. Be patient. And don't give up."_

"_But I just want you back. I don't want to look for you. I just want this." I could feel the tears set in. I bit my lip to keep them at bay but it seemed they had a will of their own. "I just want you like this. Alive." Peter let out a small sigh and reached out to me. Pressing his lips against mine gently._

"_But you have me already. Just not in the form and shape you want." He clarified. "Not yet." _

_The tears were now falling rapidly. "Why did I have to go through all of that just so I would be stuck with the same Peter again? Why was I sent back to London then? It doesn't make any sense?"_

"_It was never meant to make any sense Ana." Peter insisted. "Just meant to happen." I frowned and pulled away gently. _

"_So that's it?" I asked. "It was meant to happen. Is that an excuse?" I continued. "Peter you died! I saw you die! And in Narnia you're being stubborn by fighting Miraz, which means you can die. Again!" Peter laughed. "And why are you laughing? It's not funny!"_

"_I'm sorry, love. It's just, you're referring to the other me in Narnia and me in here as one and the same person. Doesn't that say something?" He asked me and I rolled my eyes again._

"_I'm not in the mood for games, Peter. Just say it!" I told him firmly. I wiped away the damp tearstains and glared at Peter._

"_Fine." He conceded. "You will find me in Narnia." He said finally. _

"_What do you mean?" I blinked. "You're coming back with me?" Peter shook his head slowly and my heart stopped beating. _

"_I'm already there." I frowned as my throat constricted._

"_That doesn't make any sense." I brought out and I turned to Peter again, only to see the space he occupied to be blank. My eyes swept through the room frantically. "Peter?" I said cautiously. "Pete?" _

_"Ana!" That was Susan's voice. "Ana? Wake up!"_

_**XXXXX**_

"Ana!" My eyes snapped open and I sat up straight in bed. Susan quickly moved backwards as I eyed her with wide eyes. "Are you alright?" Susan asked me and I nodded quickly. Too afraid to speak.

"Alright then." She continued. "Well, just wanted to tell you we're all outside. I brought you your breakfast." She showed the tray that stood on the night stand.

"Wait, where's Peter?" I demanded frantically. I jumped out of bed and found myself running to the door.

"He's outside. Edmund just got back." Susan replied, the confusion in her voice obvious.

"Wait, doesn't that mean?" I trailed off slowly and eyed Susan. She let out a sigh and nodded.

"The fight is tomorrow." I blinked before grabbing the doorknob and swinging it open.

"Ana!" Susan's voice was hollow in the dark corridor. There weren't many Narnians there but the few that were there were eyeing me with surprise and confusion. "Where are you going?"

"Outside!" I yelled back.

"But at least change your clothes!" She cried out. "Ana, you're being ridiculous. Come back!" I halted in my steps. She was right. I should at least be properly dressed and I spun on my heel, running back to my chamber again.

"What's the hurry?" Susan inquired and I shrugged.

"No reason." I responded back and she gave me a sour look, one that said that she didn't believe at all.

"Fine." She clipped. "I'll see you in a minute." And I nodded as she left the room. The door closing on its own accord as her footsteps faded away in the distance.

I didn't even glance at the tray with food. My stomach far too much up in knots to even think about eating something. So I quickly got dressed, made myself proper as I could. Although the frantic motion in my eyes wasn't to be missed. It was everywhere. The way I walked, talked and probably even looked as if I was going to burst at the seams. I closed my eyes, I could faintly taste the air in Peter's bedroom. He was here. Or, I was there. With him. With my Peter. I blinked again and a sharp stab hurt me in my chest. How many times did I have to lose.

It didn't matter that I had a Peter here in Narnia. Alive and well. It didn't matter that there were similarities in looks and sometimes even behaviour. It didn't matter there were feelings involved. I had already given my heart to someone. To Peter. To the one that wasn't here anymore, but in fact dead. And it was easy for him to say that he was in Narnia too. Because I carried him everywhere.

Maybe that's what he meant with looking for him.

I let out a sigh and turned around, walking out of the chamber with calculated steps. The pace quickening as I neared the entrance of the How. It was a nice summer day. That was obvious as the sun shone brightly. I was immediately reminded of my dream, or rather, my brief reunion with Peter. It was just as bright then as it was there. A stab of familiarity hit me and I blinked shocked. A gasp escaping my mouth.

He was here. Wasn't he?

I quickly started to run and as I got outside, the wind blowing softly, I could see Peter in the distance. Clashes of metal against metal, blade against blade, penetrated my eardrums and I eyed him for a second before quickly moving towards him again. From where I was I could see the ghost of a smile on his face as he pulled back his sword. Edmund said something and the smile disappeared and he nodded grimly. I blinked again. Oh God! There was a stab of longing as I realised that there was so much of Peter in him.

Of course, that was supposed to be this way. Cause this was Peter too.

And this massive mess had created this headache and I was so incredibly tired because of it all. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. Whether that was with him or not, I wasn't sure which one I want. If I could go back without the Pevensies, without the constant feeling of loss and love, then I would gladly take that. But if I could go back with Peter. Then I would take road in a heartbeat. Rather the latter than the former.

Suddenly Edmund nodded towards me and he said something before turning away. Giving me an opportunity I was searching for. I quickly walked to him again. My eyes set on his frame as he moved to the other side and sheathed his sword. I bit my lower lip for a brief second before calling out his name.

"Peter." I had reached him now and I grabbed his hand turning him around. His golden hair clung to his forehead, which was damp with an almost invisible layer of sweat. Ignoring the curious look in his eyes I searched for something. Something that would indicate _my_ Peter's presence. When suddenly his eyes dropped to the floor and a sharp stab to my stomach brought me to the realisation I needed so long.

He was already here.

"Pete." I choked.

"The fight's tomorrow." Peter said shortly. He pulled his hand out of mine and wiped the back of it across his forehead. "We don't have much time to spare." I nodded without realising. My eyes still stuck on his face. "So just say whatever you have to say."

"How long have we been here?" I suddenly asked. Peter looked taken aback and gave me a calculated stare, laced with confusion.

"Longer than a month or so." He said slowly and I nodded quickly.

"How long have we known each other?" Peter frowned.

"About a month, why? How long have you known _me_ then?" The last bit wasn't mean to be taken seriously. However, it was just the part I was searching for.

"About six months." I responded back. Peter raised his eyebrows and sighed, a scoff laying on his lips.

"Right, I forgot." He muttered lowly and I grabbed hold of his tunic. The fabric clenched between my fingers as I pulled his closer.

"Is there something you'd like to say to me?" I asked him carefully. Wondering what would come out of his mouth. I knew what I was searching for. Did he?

Peter frowned again. Lines marring his forehead as he shook his head slowly. "Ana, I don't even know how to answer that question." He responded honestly. "What do you want _me_ to say?" He asked carefully and I shrugged.

"What crosses your mind first?" I told him and I eyed his chin before turning my eyes back to his. "Cause we can do this so much differently."

"How?" He demanded and I dropped my eyes to the ground again.

How were we able to change whatever had happened. I couldn't forget it. Nor could he forget what I had told him. We were two strangers stuck in a world with our own experiences telling the opposite. That wasn't natural. We needed something new, a clean slate to change things so we would be able to do it in our own way.

"_Ana!" Peter interrupted. "There will always be a part of me in him. Look for it. Be patient. And don't give up."_

"_But I just want you back. I don't want to look for you. I just want this." I could feel the tears set in. I bit my lip to keep them at bay but it seemed they had a will of their own. "I just want you like this. Alive." Peter let out a small sigh and reached out to me. Pressing his lips against mine gently._

"_But you have me already. Just not in the form and shape you want." He clarified. "Not yet." _

Those words echoed in my head. That's what he had said. Peter. I turned my eyes to his again, searching for that thing he had told me to find.

And that's when it hit me.

A clean slate.

A new beginning.

I moved away from him, my hand not holding onto his tunic anymore.

"By starting over." I told him simply, befuddled myself. I held out my hand to his cautiously. "I'm Ana."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. I know who you are Ana."

"Do you?" I fired back sharply. "Because I have a feeling, we don't know anything. Or at least, not now. Or not yet." I whispered the last bit and didn't even bother whether he had heard me in the first place. "I think we should start over." I told him. "We might surprise ourselves." Peter turned his back on me and ran his hand through his hair. When he turned around there was an air of frustration all around him.

"I don't know what you're looking for but I can tell you now that it's not here." He told me harshly. "Starting over is not going to resolve anything." He finished and I let out a weak smile, my hand dropping to my side.

"I know. But I'm willing to try." I began. "And I don't know why but I have a feeling that we should at least try." I continued. "What do we have to lose?" I asked him softly. Peter's eyes met mine.

"I can't give you what you're looking for." He told me softly and I was touched by the honesty.

So he was here after all.

"You just did." I whispered back and I raised my hand again and waited for his. "I'm Ana." I said softly and I eyed Peter's reaction.

Reluctance was all over him but a shimmer of determination was there as well and he raised his hand grasping mine tightly. And I guess I found that little piece of Peter in him after all. I swallowed away the tight lump in my throat, relief washing over me like a wave of water.

"My name is Peter." I smiled at his gruff tone and he gave me an amused smile back.

"I know." And I took a step towards him reaching to my toes, surprising him with the sudden change of distance. My hand was still in his and I tightened the grip before gently closing the gap between our lips.

And this time, there was going to be more to it than before.

* * *

_Disclaimer: Nothing was mine except the plot and the characters you don't recognise._

_A/N: And it's over :O This was the scene I had pictured from the start. Although I have changed it a bit to fit the story. But I'm finally done. I'm relieved and sad at the same time. Especially because I never thought it was going to end. But it took me 1 1/2 years to finish this and it is over :O I want to thank every single one of you for being so loyal, patient and supportive throughout this whole fic! I guess you're the real troopers after all! I hope you guys liked the ending, or at least are able to come to terms with it. You can intepretate the happy ending for yourselves, or if picture it to be a not so happy ending, whatever strikes your fancy, because this story is OVER! No sequel is planned and nor do I intend to write more about them. I think this is their ending :)_

So thank you again for being plain brilliant! You guys are amazing!

_For the last time. Song used **Draw Your Swords **by **Angus and Julia Stone**_

_Let me know your thoughts ;) I love them!_

**_ANNOUNCEMENT: NEW NARNIA FIC! "KING OF ANYTHING" IS UP :) I would love for you guys to check it out!_**


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